Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Wonderful Wednesday

Today I am over the moon happy about the Supreme Court's rulings on DOMA and Prop 8. FINALLY people can exercise their rights as married couples. the wrong from November 2008 is now righted. This does not directly affect my life right this moment, as I am not in any type of partnered relationship. What it does impact is the possibilities, the potential for happiness for me and many others. This allows children not even yet born to grow up in a world where they KNOW they are valued and protected. The "otherness" of being anything other than hetero cis gendered is decreased. I wish for us all love and happiness.

May your week be truly wonderful!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend marked the official beginning of the Summer Swim Season - more on that in a bit.

Friday - Worked, did laundry and tidied up the house. All in preparation for going out with a friend. Had a really good dinner at Casbah Cafe, followed by viewing Much Ado About Nothing. The movie was a great, fun way to digest difficult Shakespearean writing. Not having spent much time viewing Joss Whedon work, my companion had to tell me why some of the casting was especially funny.

Saturday - Opening Swim Meet of the season. Realized The Oldest has a huge and expansive back, and he hasn't even begun to triangulate in puberty yet. He swam like an ox, powering through the water - not particularly quickly, but never flagging. Speed will come. The Youngest attacked the water with, as he stated, "extreme prejudice". He was faster than some, and both were proud of their performance. I told them that I love to watch them swim. Ran errands, and spent the evening reading the second book in a trilogy. I read the first book Tuesday night to Wednesday morning. This book took me from Saturday evening to Sunday morning.

Sunday - Slept in LATE!!! Felt a bit out of sorts for the late nights, but got my shit together enough to finish laundry, and watch Nephew's baseball game with Sis. Had a reading hangover all day. For me, this means that I continue to be immersed in the world I just read, thinking on the story, the characters, and futures for them all. The second book left me with just as many questions and desire for more, as had the first. I am hoping the third book is either available or shortly will be, for I am having a difficult time letting go of this. Just checked the author web site, and she has not completed the writing of the third book, so I will secure away books one and two to reread when the time for the third book is near. The  Boys came home at a reasonable time, and we spent the time before bed time hanging out and catching up from 5 days away.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Love and hug those around you while you can.

Today I am asking for love, good vibes, well wishes, focused intentions, positivity, prayers, and anything else you've got.

I am really struggling right now with effective co-parenting. My frustration has been mounting, and I am ready to snap. The last minute flakiness has always worn me thin, and it continues. Quite possibly the most difficult thing I have had to do is to walk away from my children, leaving them in the care of another woman who I do not really know, who is driving an unreliable car with 4 children inside (including my two Boys). This scares me like nothing else. I want to know for a fact that they are loved and cared for and about, but life has no guarantees. I find myself jumping through hoops to come to the rescue of The Boys, in order to get them to their committments. What that has caused (in only the last two days), is my missing a couple of significant and important meetings at work. The end result is my increased blood pressure, stress eating and overall bitchiness. I feel like I am not in control of my life (still) and that makes me angry.

Thanks Guys, I think I'll just go and cry now (Oh, that has increased too).

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Tableau Tuesday

Welcome to Tuesday. These pics were taken over the last two weeks or so.

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

 Have a great week!

Monday, June 17, 2013

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

Well another Weekend has come and gone, and I haven't made a wrap up post in a couple of weeks. So I'll get this weekend in here, and maybe talk about other crap going on. FYI - I have been an emotional mess for a few days now, crying at damned near everything.

The last day of school for The Boys, and a half day at that. I picked up The Youngest, and BFF picked up The Oldest. We met at my pool for our now annual last day of school swim happy hour. This happy hour was brought to us via the farmer's market beekeeper and her lime infused honey. I bought it the day before when she recommended using it to rim a margarita glass, pre salt. So, a pitcher of lime honey margaritas, three other moms and seven kids, snacks and toys at the pool for a few hours. It was nice and relatively relaxing, but painting toe nails after a few drinks left them looking really sloppy when I woke up the next morning. I did spend the whole time in nothing but my bad ass black cherry swimsuit, and not particularly self-conscious about my body, which made me pretty proud of myself. I swam, sat mostly in the shade and generally had a good time. The Oldest got his iPhone back, and is quite happy with life. He ended the year with not a single D on his report card (whew), 2As, 2Bs and 2Cs. The Youngest had all Os and Ss, 3s with a couple of 2s and 2 4s. Spent a few hours in the evening to late night on the phone with a Dear friend.

The Boys allowed me to sleep in until about 10:00. Spent the morning re-painting my toe nails after discovering the errors from Friday. Had breakfast for lunch, started laundry, cycled through the pantry and fridge cleaning up and rearranging. Took the boys to buy Father's Day cards for the ex and ice cream. Did more laundry and put away the rest of the camping gear (had to wash the sleeping bags). Made dinner, took The Puppy to the dog park. It was cute - we had to go on the big dog side because the little dog side was closed, and he had a blast running around with every sized dog. Took The Boys and The Weiner Dog to the ex's so they can spend tomorrow with him. Spent the rest of the night hanging out with The Puppy, doing laundry, and catching up on TV.

Father's Day found me awakened by The Cat at 5:45AM (this is after retiring at 1:30AM). The Puppy slept through the night, no problem. I'd been a little concerned he would miss The Weiner Dog, but seems he didn't miss his older buddy. Finished laundry since I was up so stinking early. Still wondering how a person who calls from the store to ask, is still unable to buy the correct size underwear for The Boys...
Breakfast at Vic's All Star Kitchen. This is my Dad's tradition, and he loves this place. My Dad and his best friend since grade school are regulars, having Monday breakfasts weekly. Came home, changed to slob clothes, vacuumed my car and the downstairs, then steam cleaned my carpet. 3+ hours later (and only one room), my back was aching, and I needed water, so of course I decided to wash my car. I did drink a couple of huge glasses of water. Then, because I wasn't actually going to be stiff or anything, I sat down and converted a word doc into an excel sheet so that I could mail merge labels for a friend who does not have excel, but does have word. Sometime during this, I received a call from my folks, and I already knew what it was going to be telling me.
My Godmother died today. She was seriously a bad ass. She was a body builder in the 60's. She was a massage therapist and a sheriff's deputy. She also had bipolar disorder, which only made my childhood make sense after the fact. I remember staying the weekend with them and waking up at 3AM to find her cleaning her kitchen - but not just the usual - she was emptying the cupboards and cleaning all the shelves. I thought she was crazy, but likely she was in a manic phase. She threw a dinner party (a holiday I think New Year's) during which she bent over to serve something, and fell out of her top. It was the 70's, and halter dresses and pantsuits were in while bras were out. As an adult I came to appreciate her sense of zen and calmness in a sea of chaos. She was there at my Grandmother's funeral, supporting our extended family, which includes my Godfather, (her husband) my Dad's best friend since forever. She recently became a Great Grandmother, and another Great Grandchild is due this summer. I am sad for all of us. Her family is moving forward and deciding how to best honor her memory. My Mom is giving her opinion on that, and I am not sure it is welcome, as she can come off as a bit pushy.

Other stuff from the last couple of weeks
My Dear friend is continuing to battle inflammatory breast cancer, and losing skin, and possibly muscle tissue from her chest wall. She now has a secondary infection, and is on yet another chemo (the sixth), but has to stop until the infection is under control.
I bought new bras this last week. Took BFF with me and the fitter at Nordstrom's should be commended for her kick ass ability to know what size I was just by looking. I have massively huge boobs. I discovered that I am nearly to the third vowel in cup sizes. And yes, I haven't had a bra fitting in about 9 years.
Last weekend The Boys and I went on a camping trip with Pathways class, and extended for the rest of the weekend with some of the class. It was really relaxing and fun. We came back smelling like pulled pork sandwiches due to sitting in front of campfires for days in a row. Was able to spend time hugging on The Boys' teacher who is spending 2 years in Germany. Having to say goodbye this year was harder than last because I realize exactly how much I miss her smile and her hugs, and her support.
Spent some time early in the week feeling like I was being screwed over in the divorce. Have let go of my attachment to the outcome, trusting that the universe will take care of it and things will turn out ok. Lots of deep breathing and meditating to help letting go.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Thoughtful Thursday

Love and hug those around you while you can.

Today I am asking for love, good vibes, thoughtful reflection, prayer, petitions to all the saints, gods, goddesses, the earth, and the universe for two particular people in my life.
G - My Godmother who nearly bled out during surgery for colon cancer. She is still in critical condition, still opened up until she can get stable and continue the operation. I want her to be able to see her kids and grand kids and great grand kid and all they are doing.
D - A dear, dear friend who has been featured repeatedly on this blog. Her drug trial wasn't working, and now she is back on a standard chemo, and has an infection complications her health issues, and angering her to no end. I want resolution for her and clarity.
Both women are important in my life and I want for them good health.