Maudlin thoughts going into the weekend.
Friday - Spent most of the day out of the house. District meeting, PFC meeting and teaching art - picture of the art project tomorrow. The day was HOT for early May, in the 90's and I was outside all afternoon. Spent time texting with The Dude about The Oldest's grades. The Dude does not have any further ideas for how to help, and I am doing everything I can think of, and have found to help him be more organized. He clearly knows the material, and gets good grades on quizzes and tests, but cannot for the life of him turn in stuff on time, and with his name, and meeting the criteria. He can usually hit one or two of those, but has a very difficult time hitting all three. We are currently using a checklist to see if that helps. Also, he will be taking a class over the summer to help with organizational skills. Friday night The Boys did most of their homework and then watched TV, which they haven't been able to do because of the homework load.
Saturday - The Youngest had a birthday party to attend - all day in Berkeley, including Adventure Playground, which I have written about and photographed over the course of years. While he was there, The Oldest and I attended The Ex's Grandmother's 90th birthday party. It was ok. A bit weird being there with the girlfriend and her kids, and a bunch of family that did not know we had split up. I did get the opportunity to see many people I hadn't in years, and catch up a bit with what they are up to. Also got to finally connect with a couple I'd been meaning to for a while and invite them to a few things in the town we share.
Sunday - The Boys finished homework and extra credit. I finished laundry, changed linens, built and erected an arbor in the back yard, grocery shopped, and received a threatening letter from my "neighbors" demanding I essentially keep my dogs in the house 24/7. The first letter ( a year ago), also threatening, stated that quiet hours were 10pm - 10am. Second letter (about 6 months ago), also threatening, stated they work from home and don't want the dogs out while they are working, or while they are trying to sleep in on weekends... This was more of the same. I felt harassed and bullied. Totally stressed me out having to think that I may need to move. Also do not have the $$$$ to move, nor can I afford anything even remotely similar to what I did or do have. What I need is a house, with enough bedrooms for us all, and a nice large yard for the dogs. I would not qualify for a loan in my current financial state of attempting to dig out from under this mess. Everything for rent that meets those criteria is either half my take home pay per month, OR so far away, that I would not be able to keep the kids in this school district. I am feeling stuck again.
Monday, May 6, 2013
Friday, May 3, 2013
Mental lint
So there is a ton of stuff just floating around in my brain. If you'll forgive the indulgence to follow:
The past three weeks have been unusually stressful and weird. This week in and of itself has been a weird roller coaster of being maudlin about what I will miss at the places The Boys and I have outgrown, and delight for some of the plans in place. There has been much stress over my responsibility in the success of The Boys at school. I have spent time with new friends, and even had worlds collide with my BFF meeting my new friends. the reception was a bit cool, though to be fair, there were assumptions on both sides, but I cannot choose between them. I will always choose BFF over anyone new (other than perhaps a romantic interest). That may be the end of those particular worlds colliding.
People at work keep trying to hand off work to me that is not mine, or assign work to me that is also not mine. 90% of my work time this week was devoted to about 10% of the organization, which means I'll be working over the weekend to catch up with what I actually should have been doing...
Also this weekend brings the first event with The Dude's extended family and his new family and me. I have been eating shittily, feeling particularly fat and sad and unhappy. I want to do something just for me, maybe even just alone. I need to clear my head. I need the ocean, and the sand. I need to sleep in a hammock. Oh, yeah I also just need to actually sleep. I've been thinking about taking up running, my hip and knee have been bothering me, I just don't feel like I fit anywhere in particular. There is no where that feels like "home" to me. I feel like a gal out of sorts, out of my element and out of my time.
I need to ground myself and surround myself with those who "get" me. I wonder if anyone really does "know" me, have I allowed anyone close enough, or has anyone cared enough? Do I trust anyone enough, or even trust myself? No clue, and lots of things to examine.
The past three weeks have been unusually stressful and weird. This week in and of itself has been a weird roller coaster of being maudlin about what I will miss at the places The Boys and I have outgrown, and delight for some of the plans in place. There has been much stress over my responsibility in the success of The Boys at school. I have spent time with new friends, and even had worlds collide with my BFF meeting my new friends. the reception was a bit cool, though to be fair, there were assumptions on both sides, but I cannot choose between them. I will always choose BFF over anyone new (other than perhaps a romantic interest). That may be the end of those particular worlds colliding.
People at work keep trying to hand off work to me that is not mine, or assign work to me that is also not mine. 90% of my work time this week was devoted to about 10% of the organization, which means I'll be working over the weekend to catch up with what I actually should have been doing...
Also this weekend brings the first event with The Dude's extended family and his new family and me. I have been eating shittily, feeling particularly fat and sad and unhappy. I want to do something just for me, maybe even just alone. I need to clear my head. I need the ocean, and the sand. I need to sleep in a hammock. Oh, yeah I also just need to actually sleep. I've been thinking about taking up running, my hip and knee have been bothering me, I just don't feel like I fit anywhere in particular. There is no where that feels like "home" to me. I feel like a gal out of sorts, out of my element and out of my time.
I need to ground myself and surround myself with those who "get" me. I wonder if anyone really does "know" me, have I allowed anyone close enough, or has anyone cared enough? Do I trust anyone enough, or even trust myself? No clue, and lots of things to examine.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Wicked Wednesday
I've been wracking my brain for a Wicked Wednesday post, but I cannot come up with any additional instances where I was completely stupid while also drunk. Sure, there were minor indiscretions, weird proclamations of undying lust after a few drinks, but nothing particularly noteworthy, humorous, or moral inducing.
Damn I have led a fairly safe and boring life to this point. So now, do I come off the hinges, do all that shit I never did? No. I am a mom first and that is my focus, to raise my boys into men. Men who respect people, who are feminists. Men who are not afraid to be exactly who they are, who are proud of themselves and where they come from. Good men with good hearts. The kind of men you want to know, be with, and/or be like.
I know they will have their own wicked Wednesday tales at some point, and I suppose I'm ok with that as long as they learn from those experiences, and do not harm anyone in the process.
It has been a rather maudlin week for me, with no discernible single reason or event to cause such feelings.so I will save thoughts for tomorrow.
Damn I have led a fairly safe and boring life to this point. So now, do I come off the hinges, do all that shit I never did? No. I am a mom first and that is my focus, to raise my boys into men. Men who respect people, who are feminists. Men who are not afraid to be exactly who they are, who are proud of themselves and where they come from. Good men with good hearts. The kind of men you want to know, be with, and/or be like.
I know they will have their own wicked Wednesday tales at some point, and I suppose I'm ok with that as long as they learn from those experiences, and do not harm anyone in the process.
It has been a rather maudlin week for me, with no discernible single reason or event to cause such feelings.so I will save thoughts for tomorrow.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Tableau Tuesday
Some random images from this week - all shot on my phone.
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday all!
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday all!
Monday, April 29, 2013
Monday Morning Music and Weekend Wrap Up
So I know I haven't posted in a week. Shameful. I let Wicked Wednesday and Thoughtful Thursday slide on by. I will say that I was busy last week. On Tuesday, I joined a new meetup group for beach volleyball, which necessitated a two day recovery after about 15 years of not playing the sport. On Wednesday, I drove on a field trip for The Youngest, and had 4 different places to be between school letting out and bedtime Was trying to figure out if people I thought had made passes at me previously really are interested, or if it was my wishful thinking. Probably wishful thinking, and know I need to move onto people who might actually date me. Thursday was swim practice and homework with The Boys, and Friday was me driving on another field trip.
Friday's field trip was to the zoo, and for the older kids, that involved answering a six page scavenger hunt about the animals there. We were reading all of the plaques and didn't even get to a section of the zoo during our time there. Friday morning, on the way to school, saw the daughter of a friend, and a couple of other kids in a not so safe place, with one of their bikes upside down. I had to do two u-turns to get back to them, but one of the bikes lost it's chain, and I put it back on - which was kind of a pain because there is a chain guard, and it is a beach comber with back pedal braking. Ended up with greasy fingers, and The Youngest being late to school. He complained all the rest of the way to school, but I told him that it didn't matter, because if you see a friend needs help, you stop and help. Got to school to find two of the kids needing to complete multiple chapters of math in order to be able to go, so I corrected their work as they were doing it, and we departed the school 45 minutes late for the field trip, which caused additional bitching by The Youngest, but much appreciation from the two impacted kids. You know what? I felt AWESOME - like a fucking superhero! Friday night, I went to a middle school fundraiser, and I need to remember not to go to the bookstore alone during a fundraiser. Bought a journal, and the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, and another book that looked interesting.
Saturday - got up early and went to Treasure Island for their monthly flea market with a friend and one of her friends. There was a ton of vintage stuff and just wandering around all day, eating from food trucks, and bought a couple of things. Met a bunch of really cool folks and saw lots of things I wanted, but not really needed. Was creatively inspired by so much that I felt overwhelmed at one point. Also did NOT find the scavenger hunt item... My one take away from the day was "Mail Order Moss". Came home and napped, because I was exhausted. Picked up The Youngest in the evening for Sunday's activities. Took him to froyo, and we just chilled out on the couch until bed.
Sunday - Got up early for a day off and took The Youngest to a fencing tournament - also on Treasure Island. He liked it well enough, but was a bit bored because he wasn't competing, nor was anyone he knew. He did convince me to buy him a glove, which he is pretty stoked about. I have to look up the scoring for fencing, as it's been too long since I fenced, and it was for such a short amount of time, that it is no longer anywhere in my accessible memory. We went to lunch on the way home, and I dropped him back at The Dude's. Took the dogs for a walk when I returned, and it was pretty warm (90 degrees), so I let them walk in the creek, and I crossed it, managing to stay on my feet, despite having to cross on moss covered rocks. They had baths when we returned, and I finished laundry. A good tired for all of this, and feel accomplished even though my house is still a disaster, the kitchen table crowded with recent mail, homework and book acquisitions.
Oh, and some music to start off your week:
Friday's field trip was to the zoo, and for the older kids, that involved answering a six page scavenger hunt about the animals there. We were reading all of the plaques and didn't even get to a section of the zoo during our time there. Friday morning, on the way to school, saw the daughter of a friend, and a couple of other kids in a not so safe place, with one of their bikes upside down. I had to do two u-turns to get back to them, but one of the bikes lost it's chain, and I put it back on - which was kind of a pain because there is a chain guard, and it is a beach comber with back pedal braking. Ended up with greasy fingers, and The Youngest being late to school. He complained all the rest of the way to school, but I told him that it didn't matter, because if you see a friend needs help, you stop and help. Got to school to find two of the kids needing to complete multiple chapters of math in order to be able to go, so I corrected their work as they were doing it, and we departed the school 45 minutes late for the field trip, which caused additional bitching by The Youngest, but much appreciation from the two impacted kids. You know what? I felt AWESOME - like a fucking superhero! Friday night, I went to a middle school fundraiser, and I need to remember not to go to the bookstore alone during a fundraiser. Bought a journal, and the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, and another book that looked interesting.
Saturday - got up early and went to Treasure Island for their monthly flea market with a friend and one of her friends. There was a ton of vintage stuff and just wandering around all day, eating from food trucks, and bought a couple of things. Met a bunch of really cool folks and saw lots of things I wanted, but not really needed. Was creatively inspired by so much that I felt overwhelmed at one point. Also did NOT find the scavenger hunt item... My one take away from the day was "Mail Order Moss". Came home and napped, because I was exhausted. Picked up The Youngest in the evening for Sunday's activities. Took him to froyo, and we just chilled out on the couch until bed.
Sunday - Got up early for a day off and took The Youngest to a fencing tournament - also on Treasure Island. He liked it well enough, but was a bit bored because he wasn't competing, nor was anyone he knew. He did convince me to buy him a glove, which he is pretty stoked about. I have to look up the scoring for fencing, as it's been too long since I fenced, and it was for such a short amount of time, that it is no longer anywhere in my accessible memory. We went to lunch on the way home, and I dropped him back at The Dude's. Took the dogs for a walk when I returned, and it was pretty warm (90 degrees), so I let them walk in the creek, and I crossed it, managing to stay on my feet, despite having to cross on moss covered rocks. They had baths when we returned, and I finished laundry. A good tired for all of this, and feel accomplished even though my house is still a disaster, the kitchen table crowded with recent mail, homework and book acquisitions.
Oh, and some music to start off your week:
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Monday, April 22, 2013
Music Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
For the last week, The Boys have been requesting the following:
The first time I played it for them, at their request, about half way through, The Oldest says, "Mom, you know there is a clean version of this." I replied, "Yeah, this isn't it."
On to the recap weekend:
Friday - Plans were to go to the newly opened Exploratorium on Sunday, but in order to actually be able to do that, The Boys had to complete any homework due Monday. There was much wrenching of hands and knashing of teeth, but homework was indeed completed.
Saturday - The Elementary School carnival was all day. We went a little early and all three of us volunteered, got a tiny bit sunburnt, and had fun. Pictures tomorrow. After arriving home, I took a nap, and felt even worse after waking up. Likely had a bit of heat exhaustion. Drank a ton of water, and went to pizza and yogurt with a couple of friends. We all laughed a ton and it was exactly what I needed.
Sunday - After such a long day on Saturday, we slept in. No one wanted to get out of pajamas, or shower, or really do anything. The Oldest was distraught when he figured out that we weren't going anywhere at noon. Instead, I did laundry, The boys vacuumed and weeded and straightened up. I went grocery shopping and bought stuff for the yard. My mini garden will start this week with tomatoes, basil and strawberries. Also bought an arbor to get the climbing roses off the path in back. Plus soil, and tomato cages. Going to try right side up this time, after years of upside down tomato plants. Went to my folks' for dinner, stopped at Sis' afterward, and we're finally home and in bed and ready for the week ahead.
And we are going to go into the week with what initially drew me to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis:
Have a good week all!
The first time I played it for them, at their request, about half way through, The Oldest says, "Mom, you know there is a clean version of this." I replied, "Yeah, this isn't it."
On to the recap weekend:
Friday - Plans were to go to the newly opened Exploratorium on Sunday, but in order to actually be able to do that, The Boys had to complete any homework due Monday. There was much wrenching of hands and knashing of teeth, but homework was indeed completed.
Saturday - The Elementary School carnival was all day. We went a little early and all three of us volunteered, got a tiny bit sunburnt, and had fun. Pictures tomorrow. After arriving home, I took a nap, and felt even worse after waking up. Likely had a bit of heat exhaustion. Drank a ton of water, and went to pizza and yogurt with a couple of friends. We all laughed a ton and it was exactly what I needed.
Sunday - After such a long day on Saturday, we slept in. No one wanted to get out of pajamas, or shower, or really do anything. The Oldest was distraught when he figured out that we weren't going anywhere at noon. Instead, I did laundry, The boys vacuumed and weeded and straightened up. I went grocery shopping and bought stuff for the yard. My mini garden will start this week with tomatoes, basil and strawberries. Also bought an arbor to get the climbing roses off the path in back. Plus soil, and tomato cages. Going to try right side up this time, after years of upside down tomato plants. Went to my folks' for dinner, stopped at Sis' afterward, and we're finally home and in bed and ready for the week ahead.
And we are going to go into the week with what initially drew me to Macklemore and Ryan Lewis:
Have a good week all!
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