Today felt rather productive, which is a change from how things have been lately. The Boys had Presidents Day off and mostly lazed about the house while I worked. I did get The Oldest to mow the front lawn while the youngest took his lacrosse stick out for a spin.
I finished the crab feed program and sent it to the printer, proofed the one off, and asked for just a tiny change. It looks fabulous and I am glad that is behind me!
Took The Boys for haircuts. The Oldest because his last cut was a disaster and needed to be fixed, and The Youngest because he'd become a hair farmer, his last cut having been in June of last year - a buzz cut for swim season. They look much better now, and I lament the fact that The Youngest now looks like a teenager (even though he isn't yet 12).
While The Boys were in the barber shop, Corky and I went back to the mattress shop to buy our new bed. It is a big step, buying an expensive piece of furniture together, and for me it means I am investing in a future that she will be a part of. I am looking forward to having a nice and comfortable place to sleep.
I also did Corky's taxes for her on line, and sent them off. I will be meeting with my CPA later this month as well, but while Corky gets a nice little refund, I expect to pay in the thousands. Bah.
The rest of this week will be meetings, and preparations for the crab feed, and the arrival of the new bed.
This evening ended up being rather mellow with The Boys finishing homework and my having a bit of free time to write. Nice.
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Monday, February 9, 2015
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
No rest for the weary. No break from stress either.
Friday
Picked up kids from school, got home and had them doing homework rather quickly (this was not without the usual fights over "why?!" and "This is dumb!" and "I already did that". The last, when followed up with my desire to check said completed work is always met by, "God, you are so mean! why do you have to check everything!" and finding out that it was not yet even started. The exhausting arguing lasted all evening. The arguing also included Corky stepping in to tell The Boys when to pick their stuff up, and getting me involved for each and every infraction. I have a fundraiser coming up (that I am not the chair for, but as PFC President, there is still responsibility on my shoulders) and we are sorely needing volunteers. I am hitting up every possible angle for this, and still people are sitting on their hands. Last week the stress was ticket sales, this week it's volunteers. I'm sure next week will be something else entirely.
Saturday
The day started with arguments over homework and housework. One of The Youngest's friends came over to hang out in the afternoon (after The Youngest finished all chores and homework, even if the homework was so hastily and sloppily done that I had him send it to his teacher to proof read on Monday). Also along was my VP who was able to effectively talk me off of a cliff, AND take on additional responsibilities so that I don't have to do quite as much as I have been all year. At lease I am reassured that it is obvious to all others involved that I am doing the lion's share of the work, without the help of my co-president. Once they left it was the mad rush to finish prepping for my parents' visit and dinner. Sweeping, mopping, putting a meatloaf together and in the oven, peeling and boiling potatoes and washing and chopping Swiss chard. Dinner was nice, my mom did not criticize a single thing. My dad laughed and complimented the food (as did mom). The Oldest made the meatloaf, and Corky and I the sides. I also made icebox cake for dessert, which I hardly ever make because one of the ingredients are not readily available year round. My mom was surprised about my draconian screen time and bedtime rules, but she also has no idea what kind of trouble The Boys have gotten themselves into on screens, so I didn't get into it. We finished the evening with showers and bed because I was wiped out.
Sunday
Woke up EARLY with an upset stomach and horrible diarrhea - bleh. Woke up again a bit early, but not bad. Corky wanted to play, but I can't really have the level of intimacy I want because she is still sick, and I really absolutely must remain healthy. So I made sure she enjoyed herself, but I feel myself pulling away. I enjoy bringing her pleasure, but it isn't the same and I don't know if it is because we have not been able to be intimate in the way I enjoy, or if the constant demands of tidiness around the house puts unrealistic demands on me as a lackadaisical housekeeper, and sticks me in the middle of the arguments with the boys about their lack of tidiness. But I am just tired of everything. I am trying to de-stress on my own, but there is always some other demand on my time, attention, emotion or all of the above that leaves me feeling empty, without an oasis in sight, and no hope for reprieve.
I am irritable, and premenstrual - also does not help in any way because my luck will be to start my period in time for Corky to be perfectly healthy again, and Valentine's Day, which is our weekend away at Mardi Gras.
This afternoon we were going to take The Boys to the Pinball Museum, but they were closed for a private event. We ended up at an arcade (which was okay, but so crowded, that there was more waiting for an open game than actual play time). We took a break to look at the newsstand where The Boys begged me to buy them $40 worth of books, comics, magazines, junk food each. I offered to buy one comic book or item of food each. The youngest then proceeded to buy himself additional food and comic books... We stopped at one of my favorite shops on the way to the car and they again begged me to buy them stuff every time I turned around. They shadowed me through the store continuing their pleas, while the entire time was me saying"no" repeatedly, until I threatened to make them wait outside. Left for the car and there was more whining about what they didn't get to do or buy and how put upon they were to have to hold a magazine so that I could browse and purchase a pad of paper.
In the car finally and no one wants to go to eat the same food for dinner. The Boys are being intentionally contrary toward each other, so I drove back to my town and by then it was dinner time and they had agreed. When we got to said place, it was PACKED and there was no hope of having anything to eat within the hour. A second destination was picked and there was additional whining because it wasn't the suggestion of The Youngest. I stopped the car until a decision could be made, and by that Point I was hungry and had had it up to my eyeballs.
Got to second destination and the wait was not unreasonable. Ordered food and drinks. Food arrives and mine is cold. not lukewarm, but cold. It had been sitting on the pass through for a nice long time while our waitress sat at a booth visiting with a friend. All I wanted was a hot meal... Sent it back and the manager brought it the second time, another server brought our next round of drinks and the manager who brought the second round meal (which was actually hot) said she'd check back (never happened). The original waitress was asked for drinks (those had to come from another server we flagged down after 20 minutes of the original waitress visiting more with her friend in the booth).
By the time we left I just wanted to cry. I actually still do - typing this out isn't making me feel better, just sad and lonely and alone and like I'm not actually able to be in a relationship. I am difficult to live with when I am under extreme stress (Like now). I feel myself pulling away and not telling Corky when I am upset with her. Sometimes I don't even realize what the actual problem is, I do know that I don't always say when something bugs me.
Earlier this week I started reading a book for an LGBT book club a friend just started. Corky attended the first meeting with me and did not enjoy it. I didn't particularly enjoy it either because it was literally 4 people who already know each other discussing everything but the book we just were picking up. This isn't Corky's thing, and I get it, but I still want to read the book. It is fascinating so far, and I am enjoying it. Corky saw the book on the coffee table and when she realized which book it was and why I had it, she dismissed it as "Oh, that's the book for the stupid book club." and then went on to pooh pooh the club and the leader. I was pissed, but didn't say anything (which I should have because it has colored my entire week). I didn't want her to think she was in the wrong. Her opinion is valid, but her dismissing what I like was hurtful.
Then in bed on Saturday night, she made a remark about my stomach. I am already self conscious about being overweight, but had let my guard down with her because I thought (and still think) she loves my body. But comments like that make me wonder if she'll stick around, and I know how psychologically self destructive those comments are for me. I tend to internalize them and lash out by becoming even heavier (which is really a bad idea). From the age of 10 I have been sensitive about my weight, and the comments that have cut the deepest have come from those I love and respect the most. To have an ex who slept around on me really fucked with my head and heart, and I can feel the walls building up in my relationship and I don't know how to stop them...
Once we got home tonight, Corky needed copies of the medical records for disability, and of course my fucking printer runs out of fucking ink... I did manage to download her x-rays, so she can take the CD with her, and then I tried to fix The Oldest's glasses, took Corky's advice on it, and ended up fucking them seriously up. Finally (after hours) said "fuck it" and paper clipped them together, reinforced by duct tape. A trip to the Optometrist tomorrow after The Boys get out of school. Can't wait to see what this costs me.
This sucks. Tomorrow is Monday and I will be working - on what I have no idea.
Friday
Picked up kids from school, got home and had them doing homework rather quickly (this was not without the usual fights over "why?!" and "This is dumb!" and "I already did that". The last, when followed up with my desire to check said completed work is always met by, "God, you are so mean! why do you have to check everything!" and finding out that it was not yet even started. The exhausting arguing lasted all evening. The arguing also included Corky stepping in to tell The Boys when to pick their stuff up, and getting me involved for each and every infraction. I have a fundraiser coming up (that I am not the chair for, but as PFC President, there is still responsibility on my shoulders) and we are sorely needing volunteers. I am hitting up every possible angle for this, and still people are sitting on their hands. Last week the stress was ticket sales, this week it's volunteers. I'm sure next week will be something else entirely.
Saturday
The day started with arguments over homework and housework. One of The Youngest's friends came over to hang out in the afternoon (after The Youngest finished all chores and homework, even if the homework was so hastily and sloppily done that I had him send it to his teacher to proof read on Monday). Also along was my VP who was able to effectively talk me off of a cliff, AND take on additional responsibilities so that I don't have to do quite as much as I have been all year. At lease I am reassured that it is obvious to all others involved that I am doing the lion's share of the work, without the help of my co-president. Once they left it was the mad rush to finish prepping for my parents' visit and dinner. Sweeping, mopping, putting a meatloaf together and in the oven, peeling and boiling potatoes and washing and chopping Swiss chard. Dinner was nice, my mom did not criticize a single thing. My dad laughed and complimented the food (as did mom). The Oldest made the meatloaf, and Corky and I the sides. I also made icebox cake for dessert, which I hardly ever make because one of the ingredients are not readily available year round. My mom was surprised about my draconian screen time and bedtime rules, but she also has no idea what kind of trouble The Boys have gotten themselves into on screens, so I didn't get into it. We finished the evening with showers and bed because I was wiped out.
Sunday
Woke up EARLY with an upset stomach and horrible diarrhea - bleh. Woke up again a bit early, but not bad. Corky wanted to play, but I can't really have the level of intimacy I want because she is still sick, and I really absolutely must remain healthy. So I made sure she enjoyed herself, but I feel myself pulling away. I enjoy bringing her pleasure, but it isn't the same and I don't know if it is because we have not been able to be intimate in the way I enjoy, or if the constant demands of tidiness around the house puts unrealistic demands on me as a lackadaisical housekeeper, and sticks me in the middle of the arguments with the boys about their lack of tidiness. But I am just tired of everything. I am trying to de-stress on my own, but there is always some other demand on my time, attention, emotion or all of the above that leaves me feeling empty, without an oasis in sight, and no hope for reprieve.
I am irritable, and premenstrual - also does not help in any way because my luck will be to start my period in time for Corky to be perfectly healthy again, and Valentine's Day, which is our weekend away at Mardi Gras.
This afternoon we were going to take The Boys to the Pinball Museum, but they were closed for a private event. We ended up at an arcade (which was okay, but so crowded, that there was more waiting for an open game than actual play time). We took a break to look at the newsstand where The Boys begged me to buy them $40 worth of books, comics, magazines, junk food each. I offered to buy one comic book or item of food each. The youngest then proceeded to buy himself additional food and comic books... We stopped at one of my favorite shops on the way to the car and they again begged me to buy them stuff every time I turned around. They shadowed me through the store continuing their pleas, while the entire time was me saying"no" repeatedly, until I threatened to make them wait outside. Left for the car and there was more whining about what they didn't get to do or buy and how put upon they were to have to hold a magazine so that I could browse and purchase a pad of paper.
In the car finally and no one wants to go to eat the same food for dinner. The Boys are being intentionally contrary toward each other, so I drove back to my town and by then it was dinner time and they had agreed. When we got to said place, it was PACKED and there was no hope of having anything to eat within the hour. A second destination was picked and there was additional whining because it wasn't the suggestion of The Youngest. I stopped the car until a decision could be made, and by that Point I was hungry and had had it up to my eyeballs.
Got to second destination and the wait was not unreasonable. Ordered food and drinks. Food arrives and mine is cold. not lukewarm, but cold. It had been sitting on the pass through for a nice long time while our waitress sat at a booth visiting with a friend. All I wanted was a hot meal... Sent it back and the manager brought it the second time, another server brought our next round of drinks and the manager who brought the second round meal (which was actually hot) said she'd check back (never happened). The original waitress was asked for drinks (those had to come from another server we flagged down after 20 minutes of the original waitress visiting more with her friend in the booth).
By the time we left I just wanted to cry. I actually still do - typing this out isn't making me feel better, just sad and lonely and alone and like I'm not actually able to be in a relationship. I am difficult to live with when I am under extreme stress (Like now). I feel myself pulling away and not telling Corky when I am upset with her. Sometimes I don't even realize what the actual problem is, I do know that I don't always say when something bugs me.
Earlier this week I started reading a book for an LGBT book club a friend just started. Corky attended the first meeting with me and did not enjoy it. I didn't particularly enjoy it either because it was literally 4 people who already know each other discussing everything but the book we just were picking up. This isn't Corky's thing, and I get it, but I still want to read the book. It is fascinating so far, and I am enjoying it. Corky saw the book on the coffee table and when she realized which book it was and why I had it, she dismissed it as "Oh, that's the book for the stupid book club." and then went on to pooh pooh the club and the leader. I was pissed, but didn't say anything (which I should have because it has colored my entire week). I didn't want her to think she was in the wrong. Her opinion is valid, but her dismissing what I like was hurtful.
Then in bed on Saturday night, she made a remark about my stomach. I am already self conscious about being overweight, but had let my guard down with her because I thought (and still think) she loves my body. But comments like that make me wonder if she'll stick around, and I know how psychologically self destructive those comments are for me. I tend to internalize them and lash out by becoming even heavier (which is really a bad idea). From the age of 10 I have been sensitive about my weight, and the comments that have cut the deepest have come from those I love and respect the most. To have an ex who slept around on me really fucked with my head and heart, and I can feel the walls building up in my relationship and I don't know how to stop them...
Once we got home tonight, Corky needed copies of the medical records for disability, and of course my fucking printer runs out of fucking ink... I did manage to download her x-rays, so she can take the CD with her, and then I tried to fix The Oldest's glasses, took Corky's advice on it, and ended up fucking them seriously up. Finally (after hours) said "fuck it" and paper clipped them together, reinforced by duct tape. A trip to the Optometrist tomorrow after The Boys get out of school. Can't wait to see what this costs me.
This sucks. Tomorrow is Monday and I will be working - on what I have no idea.
Monday, January 12, 2015
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Just a warning that this may turn to a rant at any poin in the writing, and it is not to be taken personally by anyone real or imagined.
Friday
The kids and I walked through their grades and missing assignments. The Oldest pulled his grades out of the gutter (at this point in time) However, he is still needing to improve by quite alot. So we wrote out what was needed to be completed over the weekend, and I took all screens away, with their ability to earn an hour per day for screens. They whined and bitched and moaned and threw fits worthy of Verruca Salt. In the end, they got no screen time for all the whining. Instead, they played together, and we played Monopoly as a family. I made a tri tip in the crock pot, and we added mashed potatoes and gravy, and broccoli and cauliflower. The Boys called it a hit, and Corky enjoyed it too. I had a salad. When we went to bed I removed the UVerse box, the Xbox controllers, the remote controls, and changed the passwords on all devices.
Saturday
Morning, and The Boys were pissed off because they were going to do what they always do, which is get up quietly and sneak onto screens of some sort. They said I was cold for doing what I did, and I explained that no screens, means exactly that. Corky made fantastic pancakes for breakfast. The Boys whined some more that there was nothing to do, and they were going to be bored, and then threw in my face that at their dad's house, they get half a day Saturday on screen, and then are chased outside for the other half of the day. I countered that I was not going to spend my Sunday fighting over homework. It was all to be done Saturday. You know what? It was done. All of the homework. Plus, rooms cleaned, bathroom cleaned, and two tie blankets for charity done. We joined a new Meetup for committed gay couples (and their families) at a good restaurant and enjoyed the meal and meeting new people. Corky was uncomfortable in the crowd, and was quiet. The Boys were relatively well behaved, and I enjoyed myself.
Sunday
Grape Nuts and bananas for breakfast was exactly what I needed. I got The Boys outside, mowing the front and side yards, and clearing out the piles of debris in the back. We still can't start the lawnmower, so they are push mowing. We cleaned out the garage, hauling a bunch of stuff to the thrift store. We assembled the bunk beds and took pics for a Craig's List ad. My Nephew came over to finish his video to send to soccer scouts and college coaches. Corky was out of sorts most of the day, and we broke down before she went home for the night. We are okay, and all still learning to live together, and there are bumps along the way.
Also this weekend, I was finally able to finish photoshopping our NOH8 photos:
I hope you all have a fantastic week.
If you are wondering if I am living under a rock for not mentioning the insane terror attacks in various parts of the world (France, Syria, Colorado, Nigeria), or the death of Leelah Alcorn (or many, so many other LGBT youth), or all of the other horrors and atrocities of our world; I am not. What I am choosing is to reflect on my own life, and my individual impact on this world as a whole. I am trying to protect myself, and my empathetic heart from breaking at all of the loss. I can only live in the moment of sadness and loss for just that, the moment. I cannot allow the fear, sadness to build in my heart. There is already more love in my heart that I send to each of you.
Friday
The kids and I walked through their grades and missing assignments. The Oldest pulled his grades out of the gutter (at this point in time) However, he is still needing to improve by quite alot. So we wrote out what was needed to be completed over the weekend, and I took all screens away, with their ability to earn an hour per day for screens. They whined and bitched and moaned and threw fits worthy of Verruca Salt. In the end, they got no screen time for all the whining. Instead, they played together, and we played Monopoly as a family. I made a tri tip in the crock pot, and we added mashed potatoes and gravy, and broccoli and cauliflower. The Boys called it a hit, and Corky enjoyed it too. I had a salad. When we went to bed I removed the UVerse box, the Xbox controllers, the remote controls, and changed the passwords on all devices.
Saturday
Morning, and The Boys were pissed off because they were going to do what they always do, which is get up quietly and sneak onto screens of some sort. They said I was cold for doing what I did, and I explained that no screens, means exactly that. Corky made fantastic pancakes for breakfast. The Boys whined some more that there was nothing to do, and they were going to be bored, and then threw in my face that at their dad's house, they get half a day Saturday on screen, and then are chased outside for the other half of the day. I countered that I was not going to spend my Sunday fighting over homework. It was all to be done Saturday. You know what? It was done. All of the homework. Plus, rooms cleaned, bathroom cleaned, and two tie blankets for charity done. We joined a new Meetup for committed gay couples (and their families) at a good restaurant and enjoyed the meal and meeting new people. Corky was uncomfortable in the crowd, and was quiet. The Boys were relatively well behaved, and I enjoyed myself.
Sunday
Grape Nuts and bananas for breakfast was exactly what I needed. I got The Boys outside, mowing the front and side yards, and clearing out the piles of debris in the back. We still can't start the lawnmower, so they are push mowing. We cleaned out the garage, hauling a bunch of stuff to the thrift store. We assembled the bunk beds and took pics for a Craig's List ad. My Nephew came over to finish his video to send to soccer scouts and college coaches. Corky was out of sorts most of the day, and we broke down before she went home for the night. We are okay, and all still learning to live together, and there are bumps along the way.
Also this weekend, I was finally able to finish photoshopping our NOH8 photos:
I hope you all have a fantastic week.
If you are wondering if I am living under a rock for not mentioning the insane terror attacks in various parts of the world (France, Syria, Colorado, Nigeria), or the death of Leelah Alcorn (or many, so many other LGBT youth), or all of the other horrors and atrocities of our world; I am not. What I am choosing is to reflect on my own life, and my individual impact on this world as a whole. I am trying to protect myself, and my empathetic heart from breaking at all of the loss. I can only live in the moment of sadness and loss for just that, the moment. I cannot allow the fear, sadness to build in my heart. There is already more love in my heart that I send to each of you.
Monday, December 1, 2014
Monday Morning Thanksgiving Weekend Wrap Up
Yep, this was Thanksgiving in the US. Yep, we celebrated. Yep, The Boys had the whole week off of school. No, they did not finish their homework before arriving at my house on Wednesday afternoon after spending a week at the ex'. Oh and I only had Thursday off of work, though to be fair the rest of the week was really slow, allowing me to get in on some training I'd been meaning to do.
Thursday
Thanksgiving at my Sister's. I had green salad and pumpkin pie to bring. Totally loved waking up late morning, not having to prep a massive meal and clean. I need to thank her again for hosting. Corky was at one of her sister's homes too, and I missed being able to spend the day with her. The Boys were sort of bored because The Nephews were on phones and xbox all day playing what The Youngest didn't want to play.
Friday
Wanted to decorate for Christmas, but The Boys still had homework before Monday, so it was Homework Friday, instead of Black Friday (though they would argue that it's the same thing). The Youngest made blueberry scones for breakfast which were delicious.
The rest of the day and evening was spent fighting over homework and rehearsal. I nearly lost my voice at one point. Corky chose not to spend the night, and I missed her.
Saturday
All homework was finished, we had breakfast, cleaned house and decorated! This is the first holiday season in this house, so we had to decide where everything was going, including the tree. Figured it all out and I think it looks good. Afternoon and evening were spent making ugly Christmas sweater cookies pictured below:
We watched It's Christmas Charlie Brown and The Birdcage, and just enjoyed each other and a nice fire.
Sunday
Slept in for a bit and had a nice relaxing breakfast before more trombone rehearsal. Eventually we worked our way to My Folks' to celebrate The Oldest's birthday (which happens tomorrow). Snacks, and chicken spaghetti, salad, Swiss chard, and Mary bread for dinner. chocolate cake with chocolate whipped cream frosting and Mexican Train Dominoes after dinner. When we went around the table, we all pointed out why we adore The Oldest, and I made it 2/3 of the way through before tears started spilling down my cheeks. I cry at every single one of these. Every one. I am always so touched by the outpouring of love within our family that I can't help but cry. Corky went home after The Boys showered and I already miss having her here.
I hope you all have a wonderful week.
Thursday
Thanksgiving at my Sister's. I had green salad and pumpkin pie to bring. Totally loved waking up late morning, not having to prep a massive meal and clean. I need to thank her again for hosting. Corky was at one of her sister's homes too, and I missed being able to spend the day with her. The Boys were sort of bored because The Nephews were on phones and xbox all day playing what The Youngest didn't want to play.
Friday
Wanted to decorate for Christmas, but The Boys still had homework before Monday, so it was Homework Friday, instead of Black Friday (though they would argue that it's the same thing). The Youngest made blueberry scones for breakfast which were delicious.
The rest of the day and evening was spent fighting over homework and rehearsal. I nearly lost my voice at one point. Corky chose not to spend the night, and I missed her.
Saturday
All homework was finished, we had breakfast, cleaned house and decorated! This is the first holiday season in this house, so we had to decide where everything was going, including the tree. Figured it all out and I think it looks good. Afternoon and evening were spent making ugly Christmas sweater cookies pictured below:
We watched It's Christmas Charlie Brown and The Birdcage, and just enjoyed each other and a nice fire.
Sunday
Slept in for a bit and had a nice relaxing breakfast before more trombone rehearsal. Eventually we worked our way to My Folks' to celebrate The Oldest's birthday (which happens tomorrow). Snacks, and chicken spaghetti, salad, Swiss chard, and Mary bread for dinner. chocolate cake with chocolate whipped cream frosting and Mexican Train Dominoes after dinner. When we went around the table, we all pointed out why we adore The Oldest, and I made it 2/3 of the way through before tears started spilling down my cheeks. I cry at every single one of these. Every one. I am always so touched by the outpouring of love within our family that I can't help but cry. Corky went home after The Boys showered and I already miss having her here.
I hope you all have a wonderful week.
Monday, November 10, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Beautiful weekend - high temp was 90 F. Busy-ish and just right.
Friday
I won tickets earlier in the week to see the opening night of CHICAGO The Broadway Musical on tour in San Francisco. I had to pick up The Boys from school, and meet their father at my house at about the time we got back from the school. Following work, Corky and I had an early local dinner and rode BART to the theater. The cast was amazing. We ran into an old co-worker of Corky's, and his date, and I spied in the audience a former friend, whom had an inappropriate relationship with the ex, while we were still (I thought happily) married. She was with her husband, and I was in no mood to visit... We hightailed it home after the show and into bed late, "All That Jazz" ringing in our ears.
Saturday
Song of the day was "Cell Block Tango". Slept in and had a light breakfast before heading out grocery shopping and looking at stores for inspiration for this year's Holiday cards. Finding none, we continue to ponder. Attended the local Veterans celebration where the middle school jazz band played a few songs. The Oldest had two solos and they sounded great. The Youngest was left at their father's with another boy a year younger. I do not think 10 and 11 are old enough to be alone for a couple of hours. My opinions mean little to their father however, and fall on deaf or angry ears. And so it goes. Finished the grocery shopping and had some alone time with Corky before heading out to dinner with a couple of friends. They were particularly bickersome, and so it was not as pleasant as it could have been. Spending time when they are like this leads to the inevitable comparison to our relationship and the gratitude we have for one another, and for how unlike them we happen to be (in general and in how we communicate to one another, and how we reflect our relationship to the public). Early bed time felt great.
Sunday
Song of the day was "Razzle Dazzle". Woke up to my darling Corky making coffee and cinnamon rolls. Delicious. Also, spent some time cuddling in bed before getting up and ready for the NOH8 photo shoot in San Francisco. Picked up the boys and headed out to the city. We arrived at the time it began and only had to wait about an hour before having our pictures taken, first Corky and I, and then with The Boys. Met a couple of friends there and had a late lunch, then wandered Union Square for a bit, dessert, more wandering then home. The Boys have Monday and Tuesday off of school, and of course did ZERO homework during their stay at their father's. So as usual, it is up to me to be the strict one and make them do all their work over the next two days. I also know they didn't sleep with any particular schedule, so I get to do that too...
Friday
I won tickets earlier in the week to see the opening night of CHICAGO The Broadway Musical on tour in San Francisco. I had to pick up The Boys from school, and meet their father at my house at about the time we got back from the school. Following work, Corky and I had an early local dinner and rode BART to the theater. The cast was amazing. We ran into an old co-worker of Corky's, and his date, and I spied in the audience a former friend, whom had an inappropriate relationship with the ex, while we were still (I thought happily) married. She was with her husband, and I was in no mood to visit... We hightailed it home after the show and into bed late, "All That Jazz" ringing in our ears.
Saturday
Song of the day was "Cell Block Tango". Slept in and had a light breakfast before heading out grocery shopping and looking at stores for inspiration for this year's Holiday cards. Finding none, we continue to ponder. Attended the local Veterans celebration where the middle school jazz band played a few songs. The Oldest had two solos and they sounded great. The Youngest was left at their father's with another boy a year younger. I do not think 10 and 11 are old enough to be alone for a couple of hours. My opinions mean little to their father however, and fall on deaf or angry ears. And so it goes. Finished the grocery shopping and had some alone time with Corky before heading out to dinner with a couple of friends. They were particularly bickersome, and so it was not as pleasant as it could have been. Spending time when they are like this leads to the inevitable comparison to our relationship and the gratitude we have for one another, and for how unlike them we happen to be (in general and in how we communicate to one another, and how we reflect our relationship to the public). Early bed time felt great.
Sunday
Song of the day was "Razzle Dazzle". Woke up to my darling Corky making coffee and cinnamon rolls. Delicious. Also, spent some time cuddling in bed before getting up and ready for the NOH8 photo shoot in San Francisco. Picked up the boys and headed out to the city. We arrived at the time it began and only had to wait about an hour before having our pictures taken, first Corky and I, and then with The Boys. Met a couple of friends there and had a late lunch, then wandered Union Square for a bit, dessert, more wandering then home. The Boys have Monday and Tuesday off of school, and of course did ZERO homework during their stay at their father's. So as usual, it is up to me to be the strict one and make them do all their work over the next two days. I also know they didn't sleep with any particular schedule, so I get to do that too...
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Sadness and Stress
It's that time of year. This is September, and soon will mark the one year anniversary of my dear friend's death. She is never far from my mind, but I really long to hear her laugh, and share stories of our sons. I flat out miss her. Terribly. Today I just let loose and cried. Sadness was the prevalent emotion, but the stress of my current financial situation added to the mix. September also marks the beginning of school and the hemorrhaging of my bank account for school registration and supplies. It is only going to get more expensive too. I am stressing about college already. I am so glad Corky was here. I just needed her to hold me while I cried. I needed the comfort of her arms, and her gentle touch and soothing words.
Wednesday, September 3, 2014
Tableau Tuesday - on Wednesday
I have a feeling this entire week will have me a day behind... All shot over the last week, including the first day of school, Scottish Games and Lawrence Hall of Science.
Created with flickr slideshow.
And the videos from Berkeley:
I hope you all have a good rest of your week.
Created with flickr slideshow.
And the videos from Berkeley:
I hope you all have a good rest of your week.
Monday, July 28, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
A nice long and really HOT weekend. Over 100 degrees at home for days and days, no end in sight.
Thursday
Found out in the morning that my Mom is going for surgery on Monday (with a cancellation of the surgeon's). Took the afternoon off of work, picked up Corky and headed out of town to San Francisco to celebrate the occasion of a year together. Checked into the Palace hotel and relaxed for a little while. Went to the Pied Piper for drinks, and then to Source for dinner. dinner was disappointing. The food is what I see as a new trend. Vegetarian and Vegan meals made for a carnivore's palate. Most meals feature soy based meat-like products and their all vegetable dish was just so-so. Corky's was OK for her, but featured a spice that made me a bit gaggy. We left feeling bloated and a bit ill and walked it off for a couple of miles back to the hotel. During the walk, Corky had poop (hopefully dog) splashed onto her pant leg, which was pointed out near a CVS. We bought tissues and hand sanitizer, cleaned her off and continued. It was brisk and I ended up chilled when we got back. After all of that, we chose to just retire to bed, lest additional crappy things happen.
Friday
Our acctual anniversary of our first date. Slept in a bit and headed to the Ferry Building for brunch. It was already 70+ degrees. Had quiche and coffee and a cinnamon roll, all of which were delicious. The quiche was especially amazing. Walked around the building and the street fair and attempted to catch a streetcar headed to the wharf. Two completely jammed cars went by us and we decided to try a taxi. None were near or stopping, all were full already. We and two other people, who were so nice decided to try a water taxi. for $30, they would take all 4 of us to the wharf. OK, so a bit more than the $2 per person for the streetcar, but it was on the water, and not like sardines, sweating in a hot car... We boarded with a cute little family of three, toddler included, and cast off. With the temperature hovering near 85, on the water was the perfect place to be. The ride took about 15 minutes, but he idled us around pier 39's famous sea lions, and Forbes Island, as well as up close to the seaward side of the SS Jeramiah O'Brien and the USS Pampanito. We disembarked closer to the Maritime Museum, and walked the wharf, stopping at the Musée Mécanique, and Pier 39 where I had my ear cartilage re-pierced. Yes it hurts just as much this time as it did the last, making me wonder if I should have just done a different spot... Walked back to the car as it had now cooled to about 75 degrees. Headed back to our side of the bay and stopped at Treasure Island to see the view and find the Doggie Diner heads. Stopped for dinner at our favorite place ever, Mangia Mi. Dinner and dessert were fabulous as always, and despite the 95 degree heat, it was a pleasant evening.
Saturday
The final dual swim meet before championships, and The Boys swam well, beating times in about half of their races. It was over 100 degrees and backstroke suffered as a result of being at the end of the meet. The team did win though, and finished the season undefeated. That was a great result, and now we only have champs next week. We came home, showered and changed and headed to Sis' house for her boyfriend's 50th birthday party. It was fun, and I enjoy his family. Mom was subdued, as expected while thinking of her surgery. My Sister's BF is a really great guy and deserves all the happiness he has brought to Sis and Nephews. We then went to the pool for the annual swim team "sleep" over. Set up our tent and I sat to visit with one of my classmates from 5th grade. I met two other families, one with a husband from Ireland, and the other couple from Scotland. It was great, and they are both so very nice. We sat up drinking and talking, and I finally got The Youngest to go to sleep at midnight, with a warning to The Oldest to not cause any trouble (he didn't). But I awoke with a start at 4:30 to find no trace of The Oldest in the tent. I walked to the other side of the pool grounds to find all of the 15-18's and the managers sitting around visiting, and my 13 year old completely amped up on Coca-cola. One of the young men got him to go to bed by telling him that he wasn't old enough to stay up all night. He groused all the way back to the tent where he fell asleep in under 2 minutes.
Sunday
Woke up at 7:15 a little bleary eyed, packed up and headed home. Went to check on BFF's mom and animals, but her mom decided to stay the weekend, so I have no responsibilities there, which had I known, I would have been slower to get home. Went home and crashed for 5 hours while The Boys vegged out in the heat. When I woke up, Corky was here, we talked and she went home to her air conditioning. We ended up having Frozen Yogurt instead of dinner, because it's hot, we're all tired, and none of us wanted to cook. Early to bed to face tomorrow and the rest of the week, come what may. See tomorrow for photos of the weekend.
Have a pleasant week all!
Thursday
Found out in the morning that my Mom is going for surgery on Monday (with a cancellation of the surgeon's). Took the afternoon off of work, picked up Corky and headed out of town to San Francisco to celebrate the occasion of a year together. Checked into the Palace hotel and relaxed for a little while. Went to the Pied Piper for drinks, and then to Source for dinner. dinner was disappointing. The food is what I see as a new trend. Vegetarian and Vegan meals made for a carnivore's palate. Most meals feature soy based meat-like products and their all vegetable dish was just so-so. Corky's was OK for her, but featured a spice that made me a bit gaggy. We left feeling bloated and a bit ill and walked it off for a couple of miles back to the hotel. During the walk, Corky had poop (hopefully dog) splashed onto her pant leg, which was pointed out near a CVS. We bought tissues and hand sanitizer, cleaned her off and continued. It was brisk and I ended up chilled when we got back. After all of that, we chose to just retire to bed, lest additional crappy things happen.
Friday
Our acctual anniversary of our first date. Slept in a bit and headed to the Ferry Building for brunch. It was already 70+ degrees. Had quiche and coffee and a cinnamon roll, all of which were delicious. The quiche was especially amazing. Walked around the building and the street fair and attempted to catch a streetcar headed to the wharf. Two completely jammed cars went by us and we decided to try a taxi. None were near or stopping, all were full already. We and two other people, who were so nice decided to try a water taxi. for $30, they would take all 4 of us to the wharf. OK, so a bit more than the $2 per person for the streetcar, but it was on the water, and not like sardines, sweating in a hot car... We boarded with a cute little family of three, toddler included, and cast off. With the temperature hovering near 85, on the water was the perfect place to be. The ride took about 15 minutes, but he idled us around pier 39's famous sea lions, and Forbes Island, as well as up close to the seaward side of the SS Jeramiah O'Brien and the USS Pampanito. We disembarked closer to the Maritime Museum, and walked the wharf, stopping at the Musée Mécanique, and Pier 39 where I had my ear cartilage re-pierced. Yes it hurts just as much this time as it did the last, making me wonder if I should have just done a different spot... Walked back to the car as it had now cooled to about 75 degrees. Headed back to our side of the bay and stopped at Treasure Island to see the view and find the Doggie Diner heads. Stopped for dinner at our favorite place ever, Mangia Mi. Dinner and dessert were fabulous as always, and despite the 95 degree heat, it was a pleasant evening.
Saturday
The final dual swim meet before championships, and The Boys swam well, beating times in about half of their races. It was over 100 degrees and backstroke suffered as a result of being at the end of the meet. The team did win though, and finished the season undefeated. That was a great result, and now we only have champs next week. We came home, showered and changed and headed to Sis' house for her boyfriend's 50th birthday party. It was fun, and I enjoy his family. Mom was subdued, as expected while thinking of her surgery. My Sister's BF is a really great guy and deserves all the happiness he has brought to Sis and Nephews. We then went to the pool for the annual swim team "sleep" over. Set up our tent and I sat to visit with one of my classmates from 5th grade. I met two other families, one with a husband from Ireland, and the other couple from Scotland. It was great, and they are both so very nice. We sat up drinking and talking, and I finally got The Youngest to go to sleep at midnight, with a warning to The Oldest to not cause any trouble (he didn't). But I awoke with a start at 4:30 to find no trace of The Oldest in the tent. I walked to the other side of the pool grounds to find all of the 15-18's and the managers sitting around visiting, and my 13 year old completely amped up on Coca-cola. One of the young men got him to go to bed by telling him that he wasn't old enough to stay up all night. He groused all the way back to the tent where he fell asleep in under 2 minutes.
Sunday
Woke up at 7:15 a little bleary eyed, packed up and headed home. Went to check on BFF's mom and animals, but her mom decided to stay the weekend, so I have no responsibilities there, which had I known, I would have been slower to get home. Went home and crashed for 5 hours while The Boys vegged out in the heat. When I woke up, Corky was here, we talked and she went home to her air conditioning. We ended up having Frozen Yogurt instead of dinner, because it's hot, we're all tired, and none of us wanted to cook. Early to bed to face tomorrow and the rest of the week, come what may. See tomorrow for photos of the weekend.
Have a pleasant week all!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
A four day weekend for me, and I know Monday morning will come with groans and grousing.
Thursday
Out of the house early to the annual program camp out with The Youngest. It was bittersweet as it was the final camp out for me, and The Oldest chose to stay behind. Corky came too and she enjoyed it. This is the easiest camp out for me as the kids do everything. I miss the person who started the program - this is the first year she did not attend, and I know that next year there will be some whipping people into shape. She admonishes the parents who so much as lift a finger to help. There was a redwood hike or two and the kids put up camp - tents and sleeping arrangements, and made dinner. We had a campfire and s'mores and singing, and it was COLD overnight. I'd brought last year's air mattress, which was too small for Corky and I, so we placed it across for our heads, and it felt like sleeping on a staircase. Needless to say, very little sleep was had between the arrangement of air matress and cold, and then there was the giggling, and snoring and gaseous outbursts.
Friday
Up far too early in search of caffeine. Many cups of coffee later, functioning at near capacity, and we had breakfast, packed everything up and headed to the beach for a marsh hike and beach fun. It was foggy and chilly, but relaxing. Didn't sleep, but should have. Corky slept. Stopped at the goat farm and the bakery, and headed home. Picked up The Oldest, had dinner, showers and bed.
Saturday
Unpacked and laundry, and picked up the dogs while The Boys had a friend over. The Youngest played, but The Oldest had his head in his phone all day. Gave the dogs showers, which they desperately needed. Corky worked opening, and joined us for my Sister's birthday dinner, where there was laughter and tears. I love my Sister and I hope there are many more happy birthdays. Corky was able to spend the night.
Sunday
Slept in, and made french toast out of the cinnamon bread from the bakery (yummy). Picked up a new and correctly sized sleeping bag, along with new work shoes for Corky. Got The Oldest to finish his homework and The Boys went to a preview of a new movie. The liked it, and recommend I see it, when it comes out. I did some grocery shopping and read.
Also, found this song again, tearfully watched it, as I almost always do:
Thursday
Out of the house early to the annual program camp out with The Youngest. It was bittersweet as it was the final camp out for me, and The Oldest chose to stay behind. Corky came too and she enjoyed it. This is the easiest camp out for me as the kids do everything. I miss the person who started the program - this is the first year she did not attend, and I know that next year there will be some whipping people into shape. She admonishes the parents who so much as lift a finger to help. There was a redwood hike or two and the kids put up camp - tents and sleeping arrangements, and made dinner. We had a campfire and s'mores and singing, and it was COLD overnight. I'd brought last year's air mattress, which was too small for Corky and I, so we placed it across for our heads, and it felt like sleeping on a staircase. Needless to say, very little sleep was had between the arrangement of air matress and cold, and then there was the giggling, and snoring and gaseous outbursts.
Friday
Up far too early in search of caffeine. Many cups of coffee later, functioning at near capacity, and we had breakfast, packed everything up and headed to the beach for a marsh hike and beach fun. It was foggy and chilly, but relaxing. Didn't sleep, but should have. Corky slept. Stopped at the goat farm and the bakery, and headed home. Picked up The Oldest, had dinner, showers and bed.
Saturday
Unpacked and laundry, and picked up the dogs while The Boys had a friend over. The Youngest played, but The Oldest had his head in his phone all day. Gave the dogs showers, which they desperately needed. Corky worked opening, and joined us for my Sister's birthday dinner, where there was laughter and tears. I love my Sister and I hope there are many more happy birthdays. Corky was able to spend the night.
Sunday
Slept in, and made french toast out of the cinnamon bread from the bakery (yummy). Picked up a new and correctly sized sleeping bag, along with new work shoes for Corky. Got The Oldest to finish his homework and The Boys went to a preview of a new movie. The liked it, and recommend I see it, when it comes out. I did some grocery shopping and read.
Also, found this song again, tearfully watched it, as I almost always do:
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Another busy weekend, and somehow I feel a bit melancholy at the ending.
Friday
Was in the proverbial dog house most of the day. Corky had spent the night and the morning was actually quite nice. I really did and do miss being able to say goodnight to someone next to me right before going to sleep, and I miss good morning just as much. We discussed plans for later that evening, and it wasn't until I arrived at The Youngest's school that I realized I' already said yes to a girls night in - at another school mom's home. So I reminded Corky, who hadn't ever gotten the date for said evening. We'd discussed the event, but I didn't update her once I had an actual date. She was pissed. Rightfully so, as I did not effectively communicate the final plan. She had Friday and Saturday off work, which meant she could sleep over Friday and we could have a family night. She hung with The Boys, and I went for about 3 hours to the event. It was nice seeing and talking to people I don't get to see or visit with. But the entire evening had a pall cast over it by my feeling guilty for going, or staying any length of time, and I was not able to fully enjoy myself. I felt rushed to get home. I need to work on communication and get used to running things by another person before making plans. Corky stayed the night anyway. Also? Had the ex giving me crap for "forcing" The Oldest to go, but I told them both (because dealing with childishness seems to be a gift) that this is an honor - to be considered one of the few Gentile friends invited.
Saturday
A rather early morning for a weekend and preparations for attending our first Bat Mitzvah. The service was in the morning, and I quite enjoyed the singing, and the Torah passage the friend of The Oldest chose. The Youngest split his time at the ex' and at my sister's. The ex always wants to have first right of refusal to watch The Boys on my weekends, but then actually cannot take them... The Youngest likely would have been happier at an all day play date at another friend's. He did enjoy my sister's and demanded that we go back soon. He did a great job of guilt tripping me (although we will be there on Mother's Day anyway). The dinner and party at night were fun, and the kids loved it. The Oldest had a blast and didn't leave the dance floor except to eat, or as necessitated by the ceremony. It ran until 11:00, but I promised to pick up The Youngest by 9:30, and The Oldest got in trouble for telling anyone who would listen that I was forcing him to leave. Ironic. He now didn't want to leave the party he whined about attending. Completely expected. Highlights included Mine and Corky's first dance at an event with (what I am guessing) mostly straight people. If I remember correctly, Reform Judaism and the Jews I know in particular, have zero religious objection to homosexuality. Everyone I didn't already know were very warm and wonderful (as I would expect from knowing the part of the family that I do).
The Tzedaka
Torah: Leviticus 19:9-10
And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and stranger; I am the Lord your God. (Leviticus 19:9-10) (Note: To glean is to gather the remains of the harvest left after the reapers collect)
I found the interpretation of this by Judaism, the Bat Mitzvah, and the Rabbi to be very interesting and applicable and useful to my life. I appreciated the subtle differences in their understandings, and what it means as young people grow into adults. The Bat Mitzvah added that the Earth does not actually belong to us, and we are the caretakers only. As such, we need to also care for those in need, the stranger and the poor equally. It is a lesson too few take into their hearts and their every day.
Sunday
I woke up early, but went back to sleep following a bathroom break, and was woken by The Boys yelling at one another. I really had expected this, as neither went to bed at a remotely decent hour, and they both had soda, sugar, and junky food all evening. I refereed as long as I could from bed, but came running when The Oldest poked The Youngest in the eye with a pencil. It was an accident, as both attested, I didn't see any lacerations, punctures, or really any redness that would not normally be attributed to crying. So we ice packed the eye in question, and gave it about a half hour to see what it would do. In the mean time, The Oldest felt bad enough to start a complete meltdown, which included (unknown to me) texting the ex and the ex' gf to tell them he felt like shit and hated himself. After I got him calmed down, and The Youngest looked as though he would live, and his eye was fine, and about 30 minutes more of The Boys cleaning their morning mess and playing minecraft, I started getting texts from the ex asking what was going on. I then texted the details back. The ex' gf then texted The Oldest to tell him that they love him and it was all going to be okay...
A half hour after that, got another text from the ex asking how The Youngest's eye was... At that point I was already completely over the day, and it was only noon. So I finally showered and hauled my exhausted ass to grocery shop, leaving instructions with The Boys for things needing to be completed before I returned. I called them as I was leaving the store to tell them that all of those things I asked them to do, had better be done, and this was their 5 minute warning. I returned home to find most of the things were finished, and they did complete the rest when I pointed those out. I cleaned out the fridge and freezer and got some things together to take to Corky's for a BBQ dinner. I folded laundry, and made hummus and croutons for this week, and we headed out. Corky and her roommate were cool, and dinner was delicious. We watched Space Balls, and then Charlotte's Web, and of course I cried at Charlotte's Web - show me a mother who doesn't cry at that movie - I dare you. The Youngest comforted me, while The Oldest went into the kitchen to tell Corky and her roommate that I was already crying and it wasn't even the sad part yet, and could they even believe that! (teen boy typical) Corky came and sat with me and turned off the movie, could sense my sadness and asked about it. I think it really is fatigue from pubescent boys and the constant battles, and PMS, and lack of sleep. It is a combo that has me on the verge of tears even now, when I am crying for absolutely no reason, though as the sadness washes through me, I think of the many sad times of my life, the times of deep regret, and inner turmoil. The times when I failed myself. I know it is cathartic to cry this way now and again, but it bothers the younger cooler part of myself. At the same time, the older and wiser part of myself recognizes the learning I will gain from these experiences.
I need to go to bed. I need to sleep, and I need to rest my weary mind.
Friday
Was in the proverbial dog house most of the day. Corky had spent the night and the morning was actually quite nice. I really did and do miss being able to say goodnight to someone next to me right before going to sleep, and I miss good morning just as much. We discussed plans for later that evening, and it wasn't until I arrived at The Youngest's school that I realized I' already said yes to a girls night in - at another school mom's home. So I reminded Corky, who hadn't ever gotten the date for said evening. We'd discussed the event, but I didn't update her once I had an actual date. She was pissed. Rightfully so, as I did not effectively communicate the final plan. She had Friday and Saturday off work, which meant she could sleep over Friday and we could have a family night. She hung with The Boys, and I went for about 3 hours to the event. It was nice seeing and talking to people I don't get to see or visit with. But the entire evening had a pall cast over it by my feeling guilty for going, or staying any length of time, and I was not able to fully enjoy myself. I felt rushed to get home. I need to work on communication and get used to running things by another person before making plans. Corky stayed the night anyway. Also? Had the ex giving me crap for "forcing" The Oldest to go, but I told them both (because dealing with childishness seems to be a gift) that this is an honor - to be considered one of the few Gentile friends invited.
Saturday
A rather early morning for a weekend and preparations for attending our first Bat Mitzvah. The service was in the morning, and I quite enjoyed the singing, and the Torah passage the friend of The Oldest chose. The Youngest split his time at the ex' and at my sister's. The ex always wants to have first right of refusal to watch The Boys on my weekends, but then actually cannot take them... The Youngest likely would have been happier at an all day play date at another friend's. He did enjoy my sister's and demanded that we go back soon. He did a great job of guilt tripping me (although we will be there on Mother's Day anyway). The dinner and party at night were fun, and the kids loved it. The Oldest had a blast and didn't leave the dance floor except to eat, or as necessitated by the ceremony. It ran until 11:00, but I promised to pick up The Youngest by 9:30, and The Oldest got in trouble for telling anyone who would listen that I was forcing him to leave. Ironic. He now didn't want to leave the party he whined about attending. Completely expected. Highlights included Mine and Corky's first dance at an event with (what I am guessing) mostly straight people. If I remember correctly, Reform Judaism and the Jews I know in particular, have zero religious objection to homosexuality. Everyone I didn't already know were very warm and wonderful (as I would expect from knowing the part of the family that I do).
The Tzedaka
Torah: Leviticus 19:9-10
And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and stranger; I am the Lord your God. (Leviticus 19:9-10) (Note: To glean is to gather the remains of the harvest left after the reapers collect)
I found the interpretation of this by Judaism, the Bat Mitzvah, and the Rabbi to be very interesting and applicable and useful to my life. I appreciated the subtle differences in their understandings, and what it means as young people grow into adults. The Bat Mitzvah added that the Earth does not actually belong to us, and we are the caretakers only. As such, we need to also care for those in need, the stranger and the poor equally. It is a lesson too few take into their hearts and their every day.
Sunday
I woke up early, but went back to sleep following a bathroom break, and was woken by The Boys yelling at one another. I really had expected this, as neither went to bed at a remotely decent hour, and they both had soda, sugar, and junky food all evening. I refereed as long as I could from bed, but came running when The Oldest poked The Youngest in the eye with a pencil. It was an accident, as both attested, I didn't see any lacerations, punctures, or really any redness that would not normally be attributed to crying. So we ice packed the eye in question, and gave it about a half hour to see what it would do. In the mean time, The Oldest felt bad enough to start a complete meltdown, which included (unknown to me) texting the ex and the ex' gf to tell them he felt like shit and hated himself. After I got him calmed down, and The Youngest looked as though he would live, and his eye was fine, and about 30 minutes more of The Boys cleaning their morning mess and playing minecraft, I started getting texts from the ex asking what was going on. I then texted the details back. The ex' gf then texted The Oldest to tell him that they love him and it was all going to be okay...
A half hour after that, got another text from the ex asking how The Youngest's eye was... At that point I was already completely over the day, and it was only noon. So I finally showered and hauled my exhausted ass to grocery shop, leaving instructions with The Boys for things needing to be completed before I returned. I called them as I was leaving the store to tell them that all of those things I asked them to do, had better be done, and this was their 5 minute warning. I returned home to find most of the things were finished, and they did complete the rest when I pointed those out. I cleaned out the fridge and freezer and got some things together to take to Corky's for a BBQ dinner. I folded laundry, and made hummus and croutons for this week, and we headed out. Corky and her roommate were cool, and dinner was delicious. We watched Space Balls, and then Charlotte's Web, and of course I cried at Charlotte's Web - show me a mother who doesn't cry at that movie - I dare you. The Youngest comforted me, while The Oldest went into the kitchen to tell Corky and her roommate that I was already crying and it wasn't even the sad part yet, and could they even believe that! (teen boy typical) Corky came and sat with me and turned off the movie, could sense my sadness and asked about it. I think it really is fatigue from pubescent boys and the constant battles, and PMS, and lack of sleep. It is a combo that has me on the verge of tears even now, when I am crying for absolutely no reason, though as the sadness washes through me, I think of the many sad times of my life, the times of deep regret, and inner turmoil. The times when I failed myself. I know it is cathartic to cry this way now and again, but it bothers the younger cooler part of myself. At the same time, the older and wiser part of myself recognizes the learning I will gain from these experiences.
I need to go to bed. I need to sleep, and I need to rest my weary mind.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Disneyland pics (finally)
I've been busy (as you already know), but I did upload photos from Disneyland. And yes, I did tie dye the shirts :-)
Monday, March 24, 2014
Monday
Monday Monday can't trust that day
Ever had one of those days when all you want to do is go back to bed and cry yourself to sleep - that was my day today. Nothing particularly bad happened today. It was by all accounts a fairly average Monday. No kids wanted to go to school. There were some tears. I could have kept that kid home today, but he was not going to be productive here, and neither was I. He'd not slept very well, and was in my bed from 2am onward, making neither of us sleep well at all. This morning's tears were not manufactured, but rather born of lack of sleep and fear of punishment from teachers. I had to make two morning trips to the elementary school because of a forgotten book, and one trip to drive a friend home sick from high school. Corky lovingly brought me lunch, which was great, but I was pretty tired and worn out already by then. The afternoon wasn't much better. two trips to the elementary school because that kid had to stay late to complete work. While I was waiting unessesarily the first time, UPS tried to deliver my camera replacement - for the second time. I am shooting tomorrow night and need to charge the battery before then. I can't pick it up before 11:30, so that is when I will be there. The Oldest called from middle school three times trying to get out of math homework club. The first story was he has no homework, but when I said I'd be checking the homework site, he decided to stay. The second was to say he finished that already (5 minutes), and didn't have missing assignments. The third was to tell me he didn't know what the missing assignemtns were. I helpfully read them off to him, reminded him to check his folder, as I know he did at lease two of those while in my presence. Corky works closing today and open tomorrow, which means I won't see her until after work tomorrow and I miss her. The aamount of stuff I have to do in a short amount of time is weighing me down.
Ever had one of those days when all you want to do is go back to bed and cry yourself to sleep - that was my day today. Nothing particularly bad happened today. It was by all accounts a fairly average Monday. No kids wanted to go to school. There were some tears. I could have kept that kid home today, but he was not going to be productive here, and neither was I. He'd not slept very well, and was in my bed from 2am onward, making neither of us sleep well at all. This morning's tears were not manufactured, but rather born of lack of sleep and fear of punishment from teachers. I had to make two morning trips to the elementary school because of a forgotten book, and one trip to drive a friend home sick from high school. Corky lovingly brought me lunch, which was great, but I was pretty tired and worn out already by then. The afternoon wasn't much better. two trips to the elementary school because that kid had to stay late to complete work. While I was waiting unessesarily the first time, UPS tried to deliver my camera replacement - for the second time. I am shooting tomorrow night and need to charge the battery before then. I can't pick it up before 11:30, so that is when I will be there. The Oldest called from middle school three times trying to get out of math homework club. The first story was he has no homework, but when I said I'd be checking the homework site, he decided to stay. The second was to say he finished that already (5 minutes), and didn't have missing assignments. The third was to tell me he didn't know what the missing assignemtns were. I helpfully read them off to him, reminded him to check his folder, as I know he did at lease two of those while in my presence. Corky works closing today and open tomorrow, which means I won't see her until after work tomorrow and I miss her. The aamount of stuff I have to do in a short amount of time is weighing me down.
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Here we are mere days away from moving house. I didn't have The Boys this weekend, and my plans were to pack up everything I was not going to need in the next two weeks.
Friday
Worked in the classroom in the afternoon. The 4th and 5th graders worked on charcoal still life, and the 5th graders (after being with me for nearly two years for art), are doing especially great work. After school I did some work at home and then met up with a friend to walk around the middle school track for the purpose of raising money for Kanzius cancer research. One of the middle school students recently passed away from cancer and the students came up with this as a way to take action in a situation where they feel out of control. It was a good walk and a great visit with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. After the walk, I went to Corky's for dinner. I feel like I hadn't seen her for a really long time. We'd seen each other for a short time every day, but hadn't been able to spend any significant time together. It was very nice to just be with her. I left early so that she could get enough sleep for work in the morning. I came home and watched TV while the dogs wound down. I ended up in bed early for me.
Saturday
Slept in for a bit, had a decent breakfast and packed up all of the video games and movies. Pulled everything off of my bedroom walls and patched all of the nail holes. Also moved boxes from upstairs down to the garage. Worked on a wedding book and the shirts for the medieval fair for The Oldest. Took a shower, and headed to Corky's for dinner, cuddle time and a sleep over. Spent all night with her and it was so nice.
Sunday
Slept in and Corky made me a delicious breakfast. We got our act together and headed to my place to tie dye our matching shirts for when we are in Disneyland. They turned out amazing for the first stage. One more stage should finish them. But have to wait until it is sunny again (Monday). We then went shopping for some summer clothes for us and The Boys. Late lunch and to Corky's Pop's to check on him. Back home to wait for The Boys and then dinner. It was a great day and a half together. I really do love this woman. She makes me feel beautiful and amazing. I treasure spending time with her just doing normal every day things. Being able to go shopping and sitting around watching TV and eating everyday meals. We don't spend that kind of time together, and when we do I really enjoy it.
Hope you all have a terrific week!
Friday
Worked in the classroom in the afternoon. The 4th and 5th graders worked on charcoal still life, and the 5th graders (after being with me for nearly two years for art), are doing especially great work. After school I did some work at home and then met up with a friend to walk around the middle school track for the purpose of raising money for Kanzius cancer research. One of the middle school students recently passed away from cancer and the students came up with this as a way to take action in a situation where they feel out of control. It was a good walk and a great visit with a friend I hadn't seen in a while. After the walk, I went to Corky's for dinner. I feel like I hadn't seen her for a really long time. We'd seen each other for a short time every day, but hadn't been able to spend any significant time together. It was very nice to just be with her. I left early so that she could get enough sleep for work in the morning. I came home and watched TV while the dogs wound down. I ended up in bed early for me.
Saturday
Slept in for a bit, had a decent breakfast and packed up all of the video games and movies. Pulled everything off of my bedroom walls and patched all of the nail holes. Also moved boxes from upstairs down to the garage. Worked on a wedding book and the shirts for the medieval fair for The Oldest. Took a shower, and headed to Corky's for dinner, cuddle time and a sleep over. Spent all night with her and it was so nice.
Sunday
Slept in and Corky made me a delicious breakfast. We got our act together and headed to my place to tie dye our matching shirts for when we are in Disneyland. They turned out amazing for the first stage. One more stage should finish them. But have to wait until it is sunny again (Monday). We then went shopping for some summer clothes for us and The Boys. Late lunch and to Corky's Pop's to check on him. Back home to wait for The Boys and then dinner. It was a great day and a half together. I really do love this woman. She makes me feel beautiful and amazing. I treasure spending time with her just doing normal every day things. Being able to go shopping and sitting around watching TV and eating everyday meals. We don't spend that kind of time together, and when we do I really enjoy it.
Hope you all have a terrific week!
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Tableau Tuesday
Still haven't replaced my camera (waiting on the insurance check), so these are all from the phone, and some have been through in phone or instagram editing. All shot this weekend, during The Youngest's Birthday celebrations:
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Monday, March 10, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up - There was a Birthday involved
Busy weekend, full of activity
Friday
The Youngest arrived at 7:30a having barfed twice already. He spent the first 20 minutes barfing and dry heaving. I called him in sick at school, and set him up on the couch where he spent the day dozing on and off, sipping water and nibbling on toast. By the time he went to bed he was still a bit tired, but feeling better. I worked all day, and fielded questions from my friends on whether the birthday party would still happen. I held off on that call to see how he did in the morning. Also, had my BFF go behind my back to invite one of The Oldest's friends to her house on a night she was supposed to be here with The Boys and the bff's son - now that I'm pissed off about this and the last interaction with her son, I'm saying bff instead of BFF. She could have said she didn't want her son here, or whatever, but I think it was a play to get closer to the other mom and dad. whatev.
Saturday
The Youngest completely recovered and we got ready for the epic Nerf War of 2014. Twelve kids, 24+ Nerf guns, 300 Nerf darts and 4 hours in the park. The Boys organized the whole thing, the weather cooperated at 73 degrees, and I supplied food, drinks and darts. Corky came to help at the beginning before work, and another friend stopped by, monopolizing our time, and annoying us a bit. Corky left in a mood from that and from feeling left out when the parents came to drop their kids off. I still need to be thoughtful when dealing with acquaintances who have all met her, but I didn't include her in the conversations... The kids had a blast. They didn't want to stop to eat, have cake or open presents, which kind of pissed off The Birthday Boy. We stopped to spend the gift cards on the way home on.... Nerf. At home, I cleaned the garage / man cave and made room for stacking boxes that I have and will be packing. I left The Boys at home and went to a girls night out to celebrate my dear friend who recently moved, and into whose house we will be moving. That was fun - just to be out again. Corky and I have been staying in to save $$ for Disneyland and the move. Home and early bed time for me.
Sunday
Slept in and felt really good. Wished The Youngest Happy Birthday via The Beatles, had chocolate bread pudding for breakfast, and got to work on the backyard with The Boys. We picked up all of the leaves, trimmed the roses, and took down the trellis. Felt really great to sweat a little and get something done while the weather is good. I was thinking of packing, but can do that even in rain later this week. We needed to clean up the yard. The Boys were a huge help, and it makes me glad that they are getting older. I only opened one gash on my calve, and we found our best working situation, which was me not using the clippers, but the lopper, while one kid help open the bag and the other picked up what I was cutting. Got a shower, took some ibuprofen and headed out to spend more of the gift cards with The Youngest. He ended up buying a gift for his brother, who was so happy about it. Corky came over and we headed to my folks' for family birthday dinner. There was another Nerf war with the cousins, which ended with The Oldest in tears (just like every year). There was Mexican Train Dominoes, and laughter, and a go around the table with each of us saying what we love about The Youngest while he sat and giggled. I love that kid.
Friday
The Youngest arrived at 7:30a having barfed twice already. He spent the first 20 minutes barfing and dry heaving. I called him in sick at school, and set him up on the couch where he spent the day dozing on and off, sipping water and nibbling on toast. By the time he went to bed he was still a bit tired, but feeling better. I worked all day, and fielded questions from my friends on whether the birthday party would still happen. I held off on that call to see how he did in the morning. Also, had my BFF go behind my back to invite one of The Oldest's friends to her house on a night she was supposed to be here with The Boys and the bff's son - now that I'm pissed off about this and the last interaction with her son, I'm saying bff instead of BFF. She could have said she didn't want her son here, or whatever, but I think it was a play to get closer to the other mom and dad. whatev.
Saturday
The Youngest completely recovered and we got ready for the epic Nerf War of 2014. Twelve kids, 24+ Nerf guns, 300 Nerf darts and 4 hours in the park. The Boys organized the whole thing, the weather cooperated at 73 degrees, and I supplied food, drinks and darts. Corky came to help at the beginning before work, and another friend stopped by, monopolizing our time, and annoying us a bit. Corky left in a mood from that and from feeling left out when the parents came to drop their kids off. I still need to be thoughtful when dealing with acquaintances who have all met her, but I didn't include her in the conversations... The kids had a blast. They didn't want to stop to eat, have cake or open presents, which kind of pissed off The Birthday Boy. We stopped to spend the gift cards on the way home on.... Nerf. At home, I cleaned the garage / man cave and made room for stacking boxes that I have and will be packing. I left The Boys at home and went to a girls night out to celebrate my dear friend who recently moved, and into whose house we will be moving. That was fun - just to be out again. Corky and I have been staying in to save $$ for Disneyland and the move. Home and early bed time for me.
Sunday
Slept in and felt really good. Wished The Youngest Happy Birthday via The Beatles, had chocolate bread pudding for breakfast, and got to work on the backyard with The Boys. We picked up all of the leaves, trimmed the roses, and took down the trellis. Felt really great to sweat a little and get something done while the weather is good. I was thinking of packing, but can do that even in rain later this week. We needed to clean up the yard. The Boys were a huge help, and it makes me glad that they are getting older. I only opened one gash on my calve, and we found our best working situation, which was me not using the clippers, but the lopper, while one kid help open the bag and the other picked up what I was cutting. Got a shower, took some ibuprofen and headed out to spend more of the gift cards with The Youngest. He ended up buying a gift for his brother, who was so happy about it. Corky came over and we headed to my folks' for family birthday dinner. There was another Nerf war with the cousins, which ended with The Oldest in tears (just like every year). There was Mexican Train Dominoes, and laughter, and a go around the table with each of us saying what we love about The Youngest while he sat and giggled. I love that kid.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
A full weekend, with little time to write, without sacrificing time spent on other pursuits.
Friday
Corky had the day off and picked The Oldest up from school, bought him lunch and brought him to The Youngest's school where I was teaching art. We worked on negative space studies, and the kids did well. It can be a difficult concept for a high schooler, and the 5th years whom I worked with last year got it pretty well. The 4th's took a bit longer to grasp the concept, but did admirably. The ex returned from another vacation, and picked up The Boys after school. I was able to spend some time alone with Corky in celebration of 6 months together :-) It has been a good six months, with many adventures, and there is still more to discover about one another that I am looking forward to.
Saturday
The Boys went to start homework only to discover that I'd left their backpacks and jackets at the Elementary school, in the office... There was much hand wringing and wailing (this was after the initial wailing over having homework on a weekend to begin with). I was able to get a hold of one of the school secretaries (a friend), and she brought it all over while running errands. We had lunch and a Nerf war with one of The Boys' friends, and my bff. Did some grocery shopping, and tested the aquarium water (which is fine) and so we restocked the fish - 5 flame tetras. Spent the evening working on the wedding book, and got a significant portion complete. When I couldn't look at the computer any longer, I completed The Oldest's knit glove. Went to repair the first glove (that the puppy chewed up), and discovered that the extent of the destruction is beyond my abilities to repair. Began the first of 10 balaclavas I have to knit for The Youngest's birthday in six weeks. Mucked it up and had to pull the first three rows and decided to just go to bed...
Sunday
Got up and went to brunch with my sister, her oldest and her boyfriend. Food was yummy and The Boys were happy to see everyone. Came home, fought over homework, but got it completed. Restarted the balaclava, this time I did ok on the join. Went to see a 20 piece big band, and took the knitting, which was perfect. The yarn store is near where we were, so stopped in to get more yarn for The Oldest's glove redo, and a couple of baby hats for Corky's expected grand nephew. Corky was having a bad afternoon at work, so we surprise visited her for hugs all around, and The Boys got some treats. Came home and The Boys planned the birthday party while I knit and worked on the wedding book some more.
Friday
Corky had the day off and picked The Oldest up from school, bought him lunch and brought him to The Youngest's school where I was teaching art. We worked on negative space studies, and the kids did well. It can be a difficult concept for a high schooler, and the 5th years whom I worked with last year got it pretty well. The 4th's took a bit longer to grasp the concept, but did admirably. The ex returned from another vacation, and picked up The Boys after school. I was able to spend some time alone with Corky in celebration of 6 months together :-) It has been a good six months, with many adventures, and there is still more to discover about one another that I am looking forward to.
Saturday
The Boys went to start homework only to discover that I'd left their backpacks and jackets at the Elementary school, in the office... There was much hand wringing and wailing (this was after the initial wailing over having homework on a weekend to begin with). I was able to get a hold of one of the school secretaries (a friend), and she brought it all over while running errands. We had lunch and a Nerf war with one of The Boys' friends, and my bff. Did some grocery shopping, and tested the aquarium water (which is fine) and so we restocked the fish - 5 flame tetras. Spent the evening working on the wedding book, and got a significant portion complete. When I couldn't look at the computer any longer, I completed The Oldest's knit glove. Went to repair the first glove (that the puppy chewed up), and discovered that the extent of the destruction is beyond my abilities to repair. Began the first of 10 balaclavas I have to knit for The Youngest's birthday in six weeks. Mucked it up and had to pull the first three rows and decided to just go to bed...
Sunday
Got up and went to brunch with my sister, her oldest and her boyfriend. Food was yummy and The Boys were happy to see everyone. Came home, fought over homework, but got it completed. Restarted the balaclava, this time I did ok on the join. Went to see a 20 piece big band, and took the knitting, which was perfect. The yarn store is near where we were, so stopped in to get more yarn for The Oldest's glove redo, and a couple of baby hats for Corky's expected grand nephew. Corky was having a bad afternoon at work, so we surprise visited her for hugs all around, and The Boys got some treats. Came home and The Boys planned the birthday party while I knit and worked on the wedding book some more.
Tuesday, January 21, 2014
Tuesday Morning Holiday Weekend Wrap Up
A fairly relaxing weekend for the most part.
Friday
Picked up The Youngest at 5th grade science camp. I'd really missed him for the three days and nights he was gone. We spent the afternoon together, but he had no voice (one assumes from screaming and yelling), and wiped out from (as he claims) 3 hours of sleep a night because one of the chaperones snores like a freight train. He did say he had fun. I was concerned as the week leading up to camp was full of emotional turmoil for him in particular. There were many disappointments and tears as he handled those. The oldest came home, and both were picked up by the ex for the weekend.
Corky and I (and 5 of our friends) went to the city to see The Book of Mormon after a diner dinner. Food was yummy and the musical was AWESOME! I spent the rest of the weekend with the music running through my head. I grew up in a home behind a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There were Mormons in my neighborhood. Now, my kids are friends with Mormon kids at school, and they are all very nice people. I have spoken to a number of my Mormon acquaintances and I truly believe they think I'm ok (as much as I think they are). They all know that I have a girlfriend, and none seem to have issue with that, regardless of the fact that they all sported yes on 8 stickers and lawn signs during that election. They did so without questioning the direction of their church, while I think everyone should question what authorities tell them. Could be why I am not a member of a particular religion or church. We got home super late and camped out on the living room floor.
Saturday
Woke up with Corky beside me (AWESOME). Because I hadn't done any grocery shopping, we had to leave the house to eat. We headed to a great nearby breakfast place, then to a nearby town's main street / antique area. We wandered the afternoon through every shop there, and almost found the one thing we were actually looking for - a small black plastic ecko spatula (like the one below left). We did see a similar one, but with a handle like the one below right.
Friday
Picked up The Youngest at 5th grade science camp. I'd really missed him for the three days and nights he was gone. We spent the afternoon together, but he had no voice (one assumes from screaming and yelling), and wiped out from (as he claims) 3 hours of sleep a night because one of the chaperones snores like a freight train. He did say he had fun. I was concerned as the week leading up to camp was full of emotional turmoil for him in particular. There were many disappointments and tears as he handled those. The oldest came home, and both were picked up by the ex for the weekend.
Corky and I (and 5 of our friends) went to the city to see The Book of Mormon after a diner dinner. Food was yummy and the musical was AWESOME! I spent the rest of the weekend with the music running through my head. I grew up in a home behind a Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. There were Mormons in my neighborhood. Now, my kids are friends with Mormon kids at school, and they are all very nice people. I have spoken to a number of my Mormon acquaintances and I truly believe they think I'm ok (as much as I think they are). They all know that I have a girlfriend, and none seem to have issue with that, regardless of the fact that they all sported yes on 8 stickers and lawn signs during that election. They did so without questioning the direction of their church, while I think everyone should question what authorities tell them. Could be why I am not a member of a particular religion or church. We got home super late and camped out on the living room floor.
Saturday
Woke up with Corky beside me (AWESOME). Because I hadn't done any grocery shopping, we had to leave the house to eat. We headed to a great nearby breakfast place, then to a nearby town's main street / antique area. We wandered the afternoon through every shop there, and almost found the one thing we were actually looking for - a small black plastic ecko spatula (like the one below left). We did see a similar one, but with a handle like the one below right.
We stopped by my folks' place to visit and see the progress on their lanai, and the new wall color in the family room. It was a nice visit, and I think we will take my mom the next time we go antiquing. We went to dinner, small grocery trip (for provisions), and headed home for another night on the floor. I do need to clarify that we were on the futon which was on the floor. The dogs enjoyed cuddling with us until their bed time, and it was comfortable, though particularly low to get into and out of.
Sunday
Woke up and made french toast and veggie sausage for breakfast, and cuddled in bed to watch movies. Great lazy Sunday morning before Corky had to go to work. Spent the rest of the day doing laundry, working on the October wedding album, trimming the palm trees, painting my toenails, and vegging out.
Monday
More laundry while working. Even though this is a national holiday for many, my company is run by old white guys, so no day off in observance of Martin Luther King Jr. Day. When I started, we did get the day off in observance. It was removed, and we still had President's Day. Many people complained in an attempt to get an observance day back, but instead, the company also took away President's Day... We still do get the following days off as Holidays: New Year's Day; Memorial Day; Independence Day; Labor Day; Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day. I can't really complain. I've been there long enough to have those, plus 28 additional days off throughout the year. I could take today off, and have in the past. Right now, I am saving my vacation days for Disneyland and field trips with The Boys. Corky spent the day at home with her roommate and their dog, stopping by before work. Feeling bleh today - have more to do than there is time. Bought a couple of knitting pattern for Corky's grand nephew due in a few months. Went grocery shopping in anticipation for The Boys spending the next week+ at home. Vegged for a bit, had dinner, and knit.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up - update at end
Things have been particularly stressful and trying in my personal life lately, so this weekend was spent trying to relax.
Friday
School district meeting and teaching art. Was exhausted when it was all said and done. The Boys both had a ton of homework coming into the weekend. Spent the afternoon getting them to working on that. Corky was over for dinner and all of us played dominoes until bed time.
Saturday
Laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. That was following sleeping for 11 hours because I clearly needed the rest. Spent time contemplating the greater questions of life, and white privilege. Also spent time getting The Boys to do more homework, corrected the math work and there were some corrections to be made. The Oldest organized his folders and binders and practiced trombone. The Youngest finished his math homework and wrote a book report. He also read half of another book in preparation for another book report. There are 25 of these due in May, and he has had the entire school year to do them, but has not done so.
Sunday
More laundry and packing The Youngest for 5th grade camp this upcoming week. The Youngest finished the second book, and book report. Felt really meh all morning because I have so much to do and little time to do any of it. Edited more of the recent wedding photos and tried to get the proofs off to the couple, and upload the October wedding photos to the book software. While the newest newlyweds decide on the proofs, I will be completing the wedding book for the October wedding. I need to pick up more jeans for The Oldest, as the majority of the 8 pairs I have already purchased have now been left at the ex's... I love stocking two separate places with double the clothes for The Boys... Corky came over for dinner, but even that was tinged with a pall. She wasn't in a good mood, and I wasn't either. The boys were their usual selves, and she wished they'd spent time outdoors today, while I was happy they finished their work and allowed me to do the photo work I needed. I almost wanted to just hole myself up and finish the photos, but then I feel bad about not putting time toward our relationship, or toward The Boys. Which leaves me now at 10pm working photos, and possibly past midnight, which then places me in a bad mood from lack of sleep... Vicious cycle.
Well, Monday starts an entirely new week, full of potential for fun and engaging relationships. I do worry that Corky is not prepared for joining a life with two adolescent boys, and their neurotic mother. I am their only mother. I make the decisions. I do not want to have to be the intermediary between My Sons, and my girlfriend. The Boys will always come first, and I am too old and tired to play any games around that. I am not going to over analyze this, but it does make me think about how that would all work. I don't expect her to totally roll over and let them run her down, but I also am the last word on anything related to them.
Malaise and ennui. Meh.
Update:
Woke up this morning realizing I need to actually talk to Corky about some important things (if we are going to move forward in our relationship). Things like my home being the one place where I want The Boys to feel safe in expressing themselves, good, bad and everything in between. That is my job; to help them navigate their understanding of the world around them, and let them know what is acceptable in public. Our home is not public, and there is a certain level of casualness that goes along with being at home. The Boys are more comfortable with having Corky around, so now the nice and courteous behavior is gone, replaced by what I experience all the time - the crass and smelly behavior of boys. They are still my loving and caring children, but they are also forging their way in the world of "man up" being a thing, and playing up for a laugh.
Friday
School district meeting and teaching art. Was exhausted when it was all said and done. The Boys both had a ton of homework coming into the weekend. Spent the afternoon getting them to working on that. Corky was over for dinner and all of us played dominoes until bed time.
Saturday
Laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. That was following sleeping for 11 hours because I clearly needed the rest. Spent time contemplating the greater questions of life, and white privilege. Also spent time getting The Boys to do more homework, corrected the math work and there were some corrections to be made. The Oldest organized his folders and binders and practiced trombone. The Youngest finished his math homework and wrote a book report. He also read half of another book in preparation for another book report. There are 25 of these due in May, and he has had the entire school year to do them, but has not done so.
Sunday
More laundry and packing The Youngest for 5th grade camp this upcoming week. The Youngest finished the second book, and book report. Felt really meh all morning because I have so much to do and little time to do any of it. Edited more of the recent wedding photos and tried to get the proofs off to the couple, and upload the October wedding photos to the book software. While the newest newlyweds decide on the proofs, I will be completing the wedding book for the October wedding. I need to pick up more jeans for The Oldest, as the majority of the 8 pairs I have already purchased have now been left at the ex's... I love stocking two separate places with double the clothes for The Boys... Corky came over for dinner, but even that was tinged with a pall. She wasn't in a good mood, and I wasn't either. The boys were their usual selves, and she wished they'd spent time outdoors today, while I was happy they finished their work and allowed me to do the photo work I needed. I almost wanted to just hole myself up and finish the photos, but then I feel bad about not putting time toward our relationship, or toward The Boys. Which leaves me now at 10pm working photos, and possibly past midnight, which then places me in a bad mood from lack of sleep... Vicious cycle.
Well, Monday starts an entirely new week, full of potential for fun and engaging relationships. I do worry that Corky is not prepared for joining a life with two adolescent boys, and their neurotic mother. I am their only mother. I make the decisions. I do not want to have to be the intermediary between My Sons, and my girlfriend. The Boys will always come first, and I am too old and tired to play any games around that. I am not going to over analyze this, but it does make me think about how that would all work. I don't expect her to totally roll over and let them run her down, but I also am the last word on anything related to them.
Malaise and ennui. Meh.
Update:
Woke up this morning realizing I need to actually talk to Corky about some important things (if we are going to move forward in our relationship). Things like my home being the one place where I want The Boys to feel safe in expressing themselves, good, bad and everything in between. That is my job; to help them navigate their understanding of the world around them, and let them know what is acceptable in public. Our home is not public, and there is a certain level of casualness that goes along with being at home. The Boys are more comfortable with having Corky around, so now the nice and courteous behavior is gone, replaced by what I experience all the time - the crass and smelly behavior of boys. They are still my loving and caring children, but they are also forging their way in the world of "man up" being a thing, and playing up for a laugh.
Monday, December 30, 2013
Monday Morning Holiday Wrap Up
Get it, Holiday WRAP up? HAHAHAHAHA - Maybe I'm punchy from the egg nog, or still in a sugar coma from all the treats...
Christmas
The Boys came home Christmas Eve, talking about all the awesome gifts they received at the ex's. I'm glad they enjoyed themselves. Corky was having such a rough time about the holidays, then to have The Boys kind of ignore her, and then talk non-stop about the ex. It was upsetting to her and she left angry. I cried for hours. I need to work on not letting other people's moods impact me that heavily...I didn't get to bed until 1:00 am, and The Youngest woke up at 2:00, but was able to go back to sleep until 3:30, and hold off on waking his brother and me until 5:30. I talked them into climbing into bed with me so I could sleep until 7:00. Once up, we opened presents, Corky came over and we opened the rest. We parted to get ready for the day. The Boys and I went to my folks' with Sis, her BF, ad the nephews. My Aunt was there for a bit as well and it was a nice and relaxing day. Left there and went to Corky's Sister's. That was fun, but The Boys and I were not our best, being as tired as we were. Stayed for dessert & coffee and then home and to bed.
Thursday and Friday (this is where things are running all together)
Recovering and eating crap all day. The Boys played with their new stuff and I had the worst cramps of my life and felt like I was going to pass out. Ended up sleeping for a majority of the day and had salad for dinner, hoping to stave off scurvy, and the extra holiday weight. Corky worked closing shift, but was over early to make sure I was ok and make lunch for The Boys while I slept with the hot water bottle. I had a meetup to host, but only stayed an hour before returning home to sleep. Finally went through all of the important mail that's been sitting around. The bills aren't as bad as I'd feared, but with the need for a new catalytic converter next month, things will be tight. Cleaned up a bit and discovered a virus on the new computer Santa brought...Figured out it was a minecraft "mod" download from The Youngest...
Saturday
Corky had the day off and we were able to spend it together. We took The Boys to a local park for a picnic lunch and they played and drove their RC trucks around. We also went to a party at one of the cool school mom's homes, with a bunch of other cool school parents. Lots of food, beer, champagne punch and kids running wild. It was great. Corky had fun too.
Sunday
The Boys had a baby powder fight on and around my car on Thursday? Friday? You know you've been off work too long when the days melt into one another. So they washed my car. Did a decent job, but like life itself, they need more practice. Went to the rehearsal for the wedding I'm shooting on Monday. Had forgotten that the ex is officiating. He asked if Corky was coming to the wedding. She isn't. She has to work, and she wasn't invited. I don't think she wants to be there, even if she were, as these are all of the ex's friends, or friends we had as a couple, who he still has as a couple with his gf. It makes interactions awkward, especially considering the non-finalization of the divorce... The four of us went to see Zoo Lights and it was cold. Nice to look at, but The Oldest thought we'd see the animals, and The Youngest wanted a light up sword. I thought there would be more lights, and Corky was cold. It was fine, but I would have almost preferred to cuddle on the couch with a movie.
Christmas
The Boys came home Christmas Eve, talking about all the awesome gifts they received at the ex's. I'm glad they enjoyed themselves. Corky was having such a rough time about the holidays, then to have The Boys kind of ignore her, and then talk non-stop about the ex. It was upsetting to her and she left angry. I cried for hours. I need to work on not letting other people's moods impact me that heavily...I didn't get to bed until 1:00 am, and The Youngest woke up at 2:00, but was able to go back to sleep until 3:30, and hold off on waking his brother and me until 5:30. I talked them into climbing into bed with me so I could sleep until 7:00. Once up, we opened presents, Corky came over and we opened the rest. We parted to get ready for the day. The Boys and I went to my folks' with Sis, her BF, ad the nephews. My Aunt was there for a bit as well and it was a nice and relaxing day. Left there and went to Corky's Sister's. That was fun, but The Boys and I were not our best, being as tired as we were. Stayed for dessert & coffee and then home and to bed.
Thursday and Friday (this is where things are running all together)
Recovering and eating crap all day. The Boys played with their new stuff and I had the worst cramps of my life and felt like I was going to pass out. Ended up sleeping for a majority of the day and had salad for dinner, hoping to stave off scurvy, and the extra holiday weight. Corky worked closing shift, but was over early to make sure I was ok and make lunch for The Boys while I slept with the hot water bottle. I had a meetup to host, but only stayed an hour before returning home to sleep. Finally went through all of the important mail that's been sitting around. The bills aren't as bad as I'd feared, but with the need for a new catalytic converter next month, things will be tight. Cleaned up a bit and discovered a virus on the new computer Santa brought...Figured out it was a minecraft "mod" download from The Youngest...
Saturday
Corky had the day off and we were able to spend it together. We took The Boys to a local park for a picnic lunch and they played and drove their RC trucks around. We also went to a party at one of the cool school mom's homes, with a bunch of other cool school parents. Lots of food, beer, champagne punch and kids running wild. It was great. Corky had fun too.
Sunday
The Boys had a baby powder fight on and around my car on Thursday? Friday? You know you've been off work too long when the days melt into one another. So they washed my car. Did a decent job, but like life itself, they need more practice. Went to the rehearsal for the wedding I'm shooting on Monday. Had forgotten that the ex is officiating. He asked if Corky was coming to the wedding. She isn't. She has to work, and she wasn't invited. I don't think she wants to be there, even if she were, as these are all of the ex's friends, or friends we had as a couple, who he still has as a couple with his gf. It makes interactions awkward, especially considering the non-finalization of the divorce... The four of us went to see Zoo Lights and it was cold. Nice to look at, but The Oldest thought we'd see the animals, and The Youngest wanted a light up sword. I thought there would be more lights, and Corky was cold. It was fine, but I would have almost preferred to cuddle on the couch with a movie.
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Thoughtful Thursday
Love and hug those around you while you can.
Today I am asking for positive vibes, prayers, good energy, a thought or a wish for my dad. He still is in the hospital. What is normally a rather routine gallbladder removal has become a difficult event for him to overcome. He has been beset by complications from the get go. His current state of health is just one of the many issues he will continue to have to overcome. I would love to have him happy and healthy and home for the holidays. Today is not that day. Today he continues to build strength, to get back on solid foods, stay awake long enough to improve his breathing, and get off antibiotics. Our family has postponed a holiday meal, and some of today will be spent bedside with my parents.
I am grateful for the time I do have with them, even when we disagree. They shaped me into the person I am, and helped me become who I am meant to be. I repay this by being the most me I can, by teaching my children to love and care. I know ultimately this will all resolve itself, and I have Corky reminding me of that as well.
Be grateful for the people who love you. I know I am.
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