This has been a hell of a day, in a hell of a week. This week has seen several people who swore they'd help me back out. This week has had my ability to continue to do my job sliced off without so much as a "good luck asshole". During a meeting last night, I agreed to send an e-mail bulletin to the middle school parents begging for volunteers, which I was too tired to do at the time.
Today was what really took the cake though. I was called yesterday by the middle school nurse and asked to work scoliosis screening. I said sure, then asked my boss if I could take the day as my community service day. Since I can literally no longer do my job effectively, she agreed. I forgot I had therapy at 2:00. The screening went until 3:00, and in hindsight, I could have just gone, as there were just a few students left to screen at 1:45. I rescheduled therapy to 5:00, and made a dinner date with Corky. Corky and I have spent hardly any time together this week. She's still sick, and dog and house sat again. I had meetings, The Boys had homework. I was looking forward to a quiet dinner for the two of us. At 2:00 I received a text from the ex asking if I could pick The Boys up from school. I agreed (since I was already there and all). He then said he would let me know later when he would pick them up as his gf is out of town & he was going to be stuck on a job for a while. I let him know I had a 5:00 appointment & he replied that he didn't think he'd be by before then. Brought The Boys home and had them doing homework while Corky hung out and they whined that they would rather do it at their father's. I checked their work, made some corrective suggestions & got in another argument about what the assignment actually was. I sent another text to the ex reminding him that The Oldest was playing with the jazz band during the talent show, and he has the needed shirt. I said I could take The Boys to the gig, but I needed the shirt by 7:00. I left for therapy, where my therapist told me I need to find time to walk, or meditate - basically take better care of myself - and say no more often. On my way back, at 6:00, I sent another text to the ex asking if he was going to be able to make it to my house with the shirt by 7:00 (where he lives is 30 minutes in each direction). He said no, but would try to make the performance. Back home, pile The Boys into the car in a rush, say good-bye to Corky after she said she thought the talent show last year was horrible (and she was angry that our plans were upended). I shook my head and told her not to say that in front of the kids (mostly because that is exactly the reaction the ex has about these things). I bought The Boys fast food for dinner as they hadn't eaten while I was gone (I hate fast food), drove to the ex's and back and stayed at the talent show until it ended at 9:00. I still hadn't sent the e-mail, and I am so grateful that my VP did it for me. By the time I got The Boys showered and in bed it was after 10:00. I am so wiped out and just need to sleep - hopefully not to awaken at 1:15 like last night and stay up for 90 minutes. Sending thoughts to the universe that the morning will sail smoothly.
Not sure if I feel better now having written it all down, but at least it isn't still in my head...
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tired. Show all posts
Friday, February 6, 2015
Monday, February 2, 2015
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
This was supposed to be a lay low and relaxing kind of weekend, and it only kind of was. Corky was sick, starting Wednesday night, and the cold carried into the weekend. I didn't think we were going to see each other at all, but we did, and that helped me to be less stressed out. I hate being home alone, without Corky and The Boys at night.
Friday
After school, I picked up The Boys, took them to their old elementary school to drop off some clay for the kiln. The Youngest had presented his Egypt project in the morning, and it involved people creating cartouches in clay. Dropped The Boys at their father's and came home to turn around and go play bingo with some friends. I had no idea how late bingo ran. I didn't win, not anything, but it was mostly fun. I was on the end of the row, and missed out on too much conversation. After bingo, a few of us went to a really late dinner with lots of post party drunks. It ended up with me mediating another couple's communication issues and fighting. I like both members of the couple, but the way they relate to each other is horrible, and they are not good together. They fight, and not fairly at all. And one of them wants a kid, while the other does not. They try to get the other one to change, and both resent the other for that. Didn't get home until 2am.
Saturday
I slept in and then felt food hungover for a few hours until I went back to bed for another 3 hours. Corky came over after work and we ran a couple of errands, and then we just hung out at home and watched a movie, going to bed at a decent hour.
Sunday
Got up and waked for a couple of hours, and finally felt like my body was back on track. cleaned a bit in the garage, did laundry, ran errands and hung out for a few hours at home waiting for The Boys return, which was supposed to be by 8pm. At 8:25 I sent a text to them, their father and his gf to ask if they were on the way. They replied a few minutes later that they were just leaving the Superbowl party (at least a 30 minute drive). This is a constant bone I have to pick with their father, because I was nearly certain all of The Boys' homework was not completed, and they had not taken showers. I checked the homework and it had been finished, which pleasantly surprised me. After showers, that put them in bed well after 10pm, because the ex wouldn't leave and felt like visiting... Or, I could make them get up early after staying up late all weekend. So now I have the pleasure of handling grumpy pubescent boys. Lucky me.
Friday
After school, I picked up The Boys, took them to their old elementary school to drop off some clay for the kiln. The Youngest had presented his Egypt project in the morning, and it involved people creating cartouches in clay. Dropped The Boys at their father's and came home to turn around and go play bingo with some friends. I had no idea how late bingo ran. I didn't win, not anything, but it was mostly fun. I was on the end of the row, and missed out on too much conversation. After bingo, a few of us went to a really late dinner with lots of post party drunks. It ended up with me mediating another couple's communication issues and fighting. I like both members of the couple, but the way they relate to each other is horrible, and they are not good together. They fight, and not fairly at all. And one of them wants a kid, while the other does not. They try to get the other one to change, and both resent the other for that. Didn't get home until 2am.
Saturday
I slept in and then felt food hungover for a few hours until I went back to bed for another 3 hours. Corky came over after work and we ran a couple of errands, and then we just hung out at home and watched a movie, going to bed at a decent hour.
Sunday
Got up and waked for a couple of hours, and finally felt like my body was back on track. cleaned a bit in the garage, did laundry, ran errands and hung out for a few hours at home waiting for The Boys return, which was supposed to be by 8pm. At 8:25 I sent a text to them, their father and his gf to ask if they were on the way. They replied a few minutes later that they were just leaving the Superbowl party (at least a 30 minute drive). This is a constant bone I have to pick with their father, because I was nearly certain all of The Boys' homework was not completed, and they had not taken showers. I checked the homework and it had been finished, which pleasantly surprised me. After showers, that put them in bed well after 10pm, because the ex wouldn't leave and felt like visiting... Or, I could make them get up early after staying up late all weekend. So now I have the pleasure of handling grumpy pubescent boys. Lucky me.
Monday, November 17, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Well this weekend left me emotionally tired and with a sore throat from all the yelling going on.
Friday
The Youngest worked a bit on his MAJOR project. Not enough to my mind, but at least he is moving on it. In the attempt to get him to a fiction genre, I got him started on Stephen King's The Green Mile. I remember reading my mom's King books at that age, and falling in love with them. The Oldest claimed he had no homework, but when I checked, he had a ton of work past due as well as several items due Monday. Homework weekend it would be... We watched Close Encounters in the evening before bed, and The Youngest enjoyed it the most, while The Oldest claimed it would give him nightmares.
Saturday
Morning found us at the kitchen table, eating a delicious breakfast by Corky, and already the fights over homework began. The plea deals, the claims of my evil nature. Yes, I understand that there are things you would rather do. I also would rather not sit here making sure you do your homework. No I am not on a mission to ruin your life by making you do the work you should have already done and turned in. Yes, if you actually use the system you set up, you would get everything turned in on time. No, it will not in fact take you longer to do all of your work. The length of time it has taken you to complain is longer than the actual work involved. I worked on a few projects hanging stuff on the walls of my bedroom, taking down an old computer, rewiring the modem, router, printer, micro cell and gateway, but then The Boys would get distracted and stop working, which meant I was stopping my work to check on them, remind them to stay focused, that they were not finished with it all, check the things they did complete, make them revise those items to their teachers' standards, and signing off once complete. And on it went all day with a short lunch break, and a dinner out celebrating my first boyfriend's 50th birthday. It was a great evening.
Sunday
And back to the grind of homework battles. Did not leave the house or the sight of The Boys until everything was complete at 2:00. Then grocery shopped, came home and taped The Youngest doing a project for History and English on Mesopotamia. Had a few bloopers, and finished up about time to make dinner. Corky and I also tackled the credenza in my kitchen, reorganizing it to fit the china and crystal and freeing up space for coffee, tea and associated mugs. Got out my blue items and they went in the ledge above the kitchen window where they are nicely set apart by the white shelving and wall. Corky did all of the laundry and folding of clothes during all of this and had The Boys clean their rooms and bathroom, vacuum and mop while I was shopping. There were no screens today and despite The Boys claiming there was absolutely nothing to do, they managed to entertain themselves for the evening, and even woke me up at 8:30 for their bed time. I'd fallen asleep on the couch, nearly as soon as I sat down.
Friday
The Youngest worked a bit on his MAJOR project. Not enough to my mind, but at least he is moving on it. In the attempt to get him to a fiction genre, I got him started on Stephen King's The Green Mile. I remember reading my mom's King books at that age, and falling in love with them. The Oldest claimed he had no homework, but when I checked, he had a ton of work past due as well as several items due Monday. Homework weekend it would be... We watched Close Encounters in the evening before bed, and The Youngest enjoyed it the most, while The Oldest claimed it would give him nightmares.
Saturday
Morning found us at the kitchen table, eating a delicious breakfast by Corky, and already the fights over homework began. The plea deals, the claims of my evil nature. Yes, I understand that there are things you would rather do. I also would rather not sit here making sure you do your homework. No I am not on a mission to ruin your life by making you do the work you should have already done and turned in. Yes, if you actually use the system you set up, you would get everything turned in on time. No, it will not in fact take you longer to do all of your work. The length of time it has taken you to complain is longer than the actual work involved. I worked on a few projects hanging stuff on the walls of my bedroom, taking down an old computer, rewiring the modem, router, printer, micro cell and gateway, but then The Boys would get distracted and stop working, which meant I was stopping my work to check on them, remind them to stay focused, that they were not finished with it all, check the things they did complete, make them revise those items to their teachers' standards, and signing off once complete. And on it went all day with a short lunch break, and a dinner out celebrating my first boyfriend's 50th birthday. It was a great evening.
Sunday
And back to the grind of homework battles. Did not leave the house or the sight of The Boys until everything was complete at 2:00. Then grocery shopped, came home and taped The Youngest doing a project for History and English on Mesopotamia. Had a few bloopers, and finished up about time to make dinner. Corky and I also tackled the credenza in my kitchen, reorganizing it to fit the china and crystal and freeing up space for coffee, tea and associated mugs. Got out my blue items and they went in the ledge above the kitchen window where they are nicely set apart by the white shelving and wall. Corky did all of the laundry and folding of clothes during all of this and had The Boys clean their rooms and bathroom, vacuum and mop while I was shopping. There were no screens today and despite The Boys claiming there was absolutely nothing to do, they managed to entertain themselves for the evening, and even woke me up at 8:30 for their bed time. I'd fallen asleep on the couch, nearly as soon as I sat down.
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Monday started good
Late Sunday night, I found out that NOH8 is doing another shoot in San Francisco this weekend, and I want Corky to come with me. I was hoping The Boys could come too, which their father agreed to today, as long as their images are not used for advertising (which they are not). In the morning I found out that I'd won tickets to see Chicago the musical! Free B-Way tix? YESSSSSSSS!!!!! So it looks like a bunch of trips to SF this weekend, but for totally awesome reasons.
Of course, my winning high could not be sustained all day and into the night. After school brought monumental homework battles, tears, shouting, crying, whining and arguments worthy of a Supreme Court briefing. During the arguments, I fielded a call from a friend, missed two calls from Corky, and was being peppered by so many questions from all places, that I was unable to then also put together a decent dinner for us. So I escaped to In-n-Out, picked up food and came home. During the drive, I called my mom. and then called Corky as I'd been short with her on the phone. I just wanted someone to talk me off the cliff edge, tell me it would be okay. What I got was an irritated gf, who accused me of rewarding The Boys with take out food after they behaved so badly. I explained this was not for their benefit, but mine. I was going to seriously lose my mind if I had to add any one more thing to think about and keep track of, which included dinner. I was already on The Youngest for 6 separate things due this week, from the spelling test and vocab due tomorrow, the write up for a story they are reading due Wed, a Middle East test due Thursday, and a science study guide (the class in which he just obtained an F quarter grade) due Friday. I am working on getting his week set up and splitting up the larger tasks and assignments. He has a major assignment due in a couple of weeks, so I am also getting him to do some research each day. That would have been plenty, but The Oldest determined that he does not know how to structure a complete sentence, and thus I was dictating (from his own notes and science study guide) complete sentences, which I had to remind him to capitalize, and appropriately punctuate. That was after the temper tantrum, and his insistence that he had no idea complete sentences were required (despite it being written on the study guide), Then his attestation that his teacher clarified that complete sentences were in fact not required, That was followed by my insistence that he write them anyway because he was no longer going to have the option or choice of doing the bare minimum. My requirement is complete sentences, even if he could get his teacher to tell me otherwise. Even then, he tried to get away with a few complete sentences, so I had to have him keep going back to actually write them out. In between this was me proof reading The Youngest's essay, adding clarifying questions, and reading those, adding follow up questions and sending him back to do the complete work ,instead of the bare minimum.
It was exhausting, and I was pretty upset with my gf, as I am sure she is certain that I am caving in on giving treats to The Boys, but there are days when my sanity is actually of utmost importance. I need my strength, because I know without a doubt that this is not the end of the battles. This is only the tip of the iceberg. It is absolutely going to get more difficult before it gets easier.
Of course, my winning high could not be sustained all day and into the night. After school brought monumental homework battles, tears, shouting, crying, whining and arguments worthy of a Supreme Court briefing. During the arguments, I fielded a call from a friend, missed two calls from Corky, and was being peppered by so many questions from all places, that I was unable to then also put together a decent dinner for us. So I escaped to In-n-Out, picked up food and came home. During the drive, I called my mom. and then called Corky as I'd been short with her on the phone. I just wanted someone to talk me off the cliff edge, tell me it would be okay. What I got was an irritated gf, who accused me of rewarding The Boys with take out food after they behaved so badly. I explained this was not for their benefit, but mine. I was going to seriously lose my mind if I had to add any one more thing to think about and keep track of, which included dinner. I was already on The Youngest for 6 separate things due this week, from the spelling test and vocab due tomorrow, the write up for a story they are reading due Wed, a Middle East test due Thursday, and a science study guide (the class in which he just obtained an F quarter grade) due Friday. I am working on getting his week set up and splitting up the larger tasks and assignments. He has a major assignment due in a couple of weeks, so I am also getting him to do some research each day. That would have been plenty, but The Oldest determined that he does not know how to structure a complete sentence, and thus I was dictating (from his own notes and science study guide) complete sentences, which I had to remind him to capitalize, and appropriately punctuate. That was after the temper tantrum, and his insistence that he had no idea complete sentences were required (despite it being written on the study guide), Then his attestation that his teacher clarified that complete sentences were in fact not required, That was followed by my insistence that he write them anyway because he was no longer going to have the option or choice of doing the bare minimum. My requirement is complete sentences, even if he could get his teacher to tell me otherwise. Even then, he tried to get away with a few complete sentences, so I had to have him keep going back to actually write them out. In between this was me proof reading The Youngest's essay, adding clarifying questions, and reading those, adding follow up questions and sending him back to do the complete work ,instead of the bare minimum.
It was exhausting, and I was pretty upset with my gf, as I am sure she is certain that I am caving in on giving treats to The Boys, but there are days when my sanity is actually of utmost importance. I need my strength, because I know without a doubt that this is not the end of the battles. This is only the tip of the iceberg. It is absolutely going to get more difficult before it gets easier.
Thursday, October 16, 2014
Wednesday and lots of learning
I took 3 training classes at work today and I actually learned something in each of them. I also learned a few real life things (in the broadest definition). When you put a stop to someone who is overstepping their role, they take it personally, glare at and or scold you, unnecessarily punish your child, and generally behave in a borderline unprofessional manner. The "Live Long and Prosper" hand gesture originated in a Jewish Benediction that is not supposed to be viewed by members of the Synagogue. Also? my BFF volunteers me for almost everything she is involved in at school. My mother is unreasonably obsessed with a celebration of marriage this upcoming weekend (still). If the dogs are not let out to pee at around 10pm, they bark at 3:30am to be let out, and then I cannot fall back asleep for an hour.
My brain may actually be full at this point.
My brain may actually be full at this point.
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Another busy weekend, and somehow I feel a bit melancholy at the ending.
Friday
Was in the proverbial dog house most of the day. Corky had spent the night and the morning was actually quite nice. I really did and do miss being able to say goodnight to someone next to me right before going to sleep, and I miss good morning just as much. We discussed plans for later that evening, and it wasn't until I arrived at The Youngest's school that I realized I' already said yes to a girls night in - at another school mom's home. So I reminded Corky, who hadn't ever gotten the date for said evening. We'd discussed the event, but I didn't update her once I had an actual date. She was pissed. Rightfully so, as I did not effectively communicate the final plan. She had Friday and Saturday off work, which meant she could sleep over Friday and we could have a family night. She hung with The Boys, and I went for about 3 hours to the event. It was nice seeing and talking to people I don't get to see or visit with. But the entire evening had a pall cast over it by my feeling guilty for going, or staying any length of time, and I was not able to fully enjoy myself. I felt rushed to get home. I need to work on communication and get used to running things by another person before making plans. Corky stayed the night anyway. Also? Had the ex giving me crap for "forcing" The Oldest to go, but I told them both (because dealing with childishness seems to be a gift) that this is an honor - to be considered one of the few Gentile friends invited.
Saturday
A rather early morning for a weekend and preparations for attending our first Bat Mitzvah. The service was in the morning, and I quite enjoyed the singing, and the Torah passage the friend of The Oldest chose. The Youngest split his time at the ex' and at my sister's. The ex always wants to have first right of refusal to watch The Boys on my weekends, but then actually cannot take them... The Youngest likely would have been happier at an all day play date at another friend's. He did enjoy my sister's and demanded that we go back soon. He did a great job of guilt tripping me (although we will be there on Mother's Day anyway). The dinner and party at night were fun, and the kids loved it. The Oldest had a blast and didn't leave the dance floor except to eat, or as necessitated by the ceremony. It ran until 11:00, but I promised to pick up The Youngest by 9:30, and The Oldest got in trouble for telling anyone who would listen that I was forcing him to leave. Ironic. He now didn't want to leave the party he whined about attending. Completely expected. Highlights included Mine and Corky's first dance at an event with (what I am guessing) mostly straight people. If I remember correctly, Reform Judaism and the Jews I know in particular, have zero religious objection to homosexuality. Everyone I didn't already know were very warm and wonderful (as I would expect from knowing the part of the family that I do).
The Tzedaka
Torah: Leviticus 19:9-10
And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and stranger; I am the Lord your God. (Leviticus 19:9-10) (Note: To glean is to gather the remains of the harvest left after the reapers collect)
I found the interpretation of this by Judaism, the Bat Mitzvah, and the Rabbi to be very interesting and applicable and useful to my life. I appreciated the subtle differences in their understandings, and what it means as young people grow into adults. The Bat Mitzvah added that the Earth does not actually belong to us, and we are the caretakers only. As such, we need to also care for those in need, the stranger and the poor equally. It is a lesson too few take into their hearts and their every day.
Sunday
I woke up early, but went back to sleep following a bathroom break, and was woken by The Boys yelling at one another. I really had expected this, as neither went to bed at a remotely decent hour, and they both had soda, sugar, and junky food all evening. I refereed as long as I could from bed, but came running when The Oldest poked The Youngest in the eye with a pencil. It was an accident, as both attested, I didn't see any lacerations, punctures, or really any redness that would not normally be attributed to crying. So we ice packed the eye in question, and gave it about a half hour to see what it would do. In the mean time, The Oldest felt bad enough to start a complete meltdown, which included (unknown to me) texting the ex and the ex' gf to tell them he felt like shit and hated himself. After I got him calmed down, and The Youngest looked as though he would live, and his eye was fine, and about 30 minutes more of The Boys cleaning their morning mess and playing minecraft, I started getting texts from the ex asking what was going on. I then texted the details back. The ex' gf then texted The Oldest to tell him that they love him and it was all going to be okay...
A half hour after that, got another text from the ex asking how The Youngest's eye was... At that point I was already completely over the day, and it was only noon. So I finally showered and hauled my exhausted ass to grocery shop, leaving instructions with The Boys for things needing to be completed before I returned. I called them as I was leaving the store to tell them that all of those things I asked them to do, had better be done, and this was their 5 minute warning. I returned home to find most of the things were finished, and they did complete the rest when I pointed those out. I cleaned out the fridge and freezer and got some things together to take to Corky's for a BBQ dinner. I folded laundry, and made hummus and croutons for this week, and we headed out. Corky and her roommate were cool, and dinner was delicious. We watched Space Balls, and then Charlotte's Web, and of course I cried at Charlotte's Web - show me a mother who doesn't cry at that movie - I dare you. The Youngest comforted me, while The Oldest went into the kitchen to tell Corky and her roommate that I was already crying and it wasn't even the sad part yet, and could they even believe that! (teen boy typical) Corky came and sat with me and turned off the movie, could sense my sadness and asked about it. I think it really is fatigue from pubescent boys and the constant battles, and PMS, and lack of sleep. It is a combo that has me on the verge of tears even now, when I am crying for absolutely no reason, though as the sadness washes through me, I think of the many sad times of my life, the times of deep regret, and inner turmoil. The times when I failed myself. I know it is cathartic to cry this way now and again, but it bothers the younger cooler part of myself. At the same time, the older and wiser part of myself recognizes the learning I will gain from these experiences.
I need to go to bed. I need to sleep, and I need to rest my weary mind.
Friday
Was in the proverbial dog house most of the day. Corky had spent the night and the morning was actually quite nice. I really did and do miss being able to say goodnight to someone next to me right before going to sleep, and I miss good morning just as much. We discussed plans for later that evening, and it wasn't until I arrived at The Youngest's school that I realized I' already said yes to a girls night in - at another school mom's home. So I reminded Corky, who hadn't ever gotten the date for said evening. We'd discussed the event, but I didn't update her once I had an actual date. She was pissed. Rightfully so, as I did not effectively communicate the final plan. She had Friday and Saturday off work, which meant she could sleep over Friday and we could have a family night. She hung with The Boys, and I went for about 3 hours to the event. It was nice seeing and talking to people I don't get to see or visit with. But the entire evening had a pall cast over it by my feeling guilty for going, or staying any length of time, and I was not able to fully enjoy myself. I felt rushed to get home. I need to work on communication and get used to running things by another person before making plans. Corky stayed the night anyway. Also? Had the ex giving me crap for "forcing" The Oldest to go, but I told them both (because dealing with childishness seems to be a gift) that this is an honor - to be considered one of the few Gentile friends invited.
Saturday
A rather early morning for a weekend and preparations for attending our first Bat Mitzvah. The service was in the morning, and I quite enjoyed the singing, and the Torah passage the friend of The Oldest chose. The Youngest split his time at the ex' and at my sister's. The ex always wants to have first right of refusal to watch The Boys on my weekends, but then actually cannot take them... The Youngest likely would have been happier at an all day play date at another friend's. He did enjoy my sister's and demanded that we go back soon. He did a great job of guilt tripping me (although we will be there on Mother's Day anyway). The dinner and party at night were fun, and the kids loved it. The Oldest had a blast and didn't leave the dance floor except to eat, or as necessitated by the ceremony. It ran until 11:00, but I promised to pick up The Youngest by 9:30, and The Oldest got in trouble for telling anyone who would listen that I was forcing him to leave. Ironic. He now didn't want to leave the party he whined about attending. Completely expected. Highlights included Mine and Corky's first dance at an event with (what I am guessing) mostly straight people. If I remember correctly, Reform Judaism and the Jews I know in particular, have zero religious objection to homosexuality. Everyone I didn't already know were very warm and wonderful (as I would expect from knowing the part of the family that I do).
The Tzedaka
Torah: Leviticus 19:9-10
And when you reap the harvest of your land, you shall not reap to the very corners of your field, nor shall you gather the gleanings of your harvest. And you shall not glean your vineyard, nor shall you gather every grape of your vineyard; you shall leave them for the poor and stranger; I am the Lord your God. (Leviticus 19:9-10) (Note: To glean is to gather the remains of the harvest left after the reapers collect)
I found the interpretation of this by Judaism, the Bat Mitzvah, and the Rabbi to be very interesting and applicable and useful to my life. I appreciated the subtle differences in their understandings, and what it means as young people grow into adults. The Bat Mitzvah added that the Earth does not actually belong to us, and we are the caretakers only. As such, we need to also care for those in need, the stranger and the poor equally. It is a lesson too few take into their hearts and their every day.
Sunday
I woke up early, but went back to sleep following a bathroom break, and was woken by The Boys yelling at one another. I really had expected this, as neither went to bed at a remotely decent hour, and they both had soda, sugar, and junky food all evening. I refereed as long as I could from bed, but came running when The Oldest poked The Youngest in the eye with a pencil. It was an accident, as both attested, I didn't see any lacerations, punctures, or really any redness that would not normally be attributed to crying. So we ice packed the eye in question, and gave it about a half hour to see what it would do. In the mean time, The Oldest felt bad enough to start a complete meltdown, which included (unknown to me) texting the ex and the ex' gf to tell them he felt like shit and hated himself. After I got him calmed down, and The Youngest looked as though he would live, and his eye was fine, and about 30 minutes more of The Boys cleaning their morning mess and playing minecraft, I started getting texts from the ex asking what was going on. I then texted the details back. The ex' gf then texted The Oldest to tell him that they love him and it was all going to be okay...
A half hour after that, got another text from the ex asking how The Youngest's eye was... At that point I was already completely over the day, and it was only noon. So I finally showered and hauled my exhausted ass to grocery shop, leaving instructions with The Boys for things needing to be completed before I returned. I called them as I was leaving the store to tell them that all of those things I asked them to do, had better be done, and this was their 5 minute warning. I returned home to find most of the things were finished, and they did complete the rest when I pointed those out. I cleaned out the fridge and freezer and got some things together to take to Corky's for a BBQ dinner. I folded laundry, and made hummus and croutons for this week, and we headed out. Corky and her roommate were cool, and dinner was delicious. We watched Space Balls, and then Charlotte's Web, and of course I cried at Charlotte's Web - show me a mother who doesn't cry at that movie - I dare you. The Youngest comforted me, while The Oldest went into the kitchen to tell Corky and her roommate that I was already crying and it wasn't even the sad part yet, and could they even believe that! (teen boy typical) Corky came and sat with me and turned off the movie, could sense my sadness and asked about it. I think it really is fatigue from pubescent boys and the constant battles, and PMS, and lack of sleep. It is a combo that has me on the verge of tears even now, when I am crying for absolutely no reason, though as the sadness washes through me, I think of the many sad times of my life, the times of deep regret, and inner turmoil. The times when I failed myself. I know it is cathartic to cry this way now and again, but it bothers the younger cooler part of myself. At the same time, the older and wiser part of myself recognizes the learning I will gain from these experiences.
I need to go to bed. I need to sleep, and I need to rest my weary mind.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Ok-ness
I'm not ok. Not now, maybe not for a long while. Intrinsically I know I will be ok at some point, but I am having a difficult time seeing my way through my current situation to a point of just being ok. Not even a place of happiness, just ok-ness. I am just so sad. So stuck. So angry. Crying is helping and not all at the same time. Sometimes I am just so tired of being strong. Sometimes I just need arms to hold me and a shoulder to cry on. Sometimes I need someone on my side, telling me it will be ok, even if it isn't, and boosting me up. I don't get that from anyone right now, and maybe that is really the deal. That we each have to have a level of that within ourselves. Maybe I need to be able to refill my own strength reserve. Maybe I shouldn't need another person or people to do that for me, to validate me in that way. I am the nurturer, the rock, the sounding board. I am the advisor for many people in many ways. I need nurturing too. Maybe it is too much to expect that from just one person, or from a select group of people. Is it time to weed my friend garden again? To rid it of the weeds who threaten to choke out the healthy relationships. Do I have any weeds? And more importantly, do I have any healthy relationships to nurture?
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
When it rains, it pours
My life is so busy right now that I absolutely have not had a moment to spare to write in my paper journal, let alone here. I am on a CMMi Appraisal at work, requiring 6A-4P on the phone and computer with my lunch break occurring at 9:30A. Today there was an interview at 8A, requiring me to send The Boys to school on their own, which made me mildly nervous. This insane work schedule started last week, and I took 2 days vacation to travel with The Oldest and 17 other 4th and 5th graders and 8 other adults. We had a crazy busy schedule fro two days that looked like this:
Thursday:
7:30A - Leave School
10:00A - Pitch tents at campground
11:00A - Tour State Park museum with Ranger
Bag lunch at cemetery
1:00P - School house presentation with docent
2:00P - Drive to Caverns
3:15P - Tour caves
5:00P - Return to camp for dinner
Story
9:00P - Bed
Friday:
7:30A - Breakfast
Break camp
9:00A - Explore Old Town merchants
10:30A - Pan for Gold
Stage Coach ride
1:00P Railway Museum
3:00P - Leave for school
5:00P - Return to school
What REALLY happened:
Thursday:
7:15-7:30A - Run around like crazy trying to figure out if we have all of the people and stuff we need.
7:30A - pile 4 kids and 2 adults and as much stuff as possible into my car and leave the school.
9:30A - First to arrive at campground and check in
10:00A - Pitch tents at campground while trying to get kids to help and set up their own stuff.
11:00A - Tour State Park museum with Ranger - This was REALLY cool.
Bag lunch after recovering from a hike to the school house, then a walk through the cemetery.
1:00P - School house presentation with docent - Also REALLY cool.
2:00P - Drive to Caverns
3:15P - Tour caves (165 ft below ground - gotten to via spiral staircase, also the only way back out...)
4:00P - Realize how very little aerobic activity there is in my life
4:30P - pull over the car and kick The Oldest to the side of the road for throwing an Altoids tin at the front windshield while we were travelling at 55 MPH
4:40P - Let The Oldest back into the car after calming down.
5:00P - Return to camp and snack on dried fruit and saltines. Dinner was shredded pork, baked beans (with pork), corn bread and butter, which the kids made while dinner was being prepared. I didn't eat the non vegetarian options.
Story - I read this to the kids by campfire light.
8:00-10:00P - Trying to get the kids to go to sleep, listening to giggling and talking and yelling
Friday:
6:00A - Kids start waking up
6:30A - one dad yells at awake kids, "Hey Jackasses, if any of you wake my kid, you will answer to me" - this was WAY louder than any of the kids who were awake, and was likely the reason his kid looked sleepy all day.
7:30A - Breakfast
Break camp - really more trying to get the kids and all the stuff crammed back into the cars.
9:00A - Explore Old Town merchants - this included a bowling alley and apothecary, blacksmith too.
10:30A - Pan for Gold - The kids LOVED this part.
11:40A - Stage Coach ride - They also loved this and chattered away about how awesome it was while we walked to the Mercantile to pick up lunches.
12:30P - walked to Limestone area and kids played while adults chilled.
1:00P - Left for Railway Museum, which was closed.
2:30P - Leave for school
4:30P - Return to school
5:30-9:00P - The Oldest was a t a Birthday party for a friend with many of the kids from the camping trip. Reports from the parents who attended made it sound like a therapy session with laughter one moment and crying the next.
This weekend was also Halloween Fun Night. Because I was gone for the 2 days preceding the event, I was not heavily involved in set up. I kind of missed that level of involvement, but the one person who I would do absolutely anything for (as evidenced HERE) was not in fact involved at all. I really missed doing this event together, but I'll survive...
Saturday was an early Football game, then helping rig some things for Halloween Fun Night, then an afternoon Soccer game. That was followed by attending Halloween Fun Night, and photographing the event. The kids all had a ton of fun!
Sunday brought me back to the school for 6 hours to clean up Halloween Fun Night. The clean up crew was 3 adults, and 5 kids under age 12. It took WAY longer than it could have.
Monday started a grueling work schedule that has me waking up at 4:30A and working on phone and computer from 6A-4P, and mostly unable to get The Boys to and from school. Thankfully I have dear friends willing to watch out for them and make sure they make it to and from school.
Oh, and The Dude was out of town Wednesday last week to Tuesday this week.
I'm wiped out, and the work schedule continues through November 18th.
Thursday:
7:30A - Leave School
10:00A - Pitch tents at campground
11:00A - Tour State Park museum with Ranger
Bag lunch at cemetery
1:00P - School house presentation with docent
2:00P - Drive to Caverns
3:15P - Tour caves
5:00P - Return to camp for dinner
Story
9:00P - Bed
Friday:
7:30A - Breakfast
Break camp
9:00A - Explore Old Town merchants
10:30A - Pan for Gold
Stage Coach ride
1:00P Railway Museum
3:00P - Leave for school
5:00P - Return to school
What REALLY happened:
Thursday:
7:15-7:30A - Run around like crazy trying to figure out if we have all of the people and stuff we need.
7:30A - pile 4 kids and 2 adults and as much stuff as possible into my car and leave the school.
9:30A - First to arrive at campground and check in
10:00A - Pitch tents at campground while trying to get kids to help and set up their own stuff.
11:00A - Tour State Park museum with Ranger - This was REALLY cool.
Bag lunch after recovering from a hike to the school house, then a walk through the cemetery.
1:00P - School house presentation with docent - Also REALLY cool.
2:00P - Drive to Caverns
3:15P - Tour caves (165 ft below ground - gotten to via spiral staircase, also the only way back out...)
4:00P - Realize how very little aerobic activity there is in my life
4:30P - pull over the car and kick The Oldest to the side of the road for throwing an Altoids tin at the front windshield while we were travelling at 55 MPH
4:40P - Let The Oldest back into the car after calming down.
5:00P - Return to camp and snack on dried fruit and saltines. Dinner was shredded pork, baked beans (with pork), corn bread and butter, which the kids made while dinner was being prepared. I didn't eat the non vegetarian options.
Story - I read this to the kids by campfire light.
8:00-10:00P - Trying to get the kids to go to sleep, listening to giggling and talking and yelling
Friday:
6:00A - Kids start waking up
6:30A - one dad yells at awake kids, "Hey Jackasses, if any of you wake my kid, you will answer to me" - this was WAY louder than any of the kids who were awake, and was likely the reason his kid looked sleepy all day.
7:30A - Breakfast
Break camp - really more trying to get the kids and all the stuff crammed back into the cars.
9:00A - Explore Old Town merchants - this included a bowling alley and apothecary, blacksmith too.
10:30A - Pan for Gold - The kids LOVED this part.
11:40A - Stage Coach ride - They also loved this and chattered away about how awesome it was while we walked to the Mercantile to pick up lunches.
12:30P - walked to Limestone area and kids played while adults chilled.
1:00P - Left for Railway Museum, which was closed.
2:30P - Leave for school
4:30P - Return to school
5:30-9:00P - The Oldest was a t a Birthday party for a friend with many of the kids from the camping trip. Reports from the parents who attended made it sound like a therapy session with laughter one moment and crying the next.
This weekend was also Halloween Fun Night. Because I was gone for the 2 days preceding the event, I was not heavily involved in set up. I kind of missed that level of involvement, but the one person who I would do absolutely anything for (as evidenced HERE) was not in fact involved at all. I really missed doing this event together, but I'll survive...
Saturday was an early Football game, then helping rig some things for Halloween Fun Night, then an afternoon Soccer game. That was followed by attending Halloween Fun Night, and photographing the event. The kids all had a ton of fun!
Sunday brought me back to the school for 6 hours to clean up Halloween Fun Night. The clean up crew was 3 adults, and 5 kids under age 12. It took WAY longer than it could have.
Monday started a grueling work schedule that has me waking up at 4:30A and working on phone and computer from 6A-4P, and mostly unable to get The Boys to and from school. Thankfully I have dear friends willing to watch out for them and make sure they make it to and from school.
Oh, and The Dude was out of town Wednesday last week to Tuesday this week.
I'm wiped out, and the work schedule continues through November 18th.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Music Monday - Who Are All These Old People?
Alternate Title: Can't They Turn Down The Music?
Last night was the 25th Reunion of my High School class. For those who cannot do the math, we graduated in 1985. I was a Band Buddy (as I have already attested). What this meant in 1985 was that I was not well known among the class of 250. Only about 75 of those were at the reunion last night, and only 5 people from the band. It was really great seeing the people I remembered, and talking to people I normally wouldn't have. It was also very flattering to have one of the cutest guys from then actually remember me, and say hi to me when we first got there.
Some hints for people planning these events:
If you are going to print name tags, PLEASE make them in a font larger than 12 point. May I recommend 48 or 72. We are all in out 40's, most of us need corrective eyewear, and none of us want to go around invading personal space to read nametags placed on people's boobs.
If you are also going to place yearbook photos on nametags, consider a photo larger than 1/2' square. If you think reading small print is bad...
Reconsider location. I wanted to spend more time talking to people, and less time shouting over Lady GaGa. I do love her music, but with a few hours to visit, I felt a bit cheated.
Please work on drawing more than the stoners, jocks, and cheerleaders. While I can appreciate the diversity of such a crowd, I felt NEARLY as invisible as back then, and I'm WAY cooler now. I submit as evidence, the fact that I am a blogger...
The good points:
I won a bottle of good wine as a door prize.
I was thanked for donating door prizes (not the wine).
I had dinner at a friend's restaurant - the food was really good, and the dessert was better. If you are ever in downtown, I highly recommend the Limoncello Tiramisu.
I didn't get drunk, and therefore had no hangover today.
The less than stellar points (not bad or good, just stuff):
I missed the Jimmy Buffett concert for this. Of course, the Buffet tickets were at least $120, and the reunion was less than $30, but still. I could have been exceptionally drunk and watching people in varying states of undress.
It rained, limiting access to the outdoor patio where the music wasn't deafening.
Many of the people I really wanted to see weren't there.
Feeling every inch ofthis song. Even though it is WAY before my time, we still danced to it at The Edge back in the 80's when Mod was in.
Last night was the 25th Reunion of my High School class. For those who cannot do the math, we graduated in 1985. I was a Band Buddy (as I have already attested). What this meant in 1985 was that I was not well known among the class of 250. Only about 75 of those were at the reunion last night, and only 5 people from the band. It was really great seeing the people I remembered, and talking to people I normally wouldn't have. It was also very flattering to have one of the cutest guys from then actually remember me, and say hi to me when we first got there.
Some hints for people planning these events:
If you are going to print name tags, PLEASE make them in a font larger than 12 point. May I recommend 48 or 72. We are all in out 40's, most of us need corrective eyewear, and none of us want to go around invading personal space to read nametags placed on people's boobs.
If you are also going to place yearbook photos on nametags, consider a photo larger than 1/2' square. If you think reading small print is bad...
Reconsider location. I wanted to spend more time talking to people, and less time shouting over Lady GaGa. I do love her music, but with a few hours to visit, I felt a bit cheated.
Please work on drawing more than the stoners, jocks, and cheerleaders. While I can appreciate the diversity of such a crowd, I felt NEARLY as invisible as back then, and I'm WAY cooler now. I submit as evidence, the fact that I am a blogger...
The good points:
I won a bottle of good wine as a door prize.
I was thanked for donating door prizes (not the wine).
I had dinner at a friend's restaurant - the food was really good, and the dessert was better. If you are ever in downtown, I highly recommend the Limoncello Tiramisu.
I didn't get drunk, and therefore had no hangover today.
The less than stellar points (not bad or good, just stuff):
I missed the Jimmy Buffett concert for this. Of course, the Buffet tickets were at least $120, and the reunion was less than $30, but still. I could have been exceptionally drunk and watching people in varying states of undress.
It rained, limiting access to the outdoor patio where the music wasn't deafening.
Many of the people I really wanted to see weren't there.
Feeling every inch ofthis song. Even though it is WAY before my time, we still danced to it at The Edge back in the 80's when Mod was in.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sunday Evening Weekend Wrap Up
This was a tiring weekend. Friday at work was tiring. People in general are making me tired. Living with a bipolar person is tiring. the heat tonight is tiring. Well enough about the tiring things, and on to why I am really tired.
Friday was the usual neighborhood kids hanging out in the afternoon and evening. Friday night I went to bed early, on purpose, but The Dog had other ideas. He's 15, and usually a very mellow being, lazing about the house all day and night. Not Friday night, ohhh noooooo, he paced the hallway and our bedroom for 2 hours in the middle of the night, sending The Dude out in case he needed a restroom break, and bringing his water in for him. He FINALLY settled down, and about an hour later I had to get up and use the restroom, and an hour after that, so did The Dude. By Saturday morning I was fried.
Saturday was another swim meet, at the pool I grew up going to, in the neighborhood where my parents still live. The boys had fun, and I was second shift timer partnered with a guy who was a bit of a tool. I replaced the person he was initially partnered with because he complained about her. He also yelled at a bunch of the kids, and at one of our coaches. Really he was kind of a heart attack waiting to happen. I mean really, this is summer league swimming, not the Olympics... It took a great deal of energy just to deal with all of the negative vibes going on. Following the meet I just wanted to come home and relax, but the neighborhood kids hung out for a couple more hours, while The Dude napped. I unpacked the car from the meet and repacked it for the Swim team sleep over. You read that right. Think tent and sleeping bags, swimming, a slide show and movies, BBQ, potluck, dessert, snacks, not much actual sleeping, early morning, bagel and coffee, tear down and repack the car. The Boys had a complete blast with their cousins and friends, and didn't ever want to get out of the pool. In fact the first thing I heard from them this morning was if they could go in the pool. This was at 7:30, after having gone to bed at 11:00.
Got everything torn down and leaned up, and The Boys got to swim for about another 90 minutes before it was getting unbearably hot for me, and I wanted to come home, take a shower and nap. Instead, we got home, I unloaded the car, did dishes and laundry, and The Dude went to work, and napped when he got home. The neighbor kids were back, but only for a short while until The Youngest threw a meltdown fit. The Boys were just as tired as I was, and didn't even want to nap. The Oldest is now on a Queen kick asking me to add We Are The Champions and Bohemian Rhapsody to his ipod. I added a few others I thought he'd like, and we lost him to the ear buds pretty much the rest of the day after that. Pizza for dinner, and I needed another shower to cool off. I just hope everyone sleeps through the night tonight so that I am moderately rested for work tomorrow.
Friday was the usual neighborhood kids hanging out in the afternoon and evening. Friday night I went to bed early, on purpose, but The Dog had other ideas. He's 15, and usually a very mellow being, lazing about the house all day and night. Not Friday night, ohhh noooooo, he paced the hallway and our bedroom for 2 hours in the middle of the night, sending The Dude out in case he needed a restroom break, and bringing his water in for him. He FINALLY settled down, and about an hour later I had to get up and use the restroom, and an hour after that, so did The Dude. By Saturday morning I was fried.
Saturday was another swim meet, at the pool I grew up going to, in the neighborhood where my parents still live. The boys had fun, and I was second shift timer partnered with a guy who was a bit of a tool. I replaced the person he was initially partnered with because he complained about her. He also yelled at a bunch of the kids, and at one of our coaches. Really he was kind of a heart attack waiting to happen. I mean really, this is summer league swimming, not the Olympics... It took a great deal of energy just to deal with all of the negative vibes going on. Following the meet I just wanted to come home and relax, but the neighborhood kids hung out for a couple more hours, while The Dude napped. I unpacked the car from the meet and repacked it for the Swim team sleep over. You read that right. Think tent and sleeping bags, swimming, a slide show and movies, BBQ, potluck, dessert, snacks, not much actual sleeping, early morning, bagel and coffee, tear down and repack the car. The Boys had a complete blast with their cousins and friends, and didn't ever want to get out of the pool. In fact the first thing I heard from them this morning was if they could go in the pool. This was at 7:30, after having gone to bed at 11:00.
Got everything torn down and leaned up, and The Boys got to swim for about another 90 minutes before it was getting unbearably hot for me, and I wanted to come home, take a shower and nap. Instead, we got home, I unloaded the car, did dishes and laundry, and The Dude went to work, and napped when he got home. The neighbor kids were back, but only for a short while until The Youngest threw a meltdown fit. The Boys were just as tired as I was, and didn't even want to nap. The Oldest is now on a Queen kick asking me to add We Are The Champions and Bohemian Rhapsody to his ipod. I added a few others I thought he'd like, and we lost him to the ear buds pretty much the rest of the day after that. Pizza for dinner, and I needed another shower to cool off. I just hope everyone sleeps through the night tonight so that I am moderately rested for work tomorrow.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Monday Evening Weekend Wrap Up
Wow! I had to go back to my calendar to even see what I did this weekend. Take a deep breath, and you may need a glass of wine before this is over - buckle in! Ready? OK.
Friday was fine, the usual get The Boys off to school was a bit different because it was Donuts With Dads morning, when the Parent Faculty Club provides donuts, juice and coffee for the kids and the special men in their lives, be they Dads Step Dads, Uncles, Grandfathers, or Family Friends. It starts 30 minutes before school, and The Boys were proud to show off The Dude to their classmates. But for me it meant getting The Boys ready early, and The Dude out the door too. That went uneventful (which some days is all we can hope for). Next thing I know, there are helicopters hovering over The Boys' school, and the house. I figured there was probably some sort of traffic back up, but NOOOOOOOOO. I left my house for a quick trip to shoot the Sunol Water Temple (see Friday's post), and the overpass to get to the freeway on ramp in the direction I wished to travel was closed. If I'd known, I would have gone through town. Instead, I had to go about 10 miles out of my way turning around and coming back. And the news vans were circling like vultures too, so I knew it was big time. You can actually read an account here, but I figured it out by listening to my radio on the way out. I wasn't surprised by the accident itself, as I've seen near misses a bunch of times, but the car hit the tanker - the second trailer on the tanker, so the driver had to have seen the first section go by, and then decide s/he could get, what, under the second trailer? So I got back home, and to The Boys school to volunteer for my usual Friday Art. We ended up under lock down about an hour later while hazmat did air quality tests, and the kids freaked out. As of tonight, the road next to the high school is still closed and 4 houses are still evacuated, I think mostly because of all of the equipment still at that outlet from the storm drains. They tested all of the drains in my neighborhood, and we couldn't smell the fuel at the house or school, but we did smell it both a block East and West. Friday night was the swim team kick off BBQ, and the traffic made it quite the adventure to get through town to the pool. It was also my sister's birthday, and her family was there too. We tie dyed shirts, played "get to know you" games, a trivia contest, little kid alligator races, a pie throwing at the coaches, BBQ, salads, desserts, chips, soda, oh and swimming. The Boys were exhausted! Oh and I won 2 chairs at the raffle which will come in handy all summer at the meets! Got home after 9, and the boys went to bed. I stayed up (though I have NO CLUE why at this point).
Saturday The Youngest had an early Baseball Game, and I bribed the kids to get to the field on time by promising donuts for the second morning in a row. We got there in plenty of time, the game was good, The Youngest hit well, but was distracted while fielding - I think it was a combination sleep deprivation and sugar coma. The Dude had left the house early to attend high school graduation for the son of friends, and teach another son of friends how to SCUBA dive. He also helped set up for that nights party. I got The Boys their lunch and snacks, got us all changed into more presentable clothes, and headed to the party. It was nice and quiet, the boys swam even more, played ping pong (Table Tennis), soaked in the hot tub, played drums and soccer and had a blast. I got to visit a bit with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, but I was distracted while keeping track of The Boys and ensuring a mild level of mischief. Got home around 10, sent the boys to bed and stayed up again too late.
Sunday morning I cleaned out the garage while The Dude emptied out the off site storage. He came back and we loaded it all into the garage. Ran to the store, made a potato salad, got the kids fed, then went to a kid rock concert that was a little young for The Oldest, but he liked it because he loves music. Both Boys sat and listened during the first set, and when invited on stage, spent the entire second set dancing and playing air guitar. They had fun! Stopped by the house so The Dude could catch a nap, and went to The Folks' for Sis' Birthday Dinner. It was nice, the food was great, and the boys all played together. We were even fortunate enough to witness the fledgling of a nest of 4 (what I think are starlings). This was a bit of a forced fledgling as The Oldest opened the drawer they were nesting in. They all managed to make it to the top of the fence before nightfall though, so it couldn't have been too much earlier than they'd have done anyway. Got home just in time for baths, showers and bed.
Oh, and I also did all the dishes, laundry, rinsed tie dyed shirts, washed the dog bed because Duke puked sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning. I wonder if he'd had friends over for a party, and the dryer lint trap looked like it could support a small litter of pups - yes there was that much fur in it!
And today? Today was The Youngest's first day not in after school care, so I picked him up at 11:50 while on a conference call, made him lunch (OK, opened a lunchable). That was after the other 2 simultaneous calls, one on each ear where I was asked a question in both within seconds of each other. Thankfully, they both understood what I was doing, and waited patiently while I split my brain into 2 distinct meeting answers, and managed to coordinate the muting and unmuting of phones correctly. I also got caught up on my project paperwork, answered questions via e-mail, IM and phone (making me acquire adult onset ADD), ran The Boys to swim practice, The Youngest to Baseball, back to swim to pick up The Oldest, make dinner, and do dishes (again). I'm pooped, and this weekend shows no sign of being any less a scheduling nightmare.
I certainly hope you were able to relax this weekend, and though it was busy, I was spending time with my family and friends, which I would rather do than just about anything else!
Friday was fine, the usual get The Boys off to school was a bit different because it was Donuts With Dads morning, when the Parent Faculty Club provides donuts, juice and coffee for the kids and the special men in their lives, be they Dads Step Dads, Uncles, Grandfathers, or Family Friends. It starts 30 minutes before school, and The Boys were proud to show off The Dude to their classmates. But for me it meant getting The Boys ready early, and The Dude out the door too. That went uneventful (which some days is all we can hope for). Next thing I know, there are helicopters hovering over The Boys' school, and the house. I figured there was probably some sort of traffic back up, but NOOOOOOOOO. I left my house for a quick trip to shoot the Sunol Water Temple (see Friday's post), and the overpass to get to the freeway on ramp in the direction I wished to travel was closed. If I'd known, I would have gone through town. Instead, I had to go about 10 miles out of my way turning around and coming back. And the news vans were circling like vultures too, so I knew it was big time. You can actually read an account here, but I figured it out by listening to my radio on the way out. I wasn't surprised by the accident itself, as I've seen near misses a bunch of times, but the car hit the tanker - the second trailer on the tanker, so the driver had to have seen the first section go by, and then decide s/he could get, what, under the second trailer? So I got back home, and to The Boys school to volunteer for my usual Friday Art. We ended up under lock down about an hour later while hazmat did air quality tests, and the kids freaked out. As of tonight, the road next to the high school is still closed and 4 houses are still evacuated, I think mostly because of all of the equipment still at that outlet from the storm drains. They tested all of the drains in my neighborhood, and we couldn't smell the fuel at the house or school, but we did smell it both a block East and West. Friday night was the swim team kick off BBQ, and the traffic made it quite the adventure to get through town to the pool. It was also my sister's birthday, and her family was there too. We tie dyed shirts, played "get to know you" games, a trivia contest, little kid alligator races, a pie throwing at the coaches, BBQ, salads, desserts, chips, soda, oh and swimming. The Boys were exhausted! Oh and I won 2 chairs at the raffle which will come in handy all summer at the meets! Got home after 9, and the boys went to bed. I stayed up (though I have NO CLUE why at this point).
Saturday The Youngest had an early Baseball Game, and I bribed the kids to get to the field on time by promising donuts for the second morning in a row. We got there in plenty of time, the game was good, The Youngest hit well, but was distracted while fielding - I think it was a combination sleep deprivation and sugar coma. The Dude had left the house early to attend high school graduation for the son of friends, and teach another son of friends how to SCUBA dive. He also helped set up for that nights party. I got The Boys their lunch and snacks, got us all changed into more presentable clothes, and headed to the party. It was nice and quiet, the boys swam even more, played ping pong (Table Tennis), soaked in the hot tub, played drums and soccer and had a blast. I got to visit a bit with some friends I hadn't seen in a while, but I was distracted while keeping track of The Boys and ensuring a mild level of mischief. Got home around 10, sent the boys to bed and stayed up again too late.
Sunday morning I cleaned out the garage while The Dude emptied out the off site storage. He came back and we loaded it all into the garage. Ran to the store, made a potato salad, got the kids fed, then went to a kid rock concert that was a little young for The Oldest, but he liked it because he loves music. Both Boys sat and listened during the first set, and when invited on stage, spent the entire second set dancing and playing air guitar. They had fun! Stopped by the house so The Dude could catch a nap, and went to The Folks' for Sis' Birthday Dinner. It was nice, the food was great, and the boys all played together. We were even fortunate enough to witness the fledgling of a nest of 4 (what I think are starlings). This was a bit of a forced fledgling as The Oldest opened the drawer they were nesting in. They all managed to make it to the top of the fence before nightfall though, so it couldn't have been too much earlier than they'd have done anyway. Got home just in time for baths, showers and bed.
Oh, and I also did all the dishes, laundry, rinsed tie dyed shirts, washed the dog bed because Duke puked sometime between Saturday night and Sunday morning. I wonder if he'd had friends over for a party, and the dryer lint trap looked like it could support a small litter of pups - yes there was that much fur in it!
And today? Today was The Youngest's first day not in after school care, so I picked him up at 11:50 while on a conference call, made him lunch (OK, opened a lunchable). That was after the other 2 simultaneous calls, one on each ear where I was asked a question in both within seconds of each other. Thankfully, they both understood what I was doing, and waited patiently while I split my brain into 2 distinct meeting answers, and managed to coordinate the muting and unmuting of phones correctly. I also got caught up on my project paperwork, answered questions via e-mail, IM and phone (making me acquire adult onset ADD), ran The Boys to swim practice, The Youngest to Baseball, back to swim to pick up The Oldest, make dinner, and do dishes (again). I'm pooped, and this weekend shows no sign of being any less a scheduling nightmare.
I certainly hope you were able to relax this weekend, and though it was busy, I was spending time with my family and friends, which I would rather do than just about anything else!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
This weekend was VERY busy! Friday afternoon found us at the house, finishing the science fair project with the boys and a friend. They did the evolution of stuffed animals, and it turned out pretty cute! The Geez stopped by for a bit during this time, and The Dude wasn't here, so he left. Spent 3 hours fixing some malware on my folk's computer while The Dude and The Boys went to dinner at one of The Dude's Bro's homes with another brother, and The Geez.
Saturday Morning was the St. Patrick's Parade which The Boys were in, followed by the festival. It was so cold that I felt worse after being there than I had after going to the snow! We walked around, ate junk food, saw a bunch of people we know, and took in a blacksmith show, where The Oldest won a salt spoon made from an iron nail. It was a pretty cool show, and I'd recommend it if you see them about at a festival. The story we heard was the "No Weak Links", and it was very entertaining!
Sunday was The Youngest's Birthday Party at Chuck E. Cheese's. All the kids had fun, and even my nephews, who are 11 and 9 looked like they were having a good time amidst all the little kids! The Youngest got a bunch of cool toys and they've opened most, but I'm holding back a few for a week or so from now, or they'll never even remember about them! Got home, and the neighbors and a friend came over to play for the afternoon. I got to visit with my friend while they all entertained themselves, and we did some planning and brainstorming on how to help the boys' school in this budget nightmare.
Today, I'm pooped!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
More Bees?
Seriously, I think I need to re-examine my relationship to bees. Yesterday, I ran across this post, and today my oldest read this book. Both have bees or bee related items. To top it off, I've been drinking tea with honey for the past 2 nights because I've developed a chest cold, and I think the bees are winning, or at least deserve additional attention. I feel like this is another synchronous event that I need to pay attention to, so I am.
By the way, my dear friends in facebook think it's hysterically funny that I have a chest cold, or maybe they are reading it backward as cold chest. I've even been asked if I've been running around outside naked again...
Which I haven't in a really long time. Not since the Key West Police Department started giving t-shirts to women who were less clothed at Fantasy Fest. Sure, I've flashed for beads a few times, and I like my boobs, I think they are rather nice, in a pale freckly kind of way. But I reserve the pleasure of seeing them for my family. Yes, my sons regularly see me in a state of undress. I don't want them having any weird thoughts about naked bodies. My husband disagrees. He doesn't like seeing naked people, unless it's women who get paid to get naked, and even then only occasionally, and he certainly doesn't want any naked butts on his furniture. I think it's a weird hang up of his. I do draw the line at leaving the window shades open (lest you who know where I live get any bright ideas), answering the door, and working from home in the buff. I think it would be inherently odd to be talking to a VP of any company while naked.
Of course those are my hang-ups, and I completely support those who have a more or less strict view of nudity. It takes all kinds of people to make this world, and I don't begrudge anyone who can make it work for them.
Wow, this rambling post brought to you by the fine makers of Tylenol Cold night time formula...
Maybe Naked Jen has a good tea to get me back to normal. I have to remember to contact her in the morning, when I'm not in a rambling stupor.
By the way, my dear friends in facebook think it's hysterically funny that I have a chest cold, or maybe they are reading it backward as cold chest. I've even been asked if I've been running around outside naked again...
Which I haven't in a really long time. Not since the Key West Police Department started giving t-shirts to women who were less clothed at Fantasy Fest. Sure, I've flashed for beads a few times, and I like my boobs, I think they are rather nice, in a pale freckly kind of way. But I reserve the pleasure of seeing them for my family. Yes, my sons regularly see me in a state of undress. I don't want them having any weird thoughts about naked bodies. My husband disagrees. He doesn't like seeing naked people, unless it's women who get paid to get naked, and even then only occasionally, and he certainly doesn't want any naked butts on his furniture. I think it's a weird hang up of his. I do draw the line at leaving the window shades open (lest you who know where I live get any bright ideas), answering the door, and working from home in the buff. I think it would be inherently odd to be talking to a VP of any company while naked.
Of course those are my hang-ups, and I completely support those who have a more or less strict view of nudity. It takes all kinds of people to make this world, and I don't begrudge anyone who can make it work for them.
Wow, this rambling post brought to you by the fine makers of Tylenol Cold night time formula...
Maybe Naked Jen has a good tea to get me back to normal. I have to remember to contact her in the morning, when I'm not in a rambling stupor.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Ha, I survived!
Well, I did it, I survived pole climbing class. Three Motrin that night, and 3 more the next morning, and I'm still a bit sore, but not bad. It was more fun than I thought it would be and one teacher said I'd be a good tech. I suppose I could go in that direction, should I still be searching for an IT job in a couple of months. At least I have the training!
I did miss spending time with the boys, as I didn't really see them for a few days, and I've been tired from the 14 hour work days. Add to that the fact that annual appraisals are due at work, and I'm being shoved out the door, so my folks are suffering because I have no voice whatsoever to leadership, and it's made for a rather crummy day.
The pluses for today? I got to walk the boys home from school. And I had a Vice President of the company offer to be a referral, and help me in any way he could. That made me feel better about myself!
Frugality update? None. I've been eating junk again. I've got to break out of this cycle!
I said I'd put the post it car photos in on Friday, but I actually wasn't that pleased with them, so I'm adding them today. I think I'll send them to Art Car too, see if they make it up.
Monday, January 5, 2009
Monday and too much working
Today I did my usual work, starting at 8 AM. I added in some on-line training (5 hours worth) in between the other work things, and then went to live training for Phone Repair. That's right, this desk jockey is possibly going to be doing a stint as a repair tech for the phone company. I have my boots and everything! The training was fine, but it was 8 hours on top of what I'd already done. That puts me at a 14 hour day today. Plus I didn't get to see my boys after they'd gone to school. I already miss them. Tomorrow, I think I may have to sleep in.
Oh, and I snapped the cable on my parking brake, while it was engaged. While on dinner break from class. With the 3 other students sitting in my car. I was able to pull out the shredded remains, and feel around for the release clip. In the dark. With no flashlight and no offer of help from said passengers. Although the one guy offered to call AAA for me. I said never mind. So I knelt in a parking lot, with my head under my steering column, and one hand on the clip, and the other holding down the pedal. I managed it all in under 5 minutes - you read that right, FIVE MINUTES! We were on our way back when one of the passengers spilled an entire large coke in the back seat. So tomorrow I will be off to the shop for a cable, which I will install myself, and I will be washing both the inside and outside of the car.
Frugal parts of today?
Spent only $ on my sandwich from Togo's (less than $5). Brought my own drinks.
I did make the slow cooker roasted corn chowder for the family. It was bland and not very thick. Next time, less broth, more potatoes and maybe some cream. No one liked it, so I will try to revamp it tomorrow with seasonings, drain off some of the liquid, and add potatoes and cream. I am not going to throw it out though, because that would be a horrible waste! If all else fails, I throw in some lentils, as that's a bit what it tastes like already.
Oh, and I snapped the cable on my parking brake, while it was engaged. While on dinner break from class. With the 3 other students sitting in my car. I was able to pull out the shredded remains, and feel around for the release clip. In the dark. With no flashlight and no offer of help from said passengers. Although the one guy offered to call AAA for me. I said never mind. So I knelt in a parking lot, with my head under my steering column, and one hand on the clip, and the other holding down the pedal. I managed it all in under 5 minutes - you read that right, FIVE MINUTES! We were on our way back when one of the passengers spilled an entire large coke in the back seat. So tomorrow I will be off to the shop for a cable, which I will install myself, and I will be washing both the inside and outside of the car.
Frugal parts of today?
Spent only $ on my sandwich from Togo's (less than $5). Brought my own drinks.
I did make the slow cooker roasted corn chowder for the family. It was bland and not very thick. Next time, less broth, more potatoes and maybe some cream. No one liked it, so I will try to revamp it tomorrow with seasonings, drain off some of the liquid, and add potatoes and cream. I am not going to throw it out though, because that would be a horrible waste! If all else fails, I throw in some lentils, as that's a bit what it tastes like already.
Monday, November 24, 2008
I missed most of the AMAs last night. Everyone is either in the middle of or recovering from the flu, and we are all pretty wiped out. I'm particularly sorry I missed this duet, as I've been listening to Sarah for a couple of weeks now. I am however glad I finished all of my grocery shopping, as I'm down for the count today. Just got up to cancel meetings, and now on the way back to bed.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Three in the Morning
Remember when 3:00 am referred to the time you rolled in after clubbing? When you climbed into your bedroom window after ice blocking? When you realized you folks were going to totally bust you for being out so late?
My 3am was strange. Not in the traditional sense, but it did set me to giggling uncontrollably for about a half hour. Daisy (the cat of weird likes) brought in a mouse. Alive. Into my bedroom. Ron managed to chase her to the kitchen, while I went behind them closing all doors. I locked myself in the bedroom, and listened to the chair shuffling, the swearing, and the dog on the wood floors, sounding like a giraffe on roller skates. About 20 minutes later, Ron returns, grumbling and swearing about the cat, and the damned dog, standing between him and that damned mouse. Just the image of an off balance dog cornering a mouse, with Ron looming overhead in his undies started my giggles. It was quite a visual!
That's when I realized that Ron didn't even get dressed to take the mouse outside. I bet the juvenile delinquents that populate my neighborhood got quite the eyeful!
Just yesterday morning at 1:20am, the cat brought in another mouse, this one was dead though, and partially disemboweled. So while higher on the grossness scale, way lower on the exercise scale. That one went out straight away, leaving her meowing at it's empty space on the floor.
I'm okay with her killing, eviscerating, and even eating mice. I just don't want them in my house. Ever.
My 3am was strange. Not in the traditional sense, but it did set me to giggling uncontrollably for about a half hour. Daisy (the cat of weird likes) brought in a mouse. Alive. Into my bedroom. Ron managed to chase her to the kitchen, while I went behind them closing all doors. I locked myself in the bedroom, and listened to the chair shuffling, the swearing, and the dog on the wood floors, sounding like a giraffe on roller skates. About 20 minutes later, Ron returns, grumbling and swearing about the cat, and the damned dog, standing between him and that damned mouse. Just the image of an off balance dog cornering a mouse, with Ron looming overhead in his undies started my giggles. It was quite a visual!
That's when I realized that Ron didn't even get dressed to take the mouse outside. I bet the juvenile delinquents that populate my neighborhood got quite the eyeful!
Just yesterday morning at 1:20am, the cat brought in another mouse, this one was dead though, and partially disemboweled. So while higher on the grossness scale, way lower on the exercise scale. That one went out straight away, leaving her meowing at it's empty space on the floor.
I'm okay with her killing, eviscerating, and even eating mice. I just don't want them in my house. Ever.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I want to retire
Originally posted 8/19, and relevant still today.
I'm tired of corporate America. I'm over performance evaluations. I'm sick to death of acronyms and buzzwords. Seriosly. Terms like velocity, and fungibility make my skin crawl. Seems like some sleezy marketing type comes up with these watered down terms to try and whip people (now called resources) into a frenzy and become enthusiastic (now called buying in) about corporate domination (now called market saturation). The worst of it is Corporate right sizing - this term is used to mask lay-offs, off-shoring, and out sourcing. It is earily similar to spin doctoring in politics. Where genocide becomes ethnic cleansing, war becomes conflict, and Drilling for Oil becomes Exploring for Energy. This is lulling us into complacancy - I mean really - a conflict is something you have with a neighbor over leaves being blown into your yard. Makes an actual war look tame. Honey, I wasn't fired, I was right sized out of my company. This is ridiculous.
I'm tired of corporate America. I'm over performance evaluations. I'm sick to death of acronyms and buzzwords. Seriosly. Terms like velocity, and fungibility make my skin crawl. Seems like some sleezy marketing type comes up with these watered down terms to try and whip people (now called resources) into a frenzy and become enthusiastic (now called buying in) about corporate domination (now called market saturation). The worst of it is Corporate right sizing - this term is used to mask lay-offs, off-shoring, and out sourcing. It is earily similar to spin doctoring in politics. Where genocide becomes ethnic cleansing, war becomes conflict, and Drilling for Oil becomes Exploring for Energy. This is lulling us into complacancy - I mean really - a conflict is something you have with a neighbor over leaves being blown into your yard. Makes an actual war look tame. Honey, I wasn't fired, I was right sized out of my company. This is ridiculous.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Not Just Tired
Originally posted 7/21/08
Today I am tired, the bone weary tired you get after doing too much for too long with too little. I only wish it were the hung over after a week of parties tired, but it isn't. I have been running around, doing everything for everyone and not paying enough attention to myself. I am wife, mother, nurse, psychologist, marriage counselor, advice columnist, driver, financier, accountant, maid, laundress, and cook. I do bring home the bacon, and I do fry it up in a pan, and now I'm near the end of my own rope. The dream of having it all has gone down the tubes, replaced by the nightmare of having to do it all, with still little to show for it. Buried under a crippling mortgage, in a stale economy, and having to still organize play dates is going to be my unraveling. Really. I'm certain of it. I need a break. I won't get a break. It's the carrot in front of the horse trick. If I can only get past this one hurdle, than I'm home free. It's sysiphus and madness. I don't have time to worry about myself, and I know it will make my physically ill if I don't take care. I can't sleep. I have to be at the point of collapse to even get there, and once there my dreams are not peaceful. I wake up more exausted than I started and have to do even more. My job doesn't help with the never in reach bar being held higher and higher, and the glass ceiling getting lower every day. I know things will get better, eventually but I need eventually to be sooner rather than later. I do not snap at my kids (thankfully) and they are able to make me laugh and smile when nothing else can. I'm a mess. My house is a mess, and I can only try to keep the chaos down to a dull roar.I'm not just tired, I'm sick and tired.
Today I am tired, the bone weary tired you get after doing too much for too long with too little. I only wish it were the hung over after a week of parties tired, but it isn't. I have been running around, doing everything for everyone and not paying enough attention to myself. I am wife, mother, nurse, psychologist, marriage counselor, advice columnist, driver, financier, accountant, maid, laundress, and cook. I do bring home the bacon, and I do fry it up in a pan, and now I'm near the end of my own rope. The dream of having it all has gone down the tubes, replaced by the nightmare of having to do it all, with still little to show for it. Buried under a crippling mortgage, in a stale economy, and having to still organize play dates is going to be my unraveling. Really. I'm certain of it. I need a break. I won't get a break. It's the carrot in front of the horse trick. If I can only get past this one hurdle, than I'm home free. It's sysiphus and madness. I don't have time to worry about myself, and I know it will make my physically ill if I don't take care. I can't sleep. I have to be at the point of collapse to even get there, and once there my dreams are not peaceful. I wake up more exausted than I started and have to do even more. My job doesn't help with the never in reach bar being held higher and higher, and the glass ceiling getting lower every day. I know things will get better, eventually but I need eventually to be sooner rather than later. I do not snap at my kids (thankfully) and they are able to make me laugh and smile when nothing else can. I'm a mess. My house is a mess, and I can only try to keep the chaos down to a dull roar.I'm not just tired, I'm sick and tired.
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