Today there is just so much crap in my head. I am in the middle of training to do a job I shouldn't have to do, will likely not have to do, and feeling like it is a colossal waste of time. My company employs both union represented and non union represented people, as well as contractors, etc. Contracts are up for renegotiation, as they are every 3 years. Three years ago, I trained to climb poles (mind out of the gutter), nine years ago I trained to answer phones and questions on billing, No clue what was six, or twelve years ago - seem to have lost that in a fog. This year I had 50+ on line courses with an average of 2 hours each, and have 6 days and nights of live classroom training, located 2+ hours away from my home...
The Girl Scouts are trying to turn me into a diabetic cow. Insidious little kids with delicious cookies. And most are friends of my kids, so there is an obligation...
I feel like I need to eat less and move more. I am becoming too sedintary.
I feel like I am under threats from various places - finances and relationships primary. Thankfully, work (other than the training) and The Boys' school seem to be doing ok.
The Boys and The Dude were in AZ this past weekend, and they seem to have had fun. My weekend was relatively quiet, and I got some stuff done.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Tableau Tuesday 2/21/2012
Another week, another Tableau Tuesday - all photos taken this last weekend while in Nevada City for Mardi Gras:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday all!
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday all!
Monday, February 20, 2012
Monday Evening Weekend Wrap Up
This was a busy weekend. Not unusually so, but my usual level of busy would put lesser people in the ground...
Friday - The morning working, and the afternoon teaching art. After school, brought The Youngest home, while The Oldest had a DI meeting. Don't know what DI is? Go HERE. I packed myself and The Boys, and The Dude was already gone. After DI, I took The Boys to my Sister's house. She watched them while I had dinner with some friends I haven't seen in years. This is mostly due to The Dude's bridge burning, and my inability to fight for those friendships. They were all VERY supportive, and it wasn't as awkward as I feared. The one person who was invited and recently revealed an inappropriate relationship with The Dude, bowed out, and so it was a good dinner. There is still some interpersonal drama amongst that group, but I do not have the time nor inclination to get involved. Rode BART home and got to bed about 1:30 Saturday morning.
Saturday - I was wide awake at 6am, at my Sister's by 8:15 to pick up The Oldest, and off to the DI regional tournament. I worked the Score Room, and The Dude showed up at 11:30. My Sister dropped off The Youngest at noon, and I took a break to watch their Team Challenges. They both did a great job, and I was back in the score room until the final awards ceremony at 6pm. The Oldest's team is going to the State tournament, and the Youngest's isn't. The Youngest and one of his friends had melt downs, and it was not a fun ride out of there. I dropped The Boys at my folks' - with my Sister and Nephews, and my Sister's Youngest was able to pull The Youngest out of his funk. I left around 7:30 and drove for almost 3 hours to get to the Mardi Gras party in Nevada City. The party was still in full swing, and the inappropriate relationship person was there. I hadn't planned a response if she were, and ended up not even able to look at her, or acknowledge her in any way. I am a bit torn between feeling bad about it, and feeling proud that it wasn't more of a scene. I ended up having one drink and just going to bed at around midnight.
Sunday - slept in until 7am. Got up, had coffee, took a shower and got ready. Made breakfast for the house with friends from Friday's dinner, and walked around town before the parade. The Youngest called once while I was wandering. Got back in time to decorate my car and get the beads loaded in. The Youngest called a second time right before the parade. I drove the parade while listening to music, and throwing beads to the record crowd. After the parade, pitched in to clean up the house, and wandered back downtown to finish shopping. The Oldest called to ask when I would be home and if the parade was over. Volunteered to clean up from the Carnivale celebration, then had some fantastic Thai food for dinner. Back at the house for a couple of hours of visiting, and in bed around 11pm.
Monday - awake at 7am, packed up, bed stripped, and a cup of coffee before heading downtown for breakfast. More visiting and cleaning up and headed back home. The afternoon and evening were spent listening to The Dude become increasingly impatient with The Boys. They were sent to their rooms several times, once by me to have them clean up, the rest by The Dude as he couldn't take it anymore. I reminded him that he was to go out tonight, and he decided to stay in and take it out on us instead. Lucky me...
Some photos of Mardi Gras:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Friday - The morning working, and the afternoon teaching art. After school, brought The Youngest home, while The Oldest had a DI meeting. Don't know what DI is? Go HERE. I packed myself and The Boys, and The Dude was already gone. After DI, I took The Boys to my Sister's house. She watched them while I had dinner with some friends I haven't seen in years. This is mostly due to The Dude's bridge burning, and my inability to fight for those friendships. They were all VERY supportive, and it wasn't as awkward as I feared. The one person who was invited and recently revealed an inappropriate relationship with The Dude, bowed out, and so it was a good dinner. There is still some interpersonal drama amongst that group, but I do not have the time nor inclination to get involved. Rode BART home and got to bed about 1:30 Saturday morning.
Saturday - I was wide awake at 6am, at my Sister's by 8:15 to pick up The Oldest, and off to the DI regional tournament. I worked the Score Room, and The Dude showed up at 11:30. My Sister dropped off The Youngest at noon, and I took a break to watch their Team Challenges. They both did a great job, and I was back in the score room until the final awards ceremony at 6pm. The Oldest's team is going to the State tournament, and the Youngest's isn't. The Youngest and one of his friends had melt downs, and it was not a fun ride out of there. I dropped The Boys at my folks' - with my Sister and Nephews, and my Sister's Youngest was able to pull The Youngest out of his funk. I left around 7:30 and drove for almost 3 hours to get to the Mardi Gras party in Nevada City. The party was still in full swing, and the inappropriate relationship person was there. I hadn't planned a response if she were, and ended up not even able to look at her, or acknowledge her in any way. I am a bit torn between feeling bad about it, and feeling proud that it wasn't more of a scene. I ended up having one drink and just going to bed at around midnight.
Sunday - slept in until 7am. Got up, had coffee, took a shower and got ready. Made breakfast for the house with friends from Friday's dinner, and walked around town before the parade. The Youngest called once while I was wandering. Got back in time to decorate my car and get the beads loaded in. The Youngest called a second time right before the parade. I drove the parade while listening to music, and throwing beads to the record crowd. After the parade, pitched in to clean up the house, and wandered back downtown to finish shopping. The Oldest called to ask when I would be home and if the parade was over. Volunteered to clean up from the Carnivale celebration, then had some fantastic Thai food for dinner. Back at the house for a couple of hours of visiting, and in bed around 11pm.
Monday - awake at 7am, packed up, bed stripped, and a cup of coffee before heading downtown for breakfast. More visiting and cleaning up and headed back home. The afternoon and evening were spent listening to The Dude become increasingly impatient with The Boys. They were sent to their rooms several times, once by me to have them clean up, the rest by The Dude as he couldn't take it anymore. I reminded him that he was to go out tonight, and he decided to stay in and take it out on us instead. Lucky me...
Some photos of Mardi Gras:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
My Town Shoot Out - Scavenger Hunt
If you would like to see what others around the globe are shooting of their towns, I encourage you to go HERE.
This week's theme is a scavenger hunt from Queen Mother Mamaw for Wood, Metal and Stone. I had to reach into the way back machine for a suitable single image that covers all three:
This image is a reflection of a tree and metal construction beams in a puddle on cement, taken at the High School in my town.
Happy Friday all!
This week's theme is a scavenger hunt from Queen Mother Mamaw for Wood, Metal and Stone. I had to reach into the way back machine for a suitable single image that covers all three:
Happy Friday all!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Thoughtful Thursday
Today I am asking the universe (and anyone reading) for help for me. Just a thought or a good vibe, or even a prayer for clarity and peace. This week has brought another person forward who had an inappropriate relationship with the person I have been having a relationship with for half of my life. I've had a crisis of self that left me wracked with sobbing, hugging myself and rocking and trying not to wake up my kids. I am stretched thin on mental and emotional strength. I am left wondering if I am even capable of loving any person again, of trusting and giving my heart to another. I have been toying with the idea that I will be alone, and take occassional lovers, but to not have someone to share my life with makes me feel sad in a very intimate and personal way.
I can and likely do come across as a very strong person, cool and detached. But I also wear my heart on my sleeve, if you know what to look for, or even take the time to look at all. I'm feeling vulnerable and naked and raw. And not in a good way. Today I feel like a little kid who has just found out her best friend is conspiring against her. I want and need a hug. I won't get one. Not tonight, not tomorrow, or the day after that. I am torn between wanting to run to my parents and just tell them everything, and my need to not be under their scrutiny. That is its own special version of hell. I will have to tell them something soon, but with no movement toward resolution, I don't think it would be particularly helpful, or healthy.
So just think of me and send a good wish.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Tableau Tuesday 2/7/2012
This week was all about Macros. All shots taken at the school and field behind my house:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday All!
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday All!
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