A joke from my dad

Told to me yesterday while discussing a wedding my folks attended, and my dad was seated next to the priest and claimed that you can only be yourself to a certain degree.

I've mentioned previously that my dad is taking after his Uncle Jack in the joke telling department (he also looks alot like Uncle Jack).

A man is playing golf and hits his ball into the woods, knocking a leprechaun out cold. When he finds the ball, he revives the leprechaun, makes sure he's OK, offers to take him to hospital, but the leprechaun says he's just fine, and because of the man's kindness he will grant the man three wishes. The man refuses the request saying he has no need for wishes, checks to make sure the leprechaun will be OK, and goes on his way.

The leprechaun decides to grant the man three wishes anyway, to be the best golfer in the world, to have more money than he would ever need, and to have the greatest sex possible.

One year goes by and the man is playing the PGA tour, on the same course and hits his ball into the woods. It lands near the leprechaun, and when the man arrives the leprechaun asks how his year has been. The man says, it's been wonderful. The leprechaun asks about his golf game, and the man tells him he has never played better. The leprechaun asks if he is doing well financially and the man replies that he has never been wealthier. The leprechaun asks how his sex life is going and the man replies that it is OK. The leprechaun is stunned and asks why it's just OK. The man replies that he's having sex two or three times a week. The leprechaun is incredulous, saying it should be every night, to which the man replies, "Well, two to three times a week isn't too bad for a priest in a small town."

Love you Dad!

Things that make me laugh

Today, there are 2. The first is Mark's account of Owl stalking here.

The Second was courtesy of Dorthy Snarker, and The Boys and I watched it repeatedly - favorite lyric change? "I see a little silhouetto of a clam."


Happy Wednesday all!

I Had This already Written

Of course, that was at 5:30 this morning, while lying in bed, and because I fell back asleep at 6:00, I've forgotten most of what I was going to say. Rest assured, it was hilarious and pithy.

Why was I up at such an ungodly hour? Well, some neighborhood delinquent decided at 2:00 AM to race his/her mini bike up and down my street. As. Fast. As. Possible. Of course, because there was likely some sort of drug involved in that brilliant decision making process, one of the riders crashed into something down the street. I'm still not exactly sure what was crashed into, and there were no sirens, so probably their own house/trailer/truck. As the same, or maybe another rider raced up and down the street a few more times, I was thankful that my cat was sleeping (ok she was also awake at this point), on my feet. I turned to MDH and asked if he was awake - he was. Then my mind was awake and on its own journey, thinking about the things I've seen this week to make me smile, chuckle, or laugh out loud. And now I'm going to give those to you in the hope that you can have a smile or two.

I will get my 'My Town Shoot Out' up a bit later, because I have some folks coming over today, and I have the pics I want to use, but have to dig them out of the archives first.

First up, I may be really late to the party on this one, AND I don't have twitter (because no one gives a rat's ass what I'm doing at every moment of my day, and if they do, they are stalkers), but this has been making me laugh every day this week.

I found this at another blog, and was thinking how kind that they also included templates for shaving your hair down there.

This guy has been making me laugh with his take on office politics, and I've felt the same way more than once!

And finally, this was found by MDH, and passed along to me - warning, there are some images here that made me queasy, and some that actually made me laugh so hard, I thought I would pee!

TTFN!

Photo Fridays start today

I am starting a new Friday feature here - Photo Fridays. Like you couldn't have guessed from the title...

These will all be photos I have taken during the week. The goal is to take more pictures.


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Update on life and family - My dad had a heart incident Wednesday, that got him a ride in an ambulance, and a stint placed in an artery that was 90% blocked. He is feeling WAY better and at home today. This is a man who smoked for probably 45 years, didn't drink, but thinks steak and eggs is an appropriate daily breakfast, and fried pork chops and scalloped potatoes is a good healthy dinner. I am really glad that he will be around a while longer and I hope he will take care of himself to ensure that is the case. I've spent the week in training, which meant 14 hour days because I was also still working my regular job. Some of the photos this week are from the place I was at. It had some pretty cool industrial stuff to look at.

Frugality update - Found the tire in the tire swing photos above while walking the boys home from school. Already had the rope - total cost $0, and as you can tell, it is being thoroughly enjoyed. Ate leftovers for dinner, polishing off the meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Last night was leftovers too, as I'd been 2 days of free time in the hospital. Mended a pair of pants and 2 stuffed animals - the pants by machine, and the animals by hand.

And I will leave you with one of my dad's jokes, which he told to his nurse in emergency on Wednesday:
Three guys die on Christmas day and arrive at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter greets them and says, "In the spirit of this holy day, I will let you in, no questions asked, but only if you can show me something related to Christmas."
The first guy pulls a lighter out of his pocket, lights it, and says, "Candles!" St. Peter looks doubtful, but lets him in.
The second guys pulls out a set of keys, jangles them and says, "Bells!" St. Peter shakes his head, sighs and lets him in.
The third guy rummages around for quite a while before pulling out a pair of lace panties. St. Peter raises his eyebrows, and the guy says, "Well, these are Carol's!"

Good weekend to you!

Today is funny

My husband resembles a cross between the following 2 characters:

And he makes me laugh on a regular basis. In fact, I've always been a sucker for comedy. Anyone who makes me laugh is halfway into my pants. Make it a guy with fair skin, blue eyes and dark hair, or a gal with long legs, a tan and blond hair and I'm smitten!

When I need cheering up, I think back to a time when we were living in a 2 bedroom condo, and our bed looked into the bath. He was emerging from the shower, and slipped. He didn't fall, but did a whole Fred Flintstone backpedal thing that had me laughing so hard, I almost peed myself! He was mad because he could have been hurt, but just conjuring up that image today makes me laugh all over again! I know, I'm probably going to hell for laughing at his near injury, but honestly, a dripping wet naked man who looks like Fred Flintstone? Hilarious!

And me today? I resemble Pearl Slaghoople:

Uncle Jack

Originally posted 9/2, and the final installment of "from the other blog".

My Grandfather Frank on the Left, and Uncle Jack on the right.

My dad's Uncle Jack died on Friday. In his prime, he was a Merchant Marine working the SF bay. He was 6'8" and 300+ lbs. of solid muscle. Uncle Jack is Irish, as is that side of my family, and his full name was John L. Sullivan. My Great Grandmother named both sons after famous people. My Grandfather's middle name was Xavier, after Xavier Cugat. Today is the Rosary and Viewing, and tomorrow is the funeral. Thursday is the burial, and sometime this week will be the wake. Uncle Jack was the last left of his generation in my family, and now there is only one generation ahead of mine. I am lucky that my folks are still around and young, and relatively healthy. Even though I was not especially close to Uncle Jack, I will miss him. My dad looks like a smaller version of Jack, and has picked up Jack's penchant for jokes. I'll be posting more as time and memory serve, but here is one:

An Irish woman marries young and has 10 children. After the 10th, her husband dies. She marries another Irishman and has 10 more children. She passes away shortly after the 20th child is born. At her grave site, the priest looks down to the graves, and says (in a brogue), "Aye, at least they'll be together now". The husband is enraged, and says, "Oy, now what's that to mean? Surely I gave that woman the last good years of her life!" To which the priest replies, "I'm not talkin' bout her and her first husband, I was talking about her legs."

I miss you Uncle Jack.