Originally posted 8/25/08
Today was my youngest son's first day of kindergarten. I admit it, I cried. I cried when I was getting ready, thinking of his life so far, and what an awesome kid he is. I was also reflecting on this summer and how difficult it has been, and how my entire family was almost wiped out in a mere instant in time. We all survived, and while the physical scars are minimal, the emotional ones run rather deep for us all. The youngest has been sleeping with, and carrying about a teddy bear since the accident. The Bear's name is Barry, and starting to get a bit worn, but he has helped get us through a tough summer. I wish I had a Barry at times. My oldest went back to sleeping with a Silky - this smallish square of blanket, and spent many nightmare nights cuddling with me on the couch. I find myself crying at weird times, and the accident comes back to me when I am driving, and I get anxious and panicky all over again. And my husband - he's only been awake an average of 6 hours a day. He's bi-polar and depressed, and if you have ever lived with someone while they are balancing meds, then you know what we've been going through. He's also on anti-seizure meds, since it was a seizure that caused the accident in the first place. He's got his own demons of guilt to deal with, and there have been times when I wonder if it is all worth waiting around for.
Then, on days like today, when I see my boys sitting together in the cafeteria, eating lunch and sharing. Or now, when they are playing with the hose in the backyard. I am filled with such awe and love, that I start crying all over again.
They really are neat kids.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
It's about Love
I watched this last night, and my first thought was that I really haven't given Olbermann a fair shake. I don't watch his show, and the only exposure I'd had was clips on The Soup, so I wasn't rushing to watch. Now I'll be setting my TiVo for 2 hours each night to catch both Keith and Rachel Maddow (who I do watch).
Thank-you Keith Olbermann for voicing what we already knew - this is about Love. Even though this was masked under lots of other things like religion and lies, you get it and I hope others who watch the clip will too.
Monday, November 10, 2008
Funny in Retrospect
Originally Posted 8/22/08
So my boys got up two days ago and upon entering the bathroom, my oldest exclaims, "MOOOOMMMM, It smells horrible in there!", while gagging and holding his mouth and nose. In my early morning, pre-coffee state, I innocently ask, "What exactly does it smell like?" thinking maybe the dog peed on the floor, or someone threw up grass overnight (Dog or cat, it's usually anyone's guess). To which he replied, "It smells like bad cheese and pee!" So I go in to investigate, still willing to blame an animal of the four legged variety. Come to find out, my 2 adorable male children have been using the bathtub like a men's room trough at a MLB game. The same tub they bathe in, the same tub that has rubber duckies lying on the bottom now in pools of kid pee. Gross.
I leave the bathroom, and inform my husband that these are boy things to deal with, and since he hasn't stressed the disgusting factor of such an action, he gets to clean it up. Besides, I was on my way to drop of the boys at his mother's, and go to work. On the way, I talked to the boys about germs, and appropriate indoor plumbing usage, and told them if they weren't willing to use the toilet, then I would lock the door, and drive them to the gas station to use that one. My oldest loves this idea since he must use EVERY public restroom in EVERY place we enter. The youngest was appalled.
I actually considered adding a urinal or a pee trough to the backyard, but we've only recently mastered "You aren't in the backwoods, on a hike, so do NOT pee in our backyard, anyone else's backyard, or the school yard." That was a tough few years.
In retrospect, I suppose it's pretty funny - at the time, not so much.
So my boys got up two days ago and upon entering the bathroom, my oldest exclaims, "MOOOOMMMM, It smells horrible in there!", while gagging and holding his mouth and nose. In my early morning, pre-coffee state, I innocently ask, "What exactly does it smell like?" thinking maybe the dog peed on the floor, or someone threw up grass overnight (Dog or cat, it's usually anyone's guess). To which he replied, "It smells like bad cheese and pee!" So I go in to investigate, still willing to blame an animal of the four legged variety. Come to find out, my 2 adorable male children have been using the bathtub like a men's room trough at a MLB game. The same tub they bathe in, the same tub that has rubber duckies lying on the bottom now in pools of kid pee. Gross.
I leave the bathroom, and inform my husband that these are boy things to deal with, and since he hasn't stressed the disgusting factor of such an action, he gets to clean it up. Besides, I was on my way to drop of the boys at his mother's, and go to work. On the way, I talked to the boys about germs, and appropriate indoor plumbing usage, and told them if they weren't willing to use the toilet, then I would lock the door, and drive them to the gas station to use that one. My oldest loves this idea since he must use EVERY public restroom in EVERY place we enter. The youngest was appalled.
I actually considered adding a urinal or a pee trough to the backyard, but we've only recently mastered "You aren't in the backwoods, on a hike, so do NOT pee in our backyard, anyone else's backyard, or the school yard." That was a tough few years.
In retrospect, I suppose it's pretty funny - at the time, not so much.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Disappointed
I am disappointed in my state of California. This is the "sunshine" state, and home to MANY rainbow flags, yet there is a slim majority of people in this great state who believe that an existing right must be taken away from our citizens.
Proposition 8
It is not about what is taught in school.
It is not about religion.
It is not about forcing anyone to do anything.
Proposition 8 supporters managed to convince people that there should be fear about gays and lesbians. That their lives and the lives of their children would be taken over by the so called "gay agenda". They are wrong, and what they are teaching their children about love and tolerance and acceptance is wrong.
My continuing hope is that all people be treated with love and care, and that who you love will not cause persecution. I want my own children to be free to marry who they love. I want the children of intolerant people to know that they are not alone, and they are loved as well. I really do not want to see us going back to a time when teenagers thought it was appropriate to commit suicide, rather than be who they are.
The teen years are difficult enough, without the knowledge that your own government does not protect your rights.
Shame on California, shame on all of us.
Proposition 8
It is not about what is taught in school.
It is not about religion.
It is not about forcing anyone to do anything.
Proposition 8 supporters managed to convince people that there should be fear about gays and lesbians. That their lives and the lives of their children would be taken over by the so called "gay agenda". They are wrong, and what they are teaching their children about love and tolerance and acceptance is wrong.
My continuing hope is that all people be treated with love and care, and that who you love will not cause persecution. I want my own children to be free to marry who they love. I want the children of intolerant people to know that they are not alone, and they are loved as well. I really do not want to see us going back to a time when teenagers thought it was appropriate to commit suicide, rather than be who they are.
The teen years are difficult enough, without the knowledge that your own government does not protect your rights.
Shame on California, shame on all of us.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Is this weird?
Originally posted 8/20
My cat Daisy likes yogurt covered raisins. I think it's a bit weird since she doesn't like either by themselves. She is a weird animal. She's very mouthy - biting me to wake me up in the morning, biting my ankles on the way to her food bowl, biting the dog when he's asleep and she wants to play. In fact all of my animals have had odd behavioral ticks.
TC (Third Cat) liked to fetch McDonald's cheeseburger wrappers. She'd fetch all sorts of other things too, but she liked the wrappers best. She'd bring them back and fetch again and again, for an hour or more. This was WAY before kids.
Stella the cat liked to ride and sleep on my shoulder. She greeted everyone who entered our home at the door, and had to sniff them before allowing entrance. She was after TC passed, and the alpha animal until her own passing after 15 years.
Molly the cat coexisted with Stella and was horribly fat. Her nickname was Fat Mol. When she would bite something, she would clamp her jaw like a dog, and not let go. It was cute on pizza crust, not so much on my knuckle.
Josie the dog - so named because we got her after Stella and Molly. She was a stray, and part Border Collie. She would pace in a triangle to all entrances to the house. I guess she never realized if she only laid near the back door, she could see the other two. She was very sweet, but eventually went insane and started attacking the other dog (who we will get to in a minute), and growling at the kids.
Duke the dog - he was a shelter dog, and is now about 15 years old. Half German Shepherd and half Chow, with the blue tongue, and the big ruff around his neck. He still acts like a puppy most days, but does spend alot of time asleep. Actually that is his only quirk. I guess he's the mellowest pet we've ever had. Oh wait, when the neighborhood delinquents light off fireworks he goes insane, and pulls a Houdini on every type of enclosure we've ever had, somehow gets out of the house and yard, and runs until exhausted. He then scratches at the nearest front door, and those people call us. In fact, our neighborhood knows him so well, I will get calls with sightings of Duke, and I am usually able to recover him before he gets too far. This only happens when he is home alone (or with Daisy), and we've found that locking him in the house with the TV on keeps him home usually.
My cat Daisy likes yogurt covered raisins. I think it's a bit weird since she doesn't like either by themselves. She is a weird animal. She's very mouthy - biting me to wake me up in the morning, biting my ankles on the way to her food bowl, biting the dog when he's asleep and she wants to play. In fact all of my animals have had odd behavioral ticks.
TC (Third Cat) liked to fetch McDonald's cheeseburger wrappers. She'd fetch all sorts of other things too, but she liked the wrappers best. She'd bring them back and fetch again and again, for an hour or more. This was WAY before kids.
Stella the cat liked to ride and sleep on my shoulder. She greeted everyone who entered our home at the door, and had to sniff them before allowing entrance. She was after TC passed, and the alpha animal until her own passing after 15 years.
Molly the cat coexisted with Stella and was horribly fat. Her nickname was Fat Mol. When she would bite something, she would clamp her jaw like a dog, and not let go. It was cute on pizza crust, not so much on my knuckle.
Josie the dog - so named because we got her after Stella and Molly. She was a stray, and part Border Collie. She would pace in a triangle to all entrances to the house. I guess she never realized if she only laid near the back door, she could see the other two. She was very sweet, but eventually went insane and started attacking the other dog (who we will get to in a minute), and growling at the kids.
Duke the dog - he was a shelter dog, and is now about 15 years old. Half German Shepherd and half Chow, with the blue tongue, and the big ruff around his neck. He still acts like a puppy most days, but does spend alot of time asleep. Actually that is his only quirk. I guess he's the mellowest pet we've ever had. Oh wait, when the neighborhood delinquents light off fireworks he goes insane, and pulls a Houdini on every type of enclosure we've ever had, somehow gets out of the house and yard, and runs until exhausted. He then scratches at the nearest front door, and those people call us. In fact, our neighborhood knows him so well, I will get calls with sightings of Duke, and I am usually able to recover him before he gets too far. This only happens when he is home alone (or with Daisy), and we've found that locking him in the house with the TV on keeps him home usually.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Bittersweet
Today I am Happy, and I am anxious. I am proud to be an American because we finally got our collective shit together and elected a Black Man as our President. I am hopeful about the future of our country as we all struggle to survive the current financial crisis, and improve our name in the World at large. We will need to continue to work together, harder than ever, to ensure we can all see this through. Now is the time for change for the better, of healing old, deep and gangrenous wounds. Now is the time to serve our country in the ways we can, by reaching out to our neighbors and collectively lifting us all up to a better place. We have done this before, and we can do it again.
We are America, and we are survivors.
I am also anxious today because a fundamental right may be striped from a minority population in my state of California. I'm talking about Proposition 8, an insidious, hateful proposition that places people into secondary citizenship because of love, and in the name of tradition and religion. I am waiting for the final vote tally, as mine is one of the absentee ballots that could swing this whole thing around.
I am proud of America, and hopeful for California.
We are America, and we are survivors.
I am also anxious today because a fundamental right may be striped from a minority population in my state of California. I'm talking about Proposition 8, an insidious, hateful proposition that places people into secondary citizenship because of love, and in the name of tradition and religion. I am waiting for the final vote tally, as mine is one of the absentee ballots that could swing this whole thing around.
I am proud of America, and hopeful for California.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I want to retire
Originally posted 8/19, and relevant still today.
I'm tired of corporate America. I'm over performance evaluations. I'm sick to death of acronyms and buzzwords. Seriosly. Terms like velocity, and fungibility make my skin crawl. Seems like some sleezy marketing type comes up with these watered down terms to try and whip people (now called resources) into a frenzy and become enthusiastic (now called buying in) about corporate domination (now called market saturation). The worst of it is Corporate right sizing - this term is used to mask lay-offs, off-shoring, and out sourcing. It is earily similar to spin doctoring in politics. Where genocide becomes ethnic cleansing, war becomes conflict, and Drilling for Oil becomes Exploring for Energy. This is lulling us into complacancy - I mean really - a conflict is something you have with a neighbor over leaves being blown into your yard. Makes an actual war look tame. Honey, I wasn't fired, I was right sized out of my company. This is ridiculous.
I'm tired of corporate America. I'm over performance evaluations. I'm sick to death of acronyms and buzzwords. Seriosly. Terms like velocity, and fungibility make my skin crawl. Seems like some sleezy marketing type comes up with these watered down terms to try and whip people (now called resources) into a frenzy and become enthusiastic (now called buying in) about corporate domination (now called market saturation). The worst of it is Corporate right sizing - this term is used to mask lay-offs, off-shoring, and out sourcing. It is earily similar to spin doctoring in politics. Where genocide becomes ethnic cleansing, war becomes conflict, and Drilling for Oil becomes Exploring for Energy. This is lulling us into complacancy - I mean really - a conflict is something you have with a neighbor over leaves being blown into your yard. Makes an actual war look tame. Honey, I wasn't fired, I was right sized out of my company. This is ridiculous.
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