I dream - I'm sure I dream often, but I do not remember most of my dreams upon waking. This morning was the exception. Because it has stayed with me for hours now, I obviously just need to get it out of my brain.
I (and many others) were in a Chinese prison camp of sorts - that is at least the closest I can come to a general description. It looked mostly like a combo of the inside of Urban Ore in Berkeley, the old Wolf Books in San Leandro, and the room of requirement from Harry Potter. So basically junk everywhere. dusty, not well lit, beams of light through dust in sparse shafts, not really illuminating the ground. Your eyes adjust however. We were dressed in prison drab grey/blue, collarless button up shirts, and pajama type pants. There had to be shoes, but no clue what they were like. We were dirty, dusty, grimy, sweaty and greasy. We were supposed to be digging through all of the junk and sorting it to be taken away. I was deep in the room? warehouse? with another person (think Nathan Fillion), and we were members of a resistance movement. We were looking through the junk for evidence of the propaganda being false information in order to topple the regime. I ended up finding a passport of one of the regime, but it was a US passport, claiming the regime leader was indeed a US citizen, not a Chinese National as he claimed. The passport was inside the back of an antique camera. Once I found it, there was a raid, and I was unable to get back to my resistance cohort, as we ran in different directions. I dodged into an alcove to discover a stairway going up, but it was carved into a stone wall and more of a ladder, steep with notches in the stone every 3 feet. Would have been easy to miss, but I started up as fast as I could, with regime guards on my heels. I was not high enough (around a bend in the stone) to be unseen when the guard started into the alcove, and another prisoner caught his attention, speaking in rapid Chinese, allowing me the additional time to get out of sight. I remember thinking I should know Chinese by now.
In the clear light and heat of the day, I now realize how much this dream resembles a potential scene in Firefly... I don't think it is an actual scene, but it was weirdly haunting as I woke from the dream twice before it had ended, and still vividly remember it this afternoon.
Showing posts with label nightmare. Show all posts
Showing posts with label nightmare. Show all posts
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Monday, December 26, 2011
The Aftermath
Christmas is over, toys are played with, food is eaten, and I am still here. The Dude is still here. I am growing more and more angry with him, and he is being more and more of an ass to me and the kids. The hyper criticality and general anger aimed at us all is just pissing me off. Today, I took The Boys shopping with their Christmas money after The Dude reminded me at least 4 times that I should do so... THEN he had the audacity to complain that The Boys actually spent their money... The Oldest had a friend over, and The Dude, on one of his rants was being an ass, and swearing when this kid was here, further embarrassing The Oldest, and making him feel like shit. I stepped in and told The Dude to take a time out, and then he started arguing with me WHY he was justified in being such an ass. And what was it about? Recyclables... The Oldest placed items on the counter for recycling, when The Dude had asked him to put them in the trash. The Dude asked why The Oldest didn't just take them out to recycling right then. So The Oldest at that moment took the recycling out, and I joined him, taking all of the fucking DIET PEPSI empty cases out, which THE DUDE hadn't taken out in god knows how long. The hypocracy may make me shoot someone eventually.
The great and noble Dude who rides in on his white horse when women are being taken advantage of, does the same to his wife... Fuck me.
The great and noble Dude who rides in on his white horse when women are being taken advantage of, does the same to his wife... Fuck me.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tuesday Morning Weekend Wrap Up
Because this is a holiday weekend here in the U.S., I have to take multiple sessions to post all that went on. As you may have seen, Friday was my 44th birthday. I took the afternoon off of work so that I could drive to Turlock to return my mother-in-law's car. It was 111 degrees in Turlock. That is fucking hot. We had lunch and visited for a couple of hours and stopped at Bass Pro Shops in Manteca on the way home. Yes, that is really the name of the town. Yes I know it means lard. I'm sure the people of Manteca know it too. because we brought the wiener dog on the trip to visit, I waited in the car with the engine and A/C running, while The Dude took The Boys into the shops.That night, The Dude wanted to go to dinner for my birthday, so I found a friend to watch The Boys, and we had a nice dinner at another friend's restaurant where The Dude wanted to talk about "us", and I just wanted to have a nice dinner without being reminded of all of the things that are wrong in our relationship and/or lives. After dinner we visited with the friends who were watching The Boys, and rolled in about midnight.
Saturday was still over 100 here, and I spent the morning helping a friend set up for her son's 1/2 birthday party, and my birthday party as well. It was an afternoon/evening party with Electric Lemonade that went down far too easily and my good friends and all the kids and a magician and ribs and laughter and music and lots of smiles. Just what The Boys and I needed. We were there from 3 to midnight and it made me very happy.
Sunday The Boys were at another birthday party with an inflatable water slide, and I hung out there instead of being in my hotter than Hell home, folding freshly dried laundry. It was too hot to cook, so I asked The Dude to barbecue some chicken, but it was still too hot to eat until after 8. I sat in the backyard after the sun went down to write this and read a little and have some time to myself.
Monday The Dude took The Youngest to a skate park while I listened to The Oldest practice piano. I also went to the store for a few things, and folded all of that laundry. We went to a friend of The Dude's for a barbecue/swim party. We were there for 5 hours during which I must have pissed off The Dude, as he sulked and was tantrumish when we left. We went to one of my friend's to set off fireworks and stayed until 11. That was cool, another friend was there and The Boys had a tiring and busy day with swimming and eating and just being out doors all day and night. The Dude threw a bit of a fit late at night over something stupid, and I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm trying to not let his moods dictate my actions words and moods and that is clearly pissing him off. Oh well.
This is going through my head again lately:
I have some serious work to do, and I'm ready to do it. I know the path is going to be difficult and at the end it will be worth it, but it's still kind of suckish that I have to do it in the first place. What lesson did I not learn last time around?
Saturday was still over 100 here, and I spent the morning helping a friend set up for her son's 1/2 birthday party, and my birthday party as well. It was an afternoon/evening party with Electric Lemonade that went down far too easily and my good friends and all the kids and a magician and ribs and laughter and music and lots of smiles. Just what The Boys and I needed. We were there from 3 to midnight and it made me very happy.
Sunday The Boys were at another birthday party with an inflatable water slide, and I hung out there instead of being in my hotter than Hell home, folding freshly dried laundry. It was too hot to cook, so I asked The Dude to barbecue some chicken, but it was still too hot to eat until after 8. I sat in the backyard after the sun went down to write this and read a little and have some time to myself.
Monday The Dude took The Youngest to a skate park while I listened to The Oldest practice piano. I also went to the store for a few things, and folded all of that laundry. We went to a friend of The Dude's for a barbecue/swim party. We were there for 5 hours during which I must have pissed off The Dude, as he sulked and was tantrumish when we left. We went to one of my friend's to set off fireworks and stayed until 11. That was cool, another friend was there and The Boys had a tiring and busy day with swimming and eating and just being out doors all day and night. The Dude threw a bit of a fit late at night over something stupid, and I'm not going to dwell on it. I'm trying to not let his moods dictate my actions words and moods and that is clearly pissing him off. Oh well.
This is going through my head again lately:
I have some serious work to do, and I'm ready to do it. I know the path is going to be difficult and at the end it will be worth it, but it's still kind of suckish that I have to do it in the first place. What lesson did I not learn last time around?
Monday, November 30, 2009
Laugh of the day and random things
Today's laugh comes from Granny on the Web.
My ass bones hurt. Why? you very well may inquire, and I will tell that it was not some wild sexcapade reminiscent of the 70's swing scene (when I was in actuality a small child, and not participating in those sorts of activities). I FINALLY got the use of a bicycle locker at work. This means I can lock up my bike in a more secure manner, eliminating the need to strip off everything of value, and it takes me far less time to dismount and get to my desk! The distance is only a bit over 4 miles each way. It took me 30 minutes this morning, sans coffee in 45 degree weather, and only 20 minutes to get home. It was warmer coming home, but I think it's mostly because I got a dismissive look from a 20 something hipster doofus, as I sat upon my commuter bike, panniers stuffed, and coffee cup holder on the handle bar. So I kept up with him the entire way - humph, there ya go sonny boy! I'll have to get a photo, as I'm sure the humor of that alone may brighten someone's day!
I've had some extremely disturbing and recurring dreams this weekend. I think it was due to Barry's recent post. My dreamscape is filled with dying, paralyzed and already dead dogs, and dogs left to die, and a huge pile of bones on the beach. I've had the dream 3 nights running, and I know I've had it in the past as well. Need to go the dream meanings website and check on it.
OK - for Dog: If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts.
Beach: To see the beach in your dream, symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.
Bones: To see bones in your dream, suggests the discovery of your personal, family, or cultural secrets. It is also symbolic of your underlying strengths that you have not yet recognized. Consider the symbolism of getting to the "bare bones" or the significance of "having a bone to pick with someone."
Paralyzed: symbolically, dreaming that you are paralyzed may mean you are feeling helpless or pinned down in some aspects or circumstances of your waking life. You may feel unable to deal with a situation or that you can't do or change anything. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling emotionally paralyzed. You are having difficulties expressing your feelings.
Well, I can probably get to what this is all about, and what it requires, which is more work on listening to myself, and paying closer attention to all that is going on around me. I know where I need to go, I know my path, and I think I've wandered a bit too far into the woods - time to get back on track!
Overheard the boys using the word "tussle", as in "Are you trying to tussle with me?" No doubt a modified version of "Are you talkin' to me?"
Today The Oldest is wearing his banana costume and a Santa Hat, declaring himself Banana Clause.
Done with the majority of decorations inside - still need to do my santa hats all around, and the outdoor decor will get up when The Dude gets around to it (maybe next week). Invitations are out for The Oldest's 9th parties (yes, you read that right). One for family, and one for school friends, which I will post about at some other time.
Having last week off of work completely rocked, but having to go back today? Not. So. Much. Though riding in made me feel like I was doing something good for myself, and provided a nice mental break. The boys feel the same way, as all 3 of them were doing homework after school today and acting less than delighted by the task. I think we need a more Zen like attitude, or is that Pennsylvania Dutch? ( I get my "doing simple things simply and using the task and time for meditation/prayer" stuff mixed up.)
Oh, and I have a splitting headache because The Boys have been listening to this Looney Tunes animated musical ornaments thing that I've had FOREVER. Think this:
My ass bones hurt. Why? you very well may inquire, and I will tell that it was not some wild sexcapade reminiscent of the 70's swing scene (when I was in actuality a small child, and not participating in those sorts of activities). I FINALLY got the use of a bicycle locker at work. This means I can lock up my bike in a more secure manner, eliminating the need to strip off everything of value, and it takes me far less time to dismount and get to my desk! The distance is only a bit over 4 miles each way. It took me 30 minutes this morning, sans coffee in 45 degree weather, and only 20 minutes to get home. It was warmer coming home, but I think it's mostly because I got a dismissive look from a 20 something hipster doofus, as I sat upon my commuter bike, panniers stuffed, and coffee cup holder on the handle bar. So I kept up with him the entire way - humph, there ya go sonny boy! I'll have to get a photo, as I'm sure the humor of that alone may brighten someone's day!
I've had some extremely disturbing and recurring dreams this weekend. I think it was due to Barry's recent post. My dreamscape is filled with dying, paralyzed and already dead dogs, and dogs left to die, and a huge pile of bones on the beach. I've had the dream 3 nights running, and I know I've had it in the past as well. Need to go the dream meanings website and check on it.
OK - for Dog: If the dog is dead or dying, then it indicates a loss of a good friend. Alternatively, it represents a deterioration of your instincts.
Beach: To see the beach in your dream, symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.
Bones: To see bones in your dream, suggests the discovery of your personal, family, or cultural secrets. It is also symbolic of your underlying strengths that you have not yet recognized. Consider the symbolism of getting to the "bare bones" or the significance of "having a bone to pick with someone."
Paralyzed: symbolically, dreaming that you are paralyzed may mean you are feeling helpless or pinned down in some aspects or circumstances of your waking life. You may feel unable to deal with a situation or that you can't do or change anything. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are feeling emotionally paralyzed. You are having difficulties expressing your feelings.
Well, I can probably get to what this is all about, and what it requires, which is more work on listening to myself, and paying closer attention to all that is going on around me. I know where I need to go, I know my path, and I think I've wandered a bit too far into the woods - time to get back on track!
Overheard the boys using the word "tussle", as in "Are you trying to tussle with me?" No doubt a modified version of "Are you talkin' to me?"
Today The Oldest is wearing his banana costume and a Santa Hat, declaring himself Banana Clause.
Done with the majority of decorations inside - still need to do my santa hats all around, and the outdoor decor will get up when The Dude gets around to it (maybe next week). Invitations are out for The Oldest's 9th parties (yes, you read that right). One for family, and one for school friends, which I will post about at some other time.
Having last week off of work completely rocked, but having to go back today? Not. So. Much. Though riding in made me feel like I was doing something good for myself, and provided a nice mental break. The boys feel the same way, as all 3 of them were doing homework after school today and acting less than delighted by the task. I think we need a more Zen like attitude, or is that Pennsylvania Dutch? ( I get my "doing simple things simply and using the task and time for meditation/prayer" stuff mixed up.)
Oh, and I have a splitting headache because The Boys have been listening to this Looney Tunes animated musical ornaments thing that I've had FOREVER. Think this:
but with each character having been split apart with the added ability to hang on the tree. It cycles through 21 holiday classics, and makes my head hurt. We listened all Sunday while decorating the tree, and for 2 hours after school today.
Oh, and I'm totally loving this show. It's the message that I love, not necessarily the people they run into, though that is entertaining as it's own commentary on society.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Nightmare du jour
I woke up this morning at 5:00 because of a horrible nightmare.
I was at work, and got called into a meeting in a conference room, which is weird because I only ever have phone meetings. One of my peers and my boss were there - also weird because I didn't recognize either one from my present life. There, my peer told me that we were combining teams, and she was going to be the supervisor. I said, "okay, then where does that leave me?" My peer looked at my boss, who stood up and brought a piece of paper over, and said that my services were no longer needed, and she showed me the paper, while intentionally covering some part of information. I was aghast! I had trained the peer, and now she was taking my job.
I suppose this isn't really a particularly weird dream overall, given the current economy and the paranoia displayed where I work.
I was at work, and got called into a meeting in a conference room, which is weird because I only ever have phone meetings. One of my peers and my boss were there - also weird because I didn't recognize either one from my present life. There, my peer told me that we were combining teams, and she was going to be the supervisor. I said, "okay, then where does that leave me?" My peer looked at my boss, who stood up and brought a piece of paper over, and said that my services were no longer needed, and she showed me the paper, while intentionally covering some part of information. I was aghast! I had trained the peer, and now she was taking my job.
I suppose this isn't really a particularly weird dream overall, given the current economy and the paranoia displayed where I work.
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