Holiday thoughts

So this is the first year in The Boys entire lives that they will not wake up at my home on Christmas morning. Corky didn't spend the night either, which leaves me as the only human in my home on Christmas Eve. Two Dogs, a cat and several fish, while nice, are not the best companions when one is feeling sad and missing her babies. (Me. I am missing my babies). I have not been without them on Christmas morning ever. NOT EVER. Since they came out of my body, they have spent EVERY Christmas morning here with me. I have seen their faces light up with glee at their stockings and presents and the magic of it all. Now they are old enough to know the truth about Santa, but still young enough to love the magic, and I won't get to see that. I miss them. Horribly.

Christmas Eve was spent with dear friends, and it was very nice, and there was laughter, and a seance, and my deceased godmother, so pretty cool. I love that I wasn't moping about at home because right now, sitting here, it is lonely. I will wake up lonely and I will probably cry between now and then, and also when I awaken without the sounds of sneaking children and whispered excitement.

This is a tough year for so many people I know, as well as people I don't. I hurt for all of us. I wish for everyone to have peace in their hearts, to be able to be themselves without fear, and to know they are loved.