Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Wicked Wednesday #7

After a long reprieve I am returning to regular posting and so another story from this time in my life.
Wicked Wednesdays all began with this post. I'll regale you with another night of drinking that went horribly, horribly wrong. If you are under the age of consent for wherever you live in the universe, take these as cautionary tales. If you are like me and have had your share of poor judgement moments, then we can laugh together. Yes that is a picture of me with a lampshade on my head, doing the shimmy. I will not be posting the names of my cohorts in these wanton ways, but for clarification, will identify them by an initial of their names.

During my first year of college (where the above photo was taken), my two roommates and I were called the Triplets, and we could not be more different from one another - from the short blond with a mean swagger, to the tall read headed Catholic school girl, and the freckly brunette in the middle, we were quite the sight! We did drink heavily all year, from the liquor store that delivered to the dorms... One party in particular is hazily present in my mind. I believe it was Halloween, and we went as 3 blind mice.
Look at the hair and skinny ties - it was the 80's...
One of the colleges had a party - the theater arts college - and there was alot of acid, and Billy Rainbow, and mattresses lining the stairwells, and plastic sheeting, and bubbles, and I drank WAY too much Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers, on top of a rib dinner. I got to the party, after drinking and eating and riding the shuttle, and promptly threw up in the bushes. I laid down nearby and sent the rest of the Triplets on to the party. I passed out, was kicked a couple of times, and threw up a bunch more. When my roomies came back for me, we decided to walk to the base of campus - in the dark, with no street lights, about 5 miles. We had heard of a party off campus that we decided to go to. We never made it. We walked about halfway there, and were egged by a car full of high school students. Drunk, stumbling, and covered in raw egg, we started back to campus. It was late, and thankfully were able to catch the final shuttle to the dorms.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Tableau Tuesday 11/29/2011

Some of the things I saw this last week:

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Monday, November 28, 2011

My day got better

After watching this:

Music Monday Weekend Wrap Up

A flurry of activity this weekend. I took last week off of work, so it seemed like I crammed all of the activity into this weekend.
Friday - spent the early part of the day putting up most of the interior Christmas decorations, with the help of The Boys. The Dude went SCUBA diving, or to lend boat support, or something. Had Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house with Sis, Nephews, Aunt, Sis' friend, my folks and The Boys. The dinner was nice, and I was under the usual amount of scrutiny, and adeptly avoided many topics.

Saturday - The Oldest and I set up the lawn holiday inflatables, and I fixed a fan on one of them, and we had to get rid of another that was irreparable. The Boys and I ran some errands. I finished laundry. The Dude arrived back around 5pm and we all ate dinner together. The Dude announced he had invited a friend over to watch the game on Sunday, and he'd be home all day if I had plans. I generally do not make plans not knowing his availability in order to avoid having to cancel plans when he is unavailable. I asked a friend to hang out, but my texts went unanswered.

Sunday - The Dude announced he was going to a different house about 30 minutes away to watch the game. I got dressed and out of the house with no discernible plan in place. I did take my camera though. Before I left, The boys and I rearranged the furniture to fit the Christmas tree, which The Dude put together before leaving. The youngest also asked The Dude not to drink today because he doesn't like driving home when The Dude has had beer. I know The Youngest doesn't like riding with The Dude driving at any other time either, because of the rollover accident 3+ years ago. Don't blame the kid for being nervous with his father at the wheel. I ended up just driving and found myself in Santa Cruz. I was not in a good place emotionally, but was able to just quietly be and soak up the smells, the air, the sun. I spent a very quiet day thinking about loneliness and solitude, and realized I depend on certain people perhaps too much, and find myself depressed when those same people do not have time for me. That made me even more sad.

This was going through my head:

Safe and Sane Cyber Monday all!

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Difficult Tasks

There are days that are just difficult to get through. Yesterday was one of those days. It started with good intentions to complete a photo book of a 50th anniversary party I shot earlier in the year. May I recommend not doing this while also trying to wade through the emotional quicksand of a deteriorating marriage. Putting the photos together was fine. The problem and emotions came up while searching for quotes on long lasting love. What I found was a treasure trove of quotes on WHY people should stay together, and how marriages have good and bad, and how the longest ones are with people who overlook the problems. It was stuff I already know, but to have an overwhelming amount of information, and still realize that no matter how many times I chose to stay, he did not. It had me crying into my keyboard and turned a couple of hours into half a day.
He made a different choice, for his own reasons, and I cannot change that. I had second thoughts about sticking to my guns, and then took a long hot shower. I did some soul searching and came back to the point that I cannot stay in a relationship that has left me feeling so sad and angry and bad. If I were to stay, I would have to let a piece of me die, and that would lead to more of me being sacrificed every time he chose to stray. And then what? What is left at that point? Who am I and what do I become? Is there anything left to emotionally support my boys? My family? My friends?

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Tableau Tuesday 11/22/2011

Apart from the intense and demanding work schedule, this is some of the other stuff I've been up to these last 6 weeks:

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Turkey Week everyone!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Music Monday - Written on Thursday

Grueling Work Schedule has me hunkered down. However, this came across last Thursday and I HAVE to share it. 80's style music, super models, and eye candy for days:

Please enjoy!

Friday, November 11, 2011


Thank-you veterans