A flurry of activity this weekend. I took last week off of work, so it seemed like I crammed all of the activity into this weekend.
Friday - spent the early part of the day putting up most of the interior Christmas decorations, with the help of The Boys. The Dude went SCUBA diving, or to lend boat support, or something. Had Thanksgiving dinner at my parents' house with Sis, Nephews, Aunt, Sis' friend, my folks and The Boys. The dinner was nice, and I was under the usual amount of scrutiny, and adeptly avoided many topics.
Saturday - The Oldest and I set up the lawn holiday inflatables, and I fixed a fan on one of them, and we had to get rid of another that was irreparable. The Boys and I ran some errands. I finished laundry. The Dude arrived back around 5pm and we all ate dinner together. The Dude announced he had invited a friend over to watch the game on Sunday, and he'd be home all day if I had plans. I generally do not make plans not knowing his availability in order to avoid having to cancel plans when he is unavailable. I asked a friend to hang out, but my texts went unanswered.
Sunday - The Dude announced he was going to a different house about 30 minutes away to watch the game. I got dressed and out of the house with no discernible plan in place. I did take my camera though. Before I left, The boys and I rearranged the furniture to fit the Christmas tree, which The Dude put together before leaving. The youngest also asked The Dude not to drink today because he doesn't like driving home when The Dude has had beer. I know The Youngest doesn't like riding with The Dude driving at any other time either, because of the rollover accident 3+ years ago. Don't blame the kid for being nervous with his father at the wheel. I ended up just driving and found myself in Santa Cruz. I was not in a good place emotionally, but was able to just quietly be and soak up the smells, the air, the sun. I spent a very quiet day thinking about loneliness and solitude, and realized I depend on certain people perhaps too much, and find myself depressed when those same people do not have time for me. That made me even more sad.
This was going through my head:
Safe and Sane Cyber Monday all!
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