Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

This was an insane weekend:

Thursday
Yes it started on Thursday because that is the day I was moving furniture. Corky's Dad went into ICU with various health issues with his lungs. As an elderly person, these things happen, but they are still difficult to handle when it is your own parent. In anticipation for a new bed delivery on Friday, I had to move my bed to The Oldest's room. We moved his futon to the garage on Tuesday afternoon and he "cleaned" his room and slept on the floor. I finished actually cleaning his room, took apart my bed and moved it to his room. I also moved a couple of heavy pieces of furniture in his room to make the bed fit. I put everything back together in his room to be able to sleep.

Friday
Got up early and began cleaning my room and vacuuming and moving furniture. I had to empty the two pieces of furniture to move them, and then put them back together. Dropped The Youngest and a friend at school, picked up programs for Saturday's Crab Feed, and tried to also pick up extra raffle tickets for the same event, but every place that sells raffle tickets wasn't yet open. Waited at home for the new bed delivery, and they arrived about 10 minutes after the window for delivery started. They were finished in about 30 minutes, and I had only had about an hour before work meetings, not enough time to buy bedding and raffle tickets. Had a couple of meetings for work lasting about 3 hours, and tried to go out for bedding again, only to be derailed by needing to meet one of the treasurers at the bank to get the final checks and cash for the crab feed. By the time that was finished, the crab feed chair person wanted to meet to transfer the cash and checks in about 45 minutes. Still not enough time to get bedding, and there was no way I was leaving that kind of cash in my car while I shopped. So I went back home and worked for a while. Went to the school to meet the chair person, who was running late. By the time that was over, I had about 30 minutes before school got out. Ran and quickly got the raffle tickets, came back and picked up The Oldest and took him to gather the bedding. Luckily, I was able to find satisfactory bedding at the first stop, and was in and out in 20 minutes. The Oldest wanted to get his iPad from his father's, so off to that town, had to gas up my car, and got back to pick up The Youngest about 10 minutes after he got out. As I was pulling up, got a text from bf saying she was in The Oldest's science classroom, and the teacher told her that The Oldest was doing badly in class. WHY the teacher thought that appropriate to share with anyone OTHER than me or the ex, I have no idea. So, I sent in The Oldest to talk to her. Turns out his lab plan was crap - which I already knew and had fought him about on Monday. Didn't get home until 5:00, only to find out that bf and her son were on their way to my house so her son and The Oldest could finish their science project. No thought on ANYONE's part about when it would be more convenient for me, no. My desires and needs once again thrown by the wayside and they were here until 7:15. There were hints that they wanted to have dinner here, but I did not bite because I was pissed off. I really did not want them at the house at that time, and the longer it went on, the angrier I was getting. I did manage to feed The Boys and sit with them for dinner, put the bedding in the wash and get it turned around and on the bed before Corky got back from the hospital at 8:00. I was physically and mentally exhausted, and after getting The Boys to bed and talking to Corky about her pop, I just wanted to sleep in my new bed.

Saturday
Corky let me sleep in until about 8:30, by which time The Boys were up. Corky wanted them to do homework before any other activity, so I was up and writing homework on their white boards, and arguing about missing assignments and homework and grades. All I wanted was some alone time with Corky, a quiet and relaxing morning, and instead I got arguments with The Boys and more stress about schoolwork and tutors and grades. Looking at my level of stress and the feeling like I just can't catch a break on anything. I get resistance to homework from both The Boys and the ex, I have tutors working with The Boys, and there is little to no improvement, and every time I try to have intimate time with Corky, there is some obstacle to that. Left the house to work the crab feed for the next 10 hours. I helped set up, greet people, serve food and check out auction winners. It was a LONG day, but the crab feed itself was a HUGE success and fun. All of the volunteers who were there were super flexible and dedicated to making the event run smoothly. The chairperson for the event did a fantastic job. The High School PFSO tried recruiting me, but I held fast that I still have 2 years after this one on the middle school PFC. While I was gone, Corky hung out with The Boys, the ex picked up The Youngest for an indoor soccer game, and didn't return him until 11:30pm. Got home after midnight, went to bed, but was too wound up to sleep, and tossed and turned all night. Also was really emotional and weepy for a while before falling asleep.

Sunday
Was up by 7, and logged into work by 8 because it is a major software release weekend, and I am supposed to help the person monitoring the release. Only I was not told until Friday that expectation, and there was no way I could be on the chat room by 4:30am my time... Spent all day and night monitoring the chat room and just seeing what was going on. The Youngest slept in and then went to a friend's to run Lacrosse drills. The Oldest fought with me over homework and practiced music. Corky went to visit her dad. I was still fairly weepy from lack of rest. Corky made all of my meals and I am grateful for her and her ability to know exactly what I need and when. The Boys watched Grease after dinner and showers and I watched the chat room some more while dealing with an eye twitch I'd had all day. I'm tired, and my throat is scratchy. Tonight I look forward to sleeping a full night, which is possible for the release finished at 8:45. Looks like she wants me to send some communications and track some issues to resolution tomorrow, but I have no clue who to send what info to, and I am not on distribution for most of the things she is getting and then sending to leadership. Monday will be another long day. Of course as a salaried person, I do not get overtime for working 12+ hours today, though my boss may give me some comp time. We'll see.

Daily drivel

Today I had more good news about The Oldest. In addition to the outstanding musician medal on Saturday, he won a scholarship to a two week band camp over the summer. I am so proud of him and how much effort he's been putting into school and music. I checked his grades and he has all As and Bs. Of course, that good news is tempered by having checked The Youngest's grades. Found out that The Youngest is getting two Ds and an F, mostly due to a HUGE assignment that he has not turned in, despite swearing he would finish it at his Father's and turn it in. Neither happened, and I am not all that surprised, but still I sigh the sigh of disappointment and resignation. I had him finish it tonight, and checked the additional homework before they had showers, during which the computer system used to determine missing and late work went down. It came back up after they were in bed... Of course. I had coffee with a friend who is doing particularly well, and I am happy for her. Also met with the principal of the middle school and outlined my issues with various teachers, as well as the current thoughts of other parents.

Today I also came to the realization that I need to buy all new bedding before Friday, and I'm not sure when I'll have the chance to do so...

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

No rest for the weary. No break from stress either.

Friday
Picked up kids from school, got home and had them doing homework rather quickly (this was not without the usual fights over "why?!" and "This is dumb!" and "I already did that". The last, when followed up with my desire to check said completed work is always met by, "God, you are so mean! why do you have to check everything!" and finding out that it was not yet even started. The exhausting arguing lasted all evening. The arguing also included Corky stepping in to tell The Boys when to pick their stuff up, and getting me involved for each and every infraction. I have a fundraiser coming up (that I am not the chair for, but as PFC President, there is still responsibility on my shoulders) and we are sorely needing volunteers. I am hitting up every possible angle for this, and still people are sitting on their hands. Last week the stress was ticket sales, this week it's volunteers. I'm sure next week will be something else entirely.

Saturday
The day started with arguments over homework and housework. One of The Youngest's friends came over to hang out in the afternoon (after The Youngest finished all chores and homework, even if the homework was so hastily and sloppily done that I had him send it to his teacher to proof read on Monday). Also along was my VP who was able to effectively talk me off of a cliff, AND take on additional responsibilities so that I don't have to do quite as much as I have been all year. At lease I am reassured that it is obvious to all others involved that I am doing the lion's share of the work, without the help of my co-president. Once they left it was the mad rush to finish prepping for my parents' visit and dinner. Sweeping, mopping, putting a meatloaf together and in the oven, peeling and boiling potatoes and washing and chopping Swiss chard. Dinner was nice, my mom did not criticize a single thing. My dad laughed and complimented the food (as did mom). The Oldest made the meatloaf, and Corky and I the sides. I also made icebox cake for dessert, which I hardly ever make because one of the ingredients are not readily available year round. My mom was surprised about my draconian screen time and bedtime rules, but she also has no idea what kind of trouble The Boys have gotten themselves into on screens, so I didn't get into it. We finished the evening with showers and bed because I was wiped out.

Sunday
Woke up EARLY with an upset stomach and horrible diarrhea - bleh. Woke up again a bit early, but not bad. Corky wanted to play, but I can't really have the level of intimacy I want because she is still sick, and I really absolutely must remain healthy. So I made sure she enjoyed herself, but I feel myself pulling away. I enjoy bringing her pleasure, but it isn't the same and I don't know if it is because we have not been able to be intimate in the way I enjoy, or if the constant demands of tidiness around the house puts unrealistic demands on me as a lackadaisical housekeeper, and sticks me in the middle of the arguments with the boys about their lack of tidiness. But I am just tired of everything. I am trying to de-stress on my own, but there is always some other demand on my time, attention, emotion or all of the above that leaves me feeling empty, without an oasis in sight, and no hope for reprieve.

I am irritable, and premenstrual - also does not help in any way because my luck will be to start my period in time for Corky to be perfectly healthy again, and Valentine's Day, which is our weekend away at Mardi Gras.

This afternoon we were going to take The Boys to the Pinball Museum, but they were closed for a private event. We ended up at an arcade (which was okay, but so crowded, that there was more waiting for an open game than actual play time). We took a break to look at the newsstand where The Boys begged me to buy them $40 worth of books, comics, magazines, junk food each. I offered to buy one comic book or item of food each. The youngest then proceeded to buy himself additional food and comic books... We stopped at one of my favorite shops on the way to the car and they again begged me to buy them stuff every time I turned around. They shadowed me through the store continuing their pleas, while the entire time was me saying"no" repeatedly, until I threatened to make them wait outside. Left for the car and there was more whining about what they didn't get to do or buy and how put upon they were to have to hold a magazine so that I could browse and purchase a pad of paper.

In the car finally and no one wants to go to eat the same food for dinner. The Boys are being intentionally contrary toward each other, so I drove back to my town and by then it was dinner time and they had agreed. When we got to said place, it was PACKED and there was no hope of having anything to eat within the hour. A second destination was picked and there was additional whining because it wasn't the suggestion of The Youngest. I stopped the car until a decision could be made, and by that Point I was hungry and had had it up to my eyeballs.

Got to second destination and the wait was not unreasonable. Ordered food and drinks. Food arrives and mine is cold. not lukewarm, but cold. It had been sitting on the pass through for a nice long time while our waitress sat at a booth visiting with a friend. All I wanted was a hot meal... Sent it back and the manager brought it the second time, another server brought our next round of drinks and the manager who brought the second round meal (which was actually hot) said she'd check back (never happened). The original waitress was asked for drinks (those had to come from another server we flagged down after 20 minutes of the original waitress visiting more with her friend in the booth).

By the time we left I just wanted to cry. I actually still do - typing this out isn't making me feel better, just sad and lonely and alone and like I'm not actually able to be in a relationship. I am difficult to live with when I am under extreme stress (Like now). I feel myself pulling away and not telling Corky when I am upset with her. Sometimes I don't even realize what the actual problem is, I do know that I don't always say when something bugs me.

Earlier this week I started reading a book for an LGBT book club a friend just started. Corky attended the first meeting with me and did not enjoy it. I didn't particularly enjoy it either because it was literally 4 people who already know each other discussing everything but the book we just were picking up. This isn't Corky's thing, and I get it, but I still want to read the book. It is fascinating so far, and I am enjoying it. Corky saw the book on the coffee table and when she realized which book it was and why I had it, she dismissed it as "Oh, that's the book for the stupid book club." and then went on to pooh pooh the club and the leader. I was pissed, but didn't say anything (which I should have because it has colored my entire week). I didn't want her to think she was in the wrong. Her opinion is valid, but her dismissing what I like was hurtful.

Then in bed on Saturday night, she made a remark about my stomach. I am already self conscious about being overweight, but had let my guard down with her because I thought (and still think) she loves my body. But comments like that make me wonder if she'll stick around, and I know how psychologically self destructive those comments are for me. I tend to internalize them and lash out by becoming even heavier (which is really a bad idea). From the age of 10 I have been sensitive about my weight, and the comments that have cut the deepest have come from those I love and respect the most. To have an ex who slept around on me really fucked with my head and heart, and I can feel the walls building up in my relationship and I don't know how to stop them...

Once we got home tonight, Corky needed copies of the medical records for disability, and of course my fucking printer runs out of fucking ink... I did manage to download her x-rays, so she can take the CD with her, and then I tried to fix The Oldest's glasses, took Corky's advice on it, and ended up fucking them seriously up. Finally (after hours) said "fuck it" and paper clipped them together, reinforced by duct tape. A trip to the Optometrist tomorrow after The Boys get out of school. Can't wait to see what this costs me.

This sucks. Tomorrow is Monday and I will be working - on what I have no idea.

It really has been that kind of week

That week. You know the one. The week you are just waiting for the other shoe to drop. The one you can't wait to end because you need to reset your mojo.

Let's review
Monday
No school for The Boys - first day of all day homework fights because they did none / told their father they have none. Spent time sending e-mails to various teachers in order to get the assignments that are missing from The Oldest.

Tuesday
No school for The Boys, again homework battles. Received answers to e-mails from yesterday and Both Boys finished all of the work. The youngest had an appointment with a reading specialist because the ex wanted to find out what is going on with him. The specialist came to the same conclusion I had a while ago. The kid needs to read more, and if we find him a genre he likes, he will. Basically he's fine, and needs to actually read. While out, Corky opened the garage door and it broke beyond my capability to repair. Also, it was stuck open, and I was nervous about leaving my house with it in that condition. Called landlord and was told their handyman would call. Sent follow up e-mail with pictures to say that I have never heard from nor seen this person on the previous instances when repairs were needed, and I would be happy to have it repaired and take the amount off next month's rent. Was called and told he would be here tomorrow afternoon. During the call, landlord said the problem was the spring had broken. I stated that was not the case, what the actual problem was, which was documented in my e-mail, as well as photographed.

Wednesday
Handyman no showed (not surprised), but was stuck at my house all day and had Corky hang there in the evening so I could go to Parent Teacher Conferences. Dun dun duuuuunnnnnn. 2 kids, meeting with 6 different teachers. The comments were in only a couple of threads.
1. The Oldest is brilliant, we wish his grades reflected that.
2. The Oldest spends his class time talking to members of the opposite gender instead of paying attention.
3. The youngest needs to read more which will build his self confidence.

Thursday
Put on my underwear backward and wore it that way all day - half of the day because I didn't realize, the other half because I was too busy to get undressed. Was on work calls form 8-11 in the morning. Called landlord during the short break between calls. He was surprised that handyman no showed, called him and called back 5 minutes later to say he'd be here in an hour. He showed up 15 minutes before I had to leave to drive on a field trip. Locked up and left him at the house to take the jazz band to a gig. got home after dropping the band back at school, and the garage door is now fixed and operational. In the evening we went out. Had a glass of sparkling wine. Got sucked into the vortex of a particularly needy friend who refuses to own who she is... Tiring and Corky felt ignored. Meanwhile, another woman was flirting with Corky...

Friday
Half day for The Boys. Dropped and broke a bottle of Thai peanut sauce in the garage in my search for salad dressing that I swear I bought two weeks ago. Ate the salad anyway because I was famished. The Youngest threw a huge fit because he thought he had a weekend without homework when I reminded him that he still has a MAJOR project due next week, which he has been working on for three weeks already, and while he has done a great job on what he has, he's only about halfway complete, and he needs to give himself the week days to just polish it. It basically has to be complete before he goes to school Monday. You would think I was trying to kill him with a dull spoon for the amount of wailing he was doing. Really. Oscar worthy.

Monday started good

Late Sunday night, I found out that NOH8 is doing another shoot in San Francisco this weekend, and I want Corky to come with me. I was hoping The Boys could come too, which their father agreed to today, as long as their images are not used for advertising (which they are not). In the morning I found out that I'd won tickets to see Chicago the musical! Free B-Way tix? YESSSSSSSS!!!!! So it looks like a bunch of trips to SF this weekend, but for totally awesome reasons.

Of course, my winning high could not be sustained all day and into the night. After school brought monumental homework battles, tears, shouting, crying, whining and arguments worthy of a Supreme Court briefing. During the arguments, I fielded a call from a friend, missed two calls from Corky, and was being peppered by so many questions from all places, that I was unable to then also put together a decent dinner for us. So I escaped to In-n-Out, picked up food and came home. During the drive, I called my mom. and then called Corky as I'd been short with her on the phone. I just wanted someone to talk me off the cliff edge, tell me it would be okay. What I got was an irritated gf, who accused me of rewarding The Boys with take out food after they behaved so badly. I explained this was not for their benefit, but mine. I was going to seriously lose my mind if I had to add any one more thing to think about and keep track of, which included dinner. I was already on The Youngest for 6 separate things due this week, from the spelling test and vocab due tomorrow, the write up for a story they are reading due Wed, a Middle East test due Thursday, and a science study guide (the class in which he just obtained an F quarter grade) due Friday. I am working on getting his week set up and splitting up the larger tasks and assignments. He has a major assignment due in a couple of weeks, so I am also getting him to do some research each day. That would have been plenty, but The Oldest determined that he does not know how to structure a complete sentence, and thus I was dictating (from his own notes and science study guide) complete sentences, which I had to remind him to capitalize, and appropriately punctuate. That was after the temper tantrum, and his insistence that he had no idea complete sentences were required (despite it being written on the study guide), Then his attestation that his teacher clarified that complete sentences were in fact not required, That was followed by my insistence that he write them anyway because he was no longer going to have the option or choice of doing the bare minimum. My requirement is complete sentences, even if he could get his teacher to tell me otherwise. Even then, he tried to get away with a few complete sentences, so I had to have him keep going back to actually write them out. In between this was me proof reading The Youngest's essay, adding clarifying questions, and reading those, adding follow up questions and sending him back to do the complete work ,instead of the bare minimum.

It was exhausting, and I was pretty upset with my gf, as I am sure she is certain that I am caving in on giving treats to The Boys, but there are days when my sanity is actually of utmost importance. I need my strength, because I know without a doubt that this is not the end of the battles. This is only the tip of the iceberg. It is absolutely going to get more difficult before it gets easier.

Just your average Tuesday

Well today was interesting. BFF was around alot, which she hasn't been lately. Had a meeting at the middle school which ended with at least one pissed off person. Met with a middle school counselor about The Youngest's failing grades. Made my open enrollment selections. Did more laundry. tried to pry the brown plastic lump from the vase, gave up and recycled the lot. Was delayed several times by several well meaning people, causing me to miss time with Corky. I'm tired, I want to read and then sleep. Thankfully, The Boys had very little homework, and both completed it with zero grumbling. More hugs today, and thinking about my abundant life. Grateful for it all.

Tuesday Morning Holiday Weekend Wrap Up

Well this was a long weekend in the states with many people leaving town for the last hurrah of Summer. Not me. I stayed in town and enjoyed my extra day off of work.

Friday
Celebrated two friends and their new jobs starting next week. Met with the principal of the middle school to discuss next week's back-to-school night, this year's budget and the first PFC meeting. Spent the evening in with Corky for leftover pizza dinner and a movie followed by dessert and coffee out, where I teasingly stated we'd still be doing so in our nineties, but my elderly voice has a southern accent - weird...

Saturday
I woke up earlier than planned and ended up spending time with The Cat, because I just don't get enough time with her. I was really relaxed and it had relieved my stress. It was meditative and a great beginning to my day. Lazed about for a bit, then shopping and drug store. Came home and made a roasted corn salad and guacamole for a party, only to find out there would already be a corn salad - harumph. Took the guac with us, and Corky made some killer appetizers consisting of half of a cotton candy grape and a small chunk of sharp cheddar speared with a toothpick. The party was at my first boyfriend's, and was LGBT all the way, which was really nice. The other female couple included a woman I have not seen for about 30 years, who I felt did a horrible thing to me in HS, causing me much torment throughout my younger years. She brought an "I'm sorry" bouquet, which was hysterically funny and all because my dear friend told her I still carried it with me... It was a great evening, and also included my helping an elderly dementia patient (and mother of one of our friends) put her bra on facing the correct way... She was grateful, even though she couldn't remember my name, nor how to put it on correctly, nor why were were even in the bathroom to begin with. Corky had fun, and as usual, there was WAY TOO MUCH food. Really. WAY TOO MUCH. It looked like a couple of the single guys were fond of each other, which was very sweet to see, and I hope it works out well for them. They are both such sweet men, and deserve all the happiness in the world.

Sunday
Corky had to work in the morning, but left early. I met her at my folks' and we headed to the 149th Scottish Gathering and Games, hosted by the Caledonian Club of San Francisco. She had never been to the games, and I've always enjoyed them. We watched the heavy games, some of the Pipe & Drum bands, and wandered the clan tents and commercial buildings. We stopped to listen to Celtica for a bit and she had a meat pie, wile I had fries (chips). By the time we got to the Scottish food vendor, they were out of IrnBru, and Malteasers, much to my disappointment. We didn't see any shirts either of us could live without, I didn't want to spend a small fortune on skirts and bodice, and all of my clan's scarfs, key chains, etc. were sold out. We ended the games with the mass bands on the track - over 600 musicians, including the 1st regiment Marine Corps band, and the Scottish Battalion pipe band. Corky teared up at Auld Lang Syne, while I wept at Amazing Graze. We ran into the ex, his gf, and several of their friends (whom I have known since High School). They left The Oldest in charge of the other 3 kids while they were at the games, claiming it was too expensive to bring them... The Oldest has a cold and called me later. We had dinner at a Mexican place we like, picked up Corky's car, and headed home.

Monday
Slept in, laundry and picked up some stuff for the house. Ran into Corky and her roommate while running around, and The Boys didn't get home until after 11:30. I'd wanted to get out of town with them, but the day was already half over, and we wouldn't get home at a decent time, or be able to spend enough time wherever we went, so we stuck closer to home than normal. We ended up at Lawrence Hall of Science in Berkeley, and it was just as hot there as at home, although we were hoping for a cooler locale. We visited Corky at work on the way home and picked up food for dinner. Home and I worked with The Youngest on spelling for his test Tuesday, and finished laundry. The heat made us all lethargic, so we laid low trying to stay coolish.

Pics coming tomorrow, good week to all!

Thoughtful Thursday - Ice Buckets and fundraising

So, the ALS Ice Bucket challenge has raised $70M+ for ALSA. I think this is awesome and wonderful for people living with and dying from ALS. I worry about ALSA and what it will do with the huge influx of funds that are not going to be recurring. I hope they invest for ongoing income, or pick appropriate distribution of the funds.

I managed to avoid the challenge thus far, but Sunday I was called out by a dear friend on facebook. And Monday after lunch, I had The Oldest pour the ice water, while The Youngest filmed. I did not donate to ALSA, but instead chose breastcancer.org and bikeMS. I have a few friends with MS, and too many people to count in my life with breast cancer.


I have been thinking lately about Diane - so much so because the anniversary of her death is coming soon. I may get a tattoo that day to commemorate what she meant to me, which was so very much. Somehow I have not happened upon a design that reminds me of her - I know there will probably be a star, but I don't know what I will incorporate yet. I miss her, and always will. I could really use a nice long talk with her, hours long with no end in sight. I know she's happy, but still...

Tableau Tuesday

Pictures are actually from two weekends ago, but hey I remembered to get something up, right?

Created with flickr slideshow.

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

Another Monday, this one closer to the fall return to school. Busy ass weekend:

Friday
After work, Corky and I picked up some deli sandwiches and headed to a concert in the park with a great band - Finding Stella. This clip is from last year, and they were just as good this year. We were farther from the stage, but there was far less lesbian drama this time around.


Last year's concert included Corky not having made her mind up yet, and kissing on her ex. This year, two of her exes are dating each other, and weirdly continue to try and engage her in their stuff. I get that lesbians are friends with their exes, but they keep trying to push her buttons, and she really doesn't even want to hear about it. The way she was treated by each of them left her feeling bad, and she hasn't forgotten that.

After the concert, stopped by the aquatic center and set up the umbrellas for the next morning.

Saturday
Swim Championships! I got there at 7am, parked far far away, and spent the next 9 hours cheering for all the kids I know who swim. they all did wonderfully, and The Boys' team took first, for the second year in a row. This year it was a larger margin than last, and everyone was happy. Came home and scarfed some food, fell asleep, woke up and then to bed. Missed seeing Corky all day - she's sick with a summer cold and worked then went to bed.

Sunday
Woke up kind of early to go to the bathroom then fell back asleep until 11. Feeling off balance and slightly dizzy all day, and unable to nap. Did pick up a trombone for The Boys' band camp this week. Things are weird with BFF, which probably means we need to talk soon. sigh. I did see Corky for a bit before she headed back to bed after work. Swim team awards night was fun. The Oldest won most improved for his age group (he won it a few years ago as well). I asked The Youngest what his thoughts were, looking back at the season and he said he wants to swim again next year. I didn't even ask The Oldest, as he's already stated that he is looking forward to swimming the summer after senior year of high school, which is only 5 years away. (Yikes!) watching the Seniors and the 15-18's, I just kept being surprised by what wonderful young men and women The Boys have the privilege of knowing. These kids volunteer their time to help the younger swimmers, who in turn idolize them and it keeps the tradition alive. Both of The Boys want to be swim coaches, and can't wait to be old enough. We've talked about everything else it takes to be a leader for the team:  the time, the volunteer spirit, respect for their coaches all along the way, and the willingness and desire to help when they see a need, not just when asked. At their ages, it does take some coaching (by me) to see the need, but they are willing to step in when I point it out (especially The Oldest). I am proud of how far they both have come, and I only hope they will continue their summers with the summer family we've made.

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

A nice long and really HOT weekend. Over 100 degrees at home for days and days, no end in sight.

Thursday
Found out in the morning that my Mom is going for surgery on Monday (with a cancellation of the surgeon's). Took the afternoon off of work, picked up Corky and headed out of town to San Francisco to celebrate the occasion of a year together. Checked into the Palace hotel and relaxed for a little while. Went to the Pied Piper for drinks, and then to Source for dinner. dinner was disappointing. The food is what I see as a new trend. Vegetarian and Vegan meals made for a carnivore's palate. Most meals feature soy based meat-like products and their all vegetable dish was just so-so. Corky's was OK for  her, but featured a spice that made me a bit gaggy. We left feeling bloated and a bit ill and walked it off for a couple of miles back to the hotel. During the walk, Corky had poop (hopefully dog) splashed onto her pant leg, which was pointed out near a CVS. We bought tissues and hand sanitizer, cleaned her off and continued. It was brisk and I ended up chilled when we got back. After all of that, we chose to just retire to bed, lest additional crappy things happen.

Friday
Our acctual anniversary of our first date. Slept in a bit and headed to the Ferry Building for brunch. It was already 70+ degrees. Had quiche and coffee and a cinnamon roll, all of which were delicious. The quiche was especially amazing. Walked around the building and the street fair and attempted to catch a streetcar headed to the wharf. Two completely jammed cars went by us and we decided to try a taxi. None were near or stopping, all were full already. We and two other people, who were so nice decided to try a water taxi. for $30, they would take all 4 of us to the wharf. OK, so a bit more than the $2 per person for the streetcar, but it was on the water, and not like sardines, sweating in a hot car... We boarded with a cute little family of three, toddler included, and cast off. With the temperature hovering near 85, on the water was the perfect place to be. The ride took about 15 minutes, but he idled us around pier 39's famous sea lions, and Forbes Island, as well as up close to the seaward side of the SS Jeramiah O'Brien and the USS Pampanito. We disembarked closer to the Maritime Museum, and walked the wharf, stopping at the Musée Mécanique, and Pier 39 where I had my ear cartilage re-pierced. Yes it hurts just as much this time as it did the last, making me wonder if I should have just done a different spot... Walked back to the car as it had now cooled to about 75 degrees. Headed back to our side of the bay and stopped at Treasure Island to see the view and find the Doggie Diner heads. Stopped for dinner at our favorite place ever, Mangia Mi. Dinner and dessert were fabulous as always, and despite the 95 degree heat, it was a pleasant evening.

Saturday
The final dual swim meet before championships, and The Boys swam well, beating times in about half of their races. It was over 100 degrees and backstroke suffered as a result of being at the end of the meet. The team did win though, and finished the season undefeated. That was a great result, and now we only have champs next week. We came home, showered and changed and headed to Sis' house for her boyfriend's 50th birthday party. It was fun, and I enjoy his family. Mom was subdued, as expected while thinking of her surgery. My Sister's BF is a really great guy and deserves all the happiness he has brought to Sis and Nephews. We then went to the pool for the annual swim team "sleep" over. Set up our tent and I sat to visit with one of my classmates from 5th grade. I met two other families, one with a husband from Ireland, and the other couple from Scotland. It was great, and they are both so very nice. We sat up drinking and talking, and I finally got The Youngest to go to sleep at midnight, with a warning to The Oldest to not cause any trouble (he didn't). But I awoke with a start at 4:30 to find no trace of The Oldest in the tent. I walked to the other side of the pool grounds to find all of the 15-18's and the managers sitting around visiting, and my 13 year old completely amped up on Coca-cola. One of the young men got him to go to bed by telling him that he wasn't old enough to stay up all night. He groused all the way back to the tent where he fell asleep in under 2 minutes.

Sunday
Woke up at 7:15 a little bleary eyed, packed up and headed home. Went to check on BFF's mom and animals, but her mom decided to stay the weekend, so I have no responsibilities there, which had I known, I would have been slower to get home. Went home and crashed for 5 hours while The Boys vegged out in the heat. When I woke up, Corky was here, we talked and she went home to her air conditioning. We ended up having Frozen Yogurt instead of dinner, because it's hot, we're all tired, and none of us wanted to cook. Early to bed to face tomorrow and the rest of the week, come what may. See tomorrow for photos of the weekend.

Have a pleasant week all!

Monday Morning weekend wrap up

This weekend was a combination of highs and lows.

Friday:
The boys had swim practice and Corky had the day off. She'd spent the previous night, and we slept in our own homes last night. Her roommate is vacationing and Corky is caring for their dog and house. Grocery shopped in the evening and a pasta dinner to carbo load for Saturday. In bed a little early.

Saturday:
Early morning swim meet against the likeliest to best our team. Had a bit of a fall out before the meet when Corky came by and lamented that The Boys don't do enough to help get ready. She's right, I know she is, and I know they should be doing more, but I cannot stand the fighting that happens in the mornings as it is, then to add to that turns my stomach sour. So Corky and I disagreed, which in turn amped up my stress, which then upset her more. It was a cycle I didn't need to get into. We both apologized, and I warned her that I did what I did to make it easier on me. Then on the way to the meet, I talked to the boys about helping more on swim mornings, and they agreed that they could make lunches and pack the car and ice chest while I made the breakfast burritos. Corky came to watch and support The Boys, and I heard a couple of times how awesome the other swim parents think it is that she is there supporting us. I think it's pretty awesome too, and it shows how invested in our family she is. The Oldest swam his personal bests in all of his swims, and earned points for the team while The Youngest swam slower. If I recall correctly, we had this same phenomenon with The Oldest two years ago. As long as they both swim their best, I am good with it. Ran into a mom from school with kids on the opposing team and had a nice chat. Came home and crashed, while Corky was at work and The Boys vegged out. Woke up too warm and still tired and picked up dinner. Finished reading the first two books in Deborah Harkness' trilogy. I'd previously read them, but with the publishing of the final book, I wanted to revisit these worlds. Had a weird dream (previous post).

Sunday:
Had to get the dream out of my brain and written somewhere. Spent the morning back in the world of Daemons, Witches and Vampires. Made a fruit salad, picked up Corky and we headed to a family BBQ. The Boys got to meet the new baby and it was a nice afternoon. Home to veg a bit and Corky returned. We spent some quality time together, and I began cooking dinner. One of the dogs got a hold of the female robin in the backyard and had its neck snapped before we could get in to protect her. Corky thought it might just be in shock, and tried to resuscitate to no avail. We declared the bird deceased amidst many tears and sadness. Corky hates seeing animals hurt. I think it died instantly, but I didn't say so because I didn't want to upset her further. All four of us cried while the dogs looked at us like we were insane. I am sad that a nice day ended in a traumatic way and I hurt for Corky's tender heart. More reading before bed and facing another week of work and swimming.

I hope your week goes well.

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

I spent the weekend doing many things, hopefully I can remember it all:

Friday
Worked and ran a ton of errands with Corky, including a car wash and a trip to Costco. Worked more when we got home after picking up The Boys. Found out they did not go to swim practice on either day that they were with the ex, making me wonder if I should just pick them up and take them on his mornings. It is worth considering, as they are now acutely aware of not being the fastest swimmers, and expressing interest in improving their times.

Saturday
Second swim meet of the season and The Boys did well. The Oldest DQ'd Fly, but he probably swam faster. After that, we fought our way through traffic going to the county fair and dropped off The Youngest at a party with his friends. The Oldest and I fought back through traffic and picked up birthday presents for my dad and nephew. Had just enough time to shower, pick up Corky and then The Youngest before stopping at home to drop off cupcakes and pick up X-Box stuff and head to my folks' for a birthday dinner for three generations, My Dad, My Nephew and Me! All of our birthdays are during the same week, so we always do a combined dinner and celebration. We kept with the tradition of going around the table and saying what we love and appreciate about the birthday person. Because there are three of us, it is especially emotional. This year a few things struck me: My Sister voiced what I've been thinking for a while - that we are the only people with so many shared memories, and we know each other better than anyone else knows us. My Mom saying that I never cease to surprise her. My Nephew saying that he trusts me to always be there for him, and My Nephew (the other one), saying that he knows how hard it is to be a single mom, and he thinks I've done a great job raising The Boys into fine young men. Corky expressed her love of my kindness and broke down a bit. My Dad saying that I am envied by many for my qualities, including love, and honesty, and wishing he possessed some of those qualities. I love my family, as crazy as we might be at times, we do absolutely love one another.

Sunday
Slept way in after taking cough medicine, since my throat was killing me all of Saturday. Once I cleared all the mucus from my ENT, I found that my throat does not hurt any more (YAY!), and I felt well rested. I got dressed and whacked weeds in the front yard for three hours during the hottest part of the day, drank a ton of water, and got The Boys to help with the yard work and clean their rooms. I took a shower, and felt less like passing out from heat exhaustion. Got The Youngest to open the ibuprofen and drank more water. Corky came over and dinner was Casper dogs for the boys, and cole slaw. It was perfectly cool and light for the hellishly hot day. It didn't cool down until after 9pm.

It was also PRIDE weekend and the Parade in SF which I would have loved to have gone to, but The Boys are not quite old enough. The Oldest is, but The Youngest isn't I felt a little left out of it all, and ended up watching the parade on TV later.

More cough syrup, and it's time for my head to hit the pillow. I hope you all have a great week!

This is a difficult time for me

Transitions are tough for everyone, and this week marks a personal transition for me. As of this week, I will no longer have any children in elementary school. Today was the final day, which was spent at a local park, the kids playing and me reflecting upon the seven years I have spent at that school. Seven years of teaching art and cooking to Kindy through 5th graders. Seven years of changing the marquee out front. Seven years of being at the school almost every day, getting to know all of the teachers, staff and most of the kids. It has been a wonderful seven years, made better by the friends I met while there, and the experiences The Boys have had. Approximately 70 field trips as a driver of small children. Being the emergency contact for half a dozen kids, and knowing my friends trust me to care for their children when they are not able to do so. Seven years, during which I was both at my lowest point emotionally and psychologically, and now at my happiest. I am nothing if not resourceful, and have managed to not just survive, but thrive in the face of adversity.

And thus begins a new chapter for me - Off to the greater responsibilities of teenaged sons. Onward to acne and driver's liscenses, and first love and heartbreak. Through it all I will remain the steady force in The Boys lives. I am grateful for the time to grow into myself that these years have allowed, the friendships made and the sense of family I have in my city now. I know this is my space, this is who I am and where I belong. I am of this place. I have found a love, and cemented myself through the school community to here. I still have wanderlust, the desire to travel is high as school lets out for summer, but I know this is now where I come when I come home. I still miss parts of my past homes, but I move forward with the understanding that home is far more than a single building.

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up - lots of lasts.

So this weekend is the final weekend before school ends, and there were some final things going on.

Thursday
Took a day off of work to go on The Youngest's final field trip of elementary school. We rode the ferry and went to the Exploratorium. It was a blast, but too big to get through in the time we had. Corky came with us, and we all had fun (with only 15 kids and 8 adults). That night was the middle school Spring concert, where The Oldest played 3 different instruments, and nearly took out half a dozen other students when he had to schlep the stand up bass halfway across the gym. He ran into one kid, knocked a music stand into a second, knocked a second stand into 3 choir people, and almost decked the new drum major with the head when he lifted it over the band on the way back. However, they sounded awesome. So glad The Boys are into music as much as they are and can't wait to see how The Youngest progresses next year.

Friday
Attended the thank-you lunch put on by the school district for volunteers, and was able to visit with a few people I hadn't in a while. We are usually in meetings, and not visiting, so this was a nice change. Afterward, I organized and handed out the art portfolios to the 4th and 5th graders I taught this year. That was the final volunteer shift at the elementary school where I have been teaching art for 7 years. Took a break to work some more, and headed to the high school to help decorate for the 8th grade dance occurring on Saturday.

Saturday
Slept in as long as the cat would allow, so 7:00. Sat in my pjs drinking coffee and writing my grocery list, when what should appear on my facebook feed but a photo from a friend who was hosting a garage sale in the morning. This photo got me up, dressed, teeth brushed and out the door in less than 10 minutes. The object of my desire was her cleaning out her yarn stash - two entire boxes. I filled a huge bag with a TON of really awesome yarns, that I am going to use to knit socks, hats, gloves, scarves, maybe a sweater... Got home, showered and tried to go to the store. Was interrupted by the ex bringing his gf's old trampoline over and setting it up for The Boys. Finally got to the first store, shopped, came home and unloaded the groceries, then headed to store #2. While there, got a call from mom saying she and dad were stopping by to drop off some lattice for my (non-existent) garden. rushed home, and folded laundry while waiting. Corky texted with an offer to go to Urban Ore. Got the folks out, and headed to Berkeley with Corky and her roommate. Found an end table for the house that needs to be refinished, so I have a project. Stopped for dinner, then home and chaperoning the 8th grade dance. Stayed to clean up and had a salad late night, when I did get home. Fell into bed well after midnight, and slept like the dead, not even moving once.

Sunday
Was awoken by the phone at 8:30. The Oldest was on the other end of the line, and this was the conversation (remember, I was asleep):
Him: Are you coming to the "thing" today?
Me: The thing? what thing?
Him: They are lining up right now!
Me: What? What is lining up? What thing?
Him: Swim team pictures!
Me: Oh shit! I guess if they are lining up now, then no.
Him: Oh, they are only lining up for individual photos, so there's still time.
Me: OK, I'll be there shortly.

I was there 24 minutes later, and it is a 20 minute drive. So, another morning out of the house sans shower. I got photos of the little kids I was missing, visited with a friend from High School with kids now on the team.Stayed for time trials of freestyle for The Boys - they did good, less than a second off their best times from last year! Did I mention that it was 100 degrees, and I hadn't showered? ew. Went to visit Corky at work at her lunch break so that we could spend some time together. Finished my grocery shopping and holed up in my too warm house while avoiding the sun surface like temperatures outdoors. Got the swim team pics uploaded, showered, and worked on the wedding book. Weirdly, also witnessed what I think was the puppy having a seizure. This has happened twice before, and it scares the crap out of him. Haven't ever seen the onset, so it's difficult to determine if it is a seizure, or waking from a nightmare, but I sat on the floor and held and pet him until he recovered and his heart rate slowed and he was able to get up and walk around. Corky came by after work and we hung around in the heat, trying to figure out what to eat for dinner that did not involve any sort of heat source. We settled on sandwiches, and the boys arrived early. Couldn't go to bed until it was cooler - 10 for us all.

My new motto

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

Whew, this weekend was full of proud moments.

Friday
The Oldest got his grades back up from C's and D's to B's and C's. Lots of hard work and a ton of follow up, but I know he's brilliant, and I knew he could do it. Now that he knows he can do it, he's aiming for A's and B's before the end of the year. In Pathways, we began the ceramic Father's Day gifts, and the kids worked on the hallways for open house next week. The jazz band performed in the newly completed performing arts center, and the sound in that space is amazing! I can't wait to hear The Boys in there as they move forward in music. The evening was a fundraiser for ALS and ACS. The high school band director told of the origins of the fundraiser, a band mom who had been diagnosed with ALS and asked him not to yell at her son at band camp. Her sons names are The same as Diane's sons. Of course Diane has been on my mind, more so at band activities. The concert (5 jazz bands) ended well past bed time for The Boys, especially considering...

Saturday
Had to get The Oldest to his school to board a bus at 5:45 am. I came home and slept for another hour, got The Youngest up and out the door to the band review, where the band took four first place and a sweepstakes award. Got home and cut down the strip of weeds between the driveways. When Corky came over after work, I shopped and then we continued cutting down the weeds in the front yard. The Boys helped out, and one of their friends came over. I am a bit concerned about why this friend (who has not voluntarily come here in over a year) is suddenly interested in this place. His mother came over after a bit, so I had to stop what I was doing to listen to her complaints. I was not that interested in listening, and my brain was on overdrive with all of the things I needed to do. They left and Corky arrived and I made dinner. We all went to bed at a descent hour and I slept like the dead. Might have been all the physical labor, or it could have been the ibuprofen.

Sunday
Woken up at 8:00 by the same friend from yesterday wanting to come back here today. His text: "what's up?". My reply: "The Boys". They were already up, and I quickly got dressed and got us all outside to work on the side yard. It took 4 hours, but ALL of the weeds have been cut down, raked and bagged. The green bin is full, and there are an additional 5 bags for next week's green bin. The friend continued to text and call, but I was in the middle of yard work, and needed The Boys to keep focus, so I didn't respond until we were nearly finished. He was over 10 minutes later, just missing The Boys taking their showers, but eating lunch I made for them all. I am still harboring a grudge with his mom, and my conversation with her is completely overdue. And now I want to know what the hell went on over there this weekend that her kid wanted to spend his free time here. The ex picked up The Boys for dinner, after not seeing them for over a week, during which he, his gf and her 2 kids were on vacation. I went to dinner with Corky and her roommate and The Boys were back here about an hour before bed time.

This next week will be busy for me and The Boys. A dentist appointment, orthodontist appointment, lunch with the teachers, two jazz concerts, two parent meetings (maybe three), and an open house. Tonight is early bed time, after folding and putting away laundry. Oh, and more ibuprofen, definitely.

Moving and vacation

So The Boys, The Dogs, The Cat and I have moved to a house. Now each pubescent boy has his own room, and not a day too soon! The Dogs have a backyard, and The Cat can go outside again. This move in particular took a great deal of effort and work. Where we moved to required days of work installing things that were missing and cleaning. The move itself was painful. Lots of people who were really exhausted by the end of it, and I managed to piss off Corky.

The timing was not great. We were at Disneyland for the days preceding the move. The vacation was awesome, the weather was perfect, and the earthquakes were only mildly discomforting. The Oldest sounded great, the entire band looked and sounded great, and I had my first argument with Corky because I'd gotten up early, was crabby and thought the early hour was pointless (it wasn't). We weathered the argument (which amounted mostly to me being bitchy), the earthquake and aftershocks and 12 hours in the car plus 3 days in the parks. We still love each other, and it was really difficult coming home to the grind.

the very next day, I received the keys to the new place and began hauling boxes to the garage. This continued for a few days until I needed to start moving things into the house, and had to spend 8 hours cleaning with two other people. I also had to install 2 closet rods and shelves, a mailbox, and repair the fence so I could bring the dogs. I had some friends really flake on me and drop out of helping me move, and a couple others who really stepped up. My kitchen was rearranged three times, none of those were my desires. I spent hours being brow beaten about furniture placement, and ultimately had to redo the living room to be functional for me. Since moving in, it took a ton of effort to get phone service, Internet and TV, and the heater working. Still waiting on the second line jack install and reissue of voicemail...

Move in day (the furniture and everything else) was 5 days after getting the keys and lasted about 20 hours (for me) and 12 hours for my Sister & her Boyfriend and fewer hours for the rest, though we were all working hard. My folks were there to help, including the repair work to the fence (which was completed by Sister's Boyfriend). Since moving in, I've been unpacking, still cannot find the notebook I desperately need, installed a thermostat and new air filter, heard The Boys whine about The Cat keeping them up, started letting the cat outside at night (everyone is much happier and well rested), started walking to and from school with The Youngest, and lived without a microwave. I am ultimately happier with the house, but it seems like it's been a rather taxing move. Oh, and I have a sty on my eye that had my eye swollen shut yesterday morning, and hurts like hell. 

Monday

Monday Monday can't trust that day

Ever had one of those days when all you want to do is go back to bed and cry yourself to sleep - that was my day today. Nothing particularly bad happened today. It was by all accounts a fairly average Monday. No kids wanted to go to school. There were some tears. I could have kept that kid home today, but he was not going to be productive here, and neither was I. He'd not slept very well, and was in my bed from 2am onward, making neither of us sleep well at all. This morning's tears were not manufactured, but rather born of lack of sleep and fear of punishment from teachers. I had to make two morning trips to the elementary school because of a forgotten book, and one trip to drive a friend home sick from high school. Corky lovingly brought me lunch, which was great, but I was pretty tired and worn out already by then. The afternoon wasn't much better. two trips to the elementary school because that kid had to stay late to complete work. While I was waiting unessesarily the first time, UPS tried to deliver my camera replacement - for the second time. I am shooting tomorrow night and need to charge the battery before then. I can't pick it up before 11:30, so that is when I will be there. The Oldest called from middle school three times trying to get out of math homework club. The first story was he has no homework, but when I said I'd be checking the homework site, he decided to stay. The second was to say he finished that already (5 minutes), and didn't have missing assignments. The third was to tell me he didn't know what the missing assignemtns were. I helpfully read them off to him, reminded him to check his folder, as I know he did at lease two of those while in my presence. Corky works closing today and open tomorrow, which means I won't see her until after work tomorrow and I miss her. The aamount of stuff I have to do in a short amount of time is weighing me down.

Changes

Changes are coming to my life, and the lives of The Boys. The feeling is bittersweet. A family we have grown close to is moving out of our neck of the woods, and on to more adventures. Their oldest is considered by The Youngest to be his best friend. The mom, and my friend is dear to me, and inspiring, and I really am going to have a difficult time not seeing her regularly. She was a point of normalcy as my world was spinning out of control, and she helped me through so much of my time struggling to be who I am. She is one of the most giving and loving and supportive and positive people I know, and I know she will absolutely spread that love and cheer wherever she goes, I'm just sad she won't be shinning near me.

With this sadness and loss, comes a good change for me and The Boys, for we will be moving to the house they are vacating. I am beyond happy to have this opportunity, and am so looking forward to more bedrooms, and a yard again. The Boys can stop sharing a room, and I feel like I can breathe again. I am so very grateful for the people who have helped take care of me and nurture me over these past two years of heavy transition. I only hope they all know how important they all are in my life.

Thank-you to my landlord, a caring man who was more than willing to help me out of my jam, living where I had been. My sister, who kicked my ass, and made me take responsibility for my shit, and then told our parents on me. She made me better at a time when I was completely on the floor. My dear friend, C, who is moving, who told me I was an inspiration when I surely didn't feel like it at all. For inspiring me and bringing along all of your awesomely crazy friends, who I now consider mine as well. I know you are a part of my family. My friend, T, who lost her husband, and who asked if I'd made the change we all knew I needed to make, but she was the one to voice it first. For my BFF without whom, I might have actually lost my mind. I only hope I can return the favor. For M & E who have been here all along, willing to kick my ass and lend an ear and a car in which to move my shit.

And to you, Corky. For coming into my life and making me see just how wonderful it all is, and how loving and being loved can make it all worth the wait.