Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Tableau Tuesday 1/31/2012

Tableau Tuesday rolls around again. All photos taken at our cemetery during a walking meditation on life and death and delicacy, and everything:

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
Happy Tuesday all!

Monday, January 30, 2012

Music Monday Weekend Wrap Up

Friday - Woke up to this in my head:

"The sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive keeps me alive"
The day was full of Lunar New Year Feast at The Boys' school. My best friend totally had my back all day, and I reached out for help to a few people (unusual for me). After school, The Boys and I walked to a friends and spent the afternoon/evening visiting and playing and just hanging out.

Saturday - Woke up to this in my head:

"I will never regret you
Still the memory of you
Marks everything i do"

The Morning was spent doing laundry and cleaning in preparation for The Dude's mom visiting for lunch. I also went grocery shopping (which I hate to do). During my shopping, I had an epiphany. Life is delicate. We are balancing on the edge between life and death. And the one thing that triggered that revelation was Ovaltine.Yes, Ovaltine. My grandmother always had Ovaltine and those tiny cans of Tree Top apple juice, and the memories and good feelings that came flooding back made me tear up. Following lunch, I went for a photo walk in our local cemetery (you'll see those photos in Tableau Tuesday). While wandering the graveyard and contemplating life and death, I had to sit down and have a good cry about how much of my life I haven't been living. In the middle of my cry, who should roll up but my best friend and her family. My day improved greatly, until I went home and had to referee more fighting between The Dude and The Boys.
Sunday - Woke up to this in my head (this is often in my head first thing):

"I cant lie
I cant tell you that I'm something I'm not
no matter how i try
I'll never be able to give you something
something that i just haven't got"

Spent the day finishing laundry, repairing the network and photo stuff. Did go for another walk and felt good afterward. Still really not liking hanging out at home with The Dude around. Exploring my options on that front too. I also was able to phone a couple of people, one of whom is going through a similar situation, and the other I haven't spoken with in months, and whom I miss.

Happy Monday all!

Sunday, January 29, 2012

My Town Shoot Out - Delicate

If you would like to see what others around the globe are shooting of their towns, I encourage you to go HERE.

I know I am late on this week's post - lack of inspiration, network down, mental breakdown, blah, blah, blah...
This week's theme is Delicate, and I wracked my brain all week for inspiration - which in hind sight seems contradictory. However, while grocery shopping (a chore I detest), I was struck by inspiration, and decided that the delicate nature of life was what I wanted to portray. The delicate balance we all walk between living and dead, and how we choose to honor that (or not) each and every day.

All images were taken this week in my town's cemetery.

Happy rest of the weekend all!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Tableau Tuesday

So, this is the ACTUAL 500th post. whatever - I can't count - my mind is elsewhere - so elsewhere that I forgot to wash my hair today and had to get back into the shower to do so...

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

My 500th post On Gay Marriage

Wondered what I should do for number 500. Decided this would be a good thing to post. We've hit some significant milestones, but not an inroad into closed minds and hearts. People are angry and unkind and dangerous.

Things on my mind lately:

But LOVE it!

And this:

A Beautiful Ordinary Life is what we all need and deserve.

And finally this:

This, THIS is what BAMF means. And it's my new theme song, yo.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

Friday - The normal stuff, including vacating my house because of resentment and discomfort. Retreated to a friend's home and stayed too late.

Saturday - I woke up with the chorus for this song in my head, had no clue who sand it, or what the rest of the lyrics were, until I looked it up:

Spent the early afternoon at a baby shower, and the later afternoon running errands and avoiding my home still.

Half of my life
Sunday - I woke up after only 3 hours of sleep with this song in my head:

I also woke up thinking about the fact that I have spent 22 years in a relationship that is now ending, AND, that 22 years is half of my life. It was a sobering moment and I needed to write it down. Do I want to get to 88 knowing that even more of my life was spent in a relationship that is less than ideal for my mental and emotional health? And my emotional and mental health being directly linked to my self care habits (including eating) and my physical well being, potentially a very unhealthy later adulthood? My answer is no. Your mileage may vary.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

Deviousness and Revenge

I have an 11 year old son and a 9 year old son. They are great boys, they also amaze me and drive me insane at times. After spending time trying to mediate the inevitable squabbles that happen, I thought I knew how they worked. The Oldest took on the role of drama queen, easily hurt and wearing his heart on his sleeve. The Youngest took on the role of pesky little brother, more physical and contrary. the tides have turned recently and it took me back to my own childhood.
During Winter Break, The Boys were trying to scare each other for an entire day. Eventually, The Oldest pulled out a large cardboard box and hid inside, waiting for The Youngest to come down the hall. When The Youngest approached, The Oldest leaped out, like a sadistic Jack-in-the box, scaring The Youngest nearly out of his skin. Later that day, same set up, but The Youngest snuck up on the box, scaring The Oldest, before he could pounce. Later still, same set up, The Youngest snuck up again to try and scare The Oldest, but this time, The Oldest was hiding out of sight, but not in the box, and as The Youngest was nearly ready to pounce, The Oldest jumped out and The Youngest jumped out of his skin.
Cut to last weekend, my Sister's Youngest was hanging out at my house and he and The Youngest were teaming up on The Oldest, jumping out from behind corners to yell and scare him out of his skin. By the end of the night, The Oldest was bright red and in tears, afraid of his own shadow. When tucking them into bed, I admonished The Youngest, telling him to not be surprised if his brother tried to get him back. I told The Oldest about how their Tia and I would try to get back at each other. At about their ages, Tia would hide my teddy bear every single night, causing me to cry inconsolably. She would laugh at me, and I would be so angry. As an aside, I slept with that bear from birth through college, so you know, a cherished part of my life. Every morning, to get her back, I would wait at the bottom of the stairs, around a corner in the house, and jump out at her as she came down for breakfast. It got to be so bad that I dreaded going to bed, and she dreaded coming down the stairs.
I let The Oldest stew on that information, and 2 days later it played out.
When going to bed, The Youngest went into his room first, and was just inside his door, The Oldest poked his head in and said "Just one last thing", flipped off the light, and shut the door. Immediately, the screaming of The Youngest, and the evil laughing of The Oldest let me know the revenge had been played. The Youngest ended up in my bed overnight, and The Oldest cried himself to sleep, saying he felt bad for scaring his brother so badly. I think he really felt bad for getting in trouble.
The next day after school, I asked The Oldest if he thought the revenge was worth the trouble he got in. He thought for a moment and answered that it was worth it. We talked a bit about weighing his options and the likelihood he would get in trouble in the future, and that only he could decide if it was worth it. We also talked about letting things go and not escalating everything. He's a smart kid and reminds me WAY too much of myself at that age.
I've decided I will not tell him about Pavlov and the devious way I tortured my Sister, that lasted well into adult hood.
I realize I haven't written about that before, but need to save it for another day...

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Town Shoot Out - Glass

If you would like to see what others around the globe are shooting of their towns, I encourage you to go HERE.

This week's theme is Glass, and these were taken at my town's civic center where there is a ton of glass.

Happy Weekend all!

Friday, January 20, 2012

At Last

I love Etta James, and I will miss her. I was fortunate to be able to see her perform live and up close. I am grateful for that opportunity and for the friend who gave that to me.
I had to go searching for these photos today, and I am glad I did. This brings back some really awesome memories.

Thank-you Etta
Thank-you Sordal.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Tableau Tuesday - on Thursday

All for photo a day, all taken last week, and it's been a hell of a week which I may write about at some time...
Then again, maybe not.
Enjoy anyway:

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Music Monday

It is Martin Luther King Jr. Day today in the U.S. and I was all prepared to write a thoughtful post.

Then I was sidetracked. Ok, completely thrown off track...

By this:

Happy Monday all!

Saturday, January 14, 2012

My Town Shoot Out - Arms & Legs

Wow, two weeks in a row - I think that may be a new record...
If you would like to see what others around the globe are shooting of their towns, I encourage you to go HERE.

This image is from my archive as I was planing on staging something yesterday during a Happy Hour Play Date, and subsequently drank too much to remember to do so.

So. You get some of the dancers from our local Irish Dance School:
Happy Weekend all!

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Hunger Haiku

Hunger, born of lack
Connection, intimacy
I'm fucking starving

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tableau Tuesday 1/10/2012

Another Week, another Tableau Tuesday. I have been posting a photo a day all year so far, and have been making a concerted effort to shoot daily. These were all since last Tuesday:

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

So it all started innocently enough. A post on freecycle came through on Wednesday with an offer of a loft bed with slide. I looked up some images on google and decided that might work for one of The Boys. I picked it up the same day, and left it in the garage (in pieces). For the next two days I had The Boys talk to each other about who would get the new bed. My plan was to have The Youngest take the bed, without the slide, and take his bunk to make a loft over table for The Oldest. If that was not what he wanted, I was going to turn the new bed into a train table for The Oldest in the garage. By Friday they had made their decisions, and on Saturday, after 11 hours of sleep, I began.
This is what The Youngest's set up looked like about 18 months ago:

I took apart this bed, cleaned under the bed, vacuumed, and organized and built the new bed with a modification or two - leaving off the side rails and the slide.
This is what we ended up with on Saturday: 
He still wants a camouflage tent under the bed as a fortress, so I will be looking for appropriate fabric and putting that together.

Sunday was The Oldest's turn. This is what it looked like before (only far less neat and tidy):

I took apart this bed, The Dude drilled 4 new holes at desk height using a template I made, The Oldest and I cleaned under the bed, vacuumed and rearranged. I then put the bunks back together, and ran to buy the desk top. The Dude cut the wood to fit. It doesn't exactly, but at $36 a sheet, it's workable. The Oldest also did not want the side rails, so those were left off. He completely reorganized his room with the added storage, set up his fan and alarm clock, and set up his train set on a part of the table:
Back breaking work for a weekend, but totally worth it as they are both really enjoying the new set up, and have thanked me repeatedly. Also, I feel good after such a physically labor intensive couple of days. There is more to do around the house, but this was a satisfying project and frankly, I am damned proud of myself for thinking of this, and getting it done! I was feeling quite the Butchy McButch yesterday, and it has given my some added and needed swagger ;-)

Oh, and I also discovered Rizolli and Isles fan fiction this weekend, so that kept my mind busy... It's been about 10 years since I read any fan fiction at all, and I am a voracious reader, so I hope many of the writers I am finding will continue to write.

Happy Monday all!

Thursday, January 5, 2012

My Town Shoot Out - Music 1/6/2011

I know I've been completely absent from the MTSO for I can't remember how long, but I thought I could try to get here more often.

For music in my town, there really isn't a huge scene for live entertainment. I get my fill of live music from The Oldest and his friends - What you can see in this photo is a selection of his instruments:
What you don't see in this image is the ukulele, drum pad and drum sticks on his bed, a kid sized six string hanging on the wall, or the box of instruments which include another kid sized 6 string, a steel drum, a snare drum, a melodeon, several shakers and fish and frogs, a recorder and a triangle. You also don't see the bin full of sheet music and chord charts and lyrics.

Happy Friday everyone!

Monday, January 2, 2012

Tableau Tuesday 1/3/2012

Welcome to another year of Tableau Tuesdays.
My only resolution for this year is to be accountable to myself. I have been accountable to others for my entire life, and now I need a year of focus on me and my commitments to  myself.

Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Lately weird dreams

Having weird dreams for the past week, likely brought on by having seen a Smithsonian show with a segment on these creatures. That and my subconscious working out some issues. My dreams are that I am finding smaller versions of these all over the house, the cat, the dogs, the sofa, the beds. The creatures in my dreams are about the size of the first segment of my pointer finger, and I "pop" them between my finger and thumb. It wasn't until this morning that I was able to identify what I was seeing in my dreams, and link it to what I saw on TV, and what I've been going through. So, with no further ado the star of my recent dreams:
Amazonian Giant Leech - image courtesy of NOVA interactive.