Told to me yesterday while discussing a wedding my folks attended, and my dad was seated next to the priest and claimed that you can only be yourself to a certain degree.
I've mentioned previously that my dad is taking after his Uncle Jack in the joke telling department (he also looks alot like Uncle Jack).
A man is playing golf and hits his ball into the woods, knocking a leprechaun out cold. When he finds the ball, he revives the leprechaun, makes sure he's OK, offers to take him to hospital, but the leprechaun says he's just fine, and because of the man's kindness he will grant the man three wishes. The man refuses the request saying he has no need for wishes, checks to make sure the leprechaun will be OK, and goes on his way.
The leprechaun decides to grant the man three wishes anyway, to be the best golfer in the world, to have more money than he would ever need, and to have the greatest sex possible.
One year goes by and the man is playing the PGA tour, on the same course and hits his ball into the woods. It lands near the leprechaun, and when the man arrives the leprechaun asks how his year has been. The man says, it's been wonderful. The leprechaun asks about his golf game, and the man tells him he has never played better. The leprechaun asks if he is doing well financially and the man replies that he has never been wealthier. The leprechaun asks how his sex life is going and the man replies that it is OK. The leprechaun is stunned and asks why it's just OK. The man replies that he's having sex two or three times a week. The leprechaun is incredulous, saying it should be every night, to which the man replies, "Well, two to three times a week isn't too bad for a priest in a small town."
Love you Dad!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Boys... ... Yet ANOTHER proud mom moment
As I write this it is only Tuesday, and already this week, there has been a call in the middle of the school day. From. The. Principal. About not just one of The Boys, oh, no... BOTH OF THEM...
Great.
Just. Great.
So, what was it this particular time?
It is alleged that my darling angels, the very boys who fill my days with laughter and sunshine (along with a friend) have been terrorizing the school by threatening to peek over the stalls in the bathroom at other kids. They have also been standing on the toilets and climbing over stall walls. Evidently this has been happening for a while, but no names had been disclosed until yesterday when they actually did peek over the wall at someone. There have been multiple complaints from parents because their sons are afraid to use the bathroom, and coming home with stomach problems. The custodian has had to lock that bathroom because of the mess, which I can only assume looks something like this:
I don't buy it. The Boys are on restriction from play dates and parties until Halloween. They have no screen time until the weekend. They had to each write a letter of apology to the custodian and the kid who was their victim. And that was just what came from The Dude and I. At school, they are helping the custodian clean up the playground and lunch room for every recess and lunch for at least this week. I recommended they make the kids scrub toilets, but I guess there is some health code or child labor law violation in that... This weekend they will have the privilege of scrubbing the grout in my bathroom. With a toothbrush.
I'm thinking of adding this sign (with the addition of the red circle and slash) to their rooms:
Add to this the fact that The Oldest has had a difficult transition into 4th grade, and the amount of homework he has nightly is ridiculous. I think this is mostly due to him not effectively using the time he is given in class, or making poor choices when he does get them. Last week we discovered that while he is given 20 minutes a day of silent reading time, he wasn't using that time to read the book he had for his weekly book report. He was reading lower level books instead. So on Wednesday and Thursday nights, he got to read two books and write two reports on those. He may have learned his lesson on that as he has already read this week's book, and written the report, leaving the rest of his reading time for fun books, like Captain Underpants. I'm sensing a theme here. this week is all about math homework (3 hours a night), plus piano and saxophone practice and reading. Today both boys were ill behaved toward me and had their bed times moved up 30 minutes.
SERENITY NOW!
The photos for this post were found via google search of images. Search strings = Footprints on toilet, and peeking over wall toilet.
Great.
Just. Great.
So, what was it this particular time?
It is alleged that my darling angels, the very boys who fill my days with laughter and sunshine (along with a friend) have been terrorizing the school by threatening to peek over the stalls in the bathroom at other kids. They have also been standing on the toilets and climbing over stall walls. Evidently this has been happening for a while, but no names had been disclosed until yesterday when they actually did peek over the wall at someone. There have been multiple complaints from parents because their sons are afraid to use the bathroom, and coming home with stomach problems. The custodian has had to lock that bathroom because of the mess, which I can only assume looks something like this:
Their side of the story states that kids chase them into the bathroom, and when they are hiding in there, they stand on the toilets. There has also been admission that at least one of them has climbed the stall wall, but only to unlock the one that is locked. They have admitted to peeking over, but only to check if the stall was occupied.
I don't buy it. The Boys are on restriction from play dates and parties until Halloween. They have no screen time until the weekend. They had to each write a letter of apology to the custodian and the kid who was their victim. And that was just what came from The Dude and I. At school, they are helping the custodian clean up the playground and lunch room for every recess and lunch for at least this week. I recommended they make the kids scrub toilets, but I guess there is some health code or child labor law violation in that... This weekend they will have the privilege of scrubbing the grout in my bathroom. With a toothbrush.
I'm thinking of adding this sign (with the addition of the red circle and slash) to their rooms:
Add to this the fact that The Oldest has had a difficult transition into 4th grade, and the amount of homework he has nightly is ridiculous. I think this is mostly due to him not effectively using the time he is given in class, or making poor choices when he does get them. Last week we discovered that while he is given 20 minutes a day of silent reading time, he wasn't using that time to read the book he had for his weekly book report. He was reading lower level books instead. So on Wednesday and Thursday nights, he got to read two books and write two reports on those. He may have learned his lesson on that as he has already read this week's book, and written the report, leaving the rest of his reading time for fun books, like Captain Underpants. I'm sensing a theme here. this week is all about math homework (3 hours a night), plus piano and saxophone practice and reading. Today both boys were ill behaved toward me and had their bed times moved up 30 minutes.
SERENITY NOW!
The photos for this post were found via google search of images. Search strings = Footprints on toilet, and peeking over wall toilet.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Tableau Tuesday
Not much shooting (apart from documenting my room move), but this guy showed up in my house 2 nights in a row. On the first night, he was caught and released outside. On the second night I let him stay, and he found his own way out over night. He was a VERY bright green.
Music Monday - Weekend Wrap Up
This weekend was BUSY!!!
Friday I spent the entire school day finishing up the field trip shirts for this year. We gave the kids choices this year of the following:
Fish print
Octopus print
Spray on fabric paint with keys or pennies rubber banded into the shirt
Sun reactive dyes
Tie dye.
We have 4 art teachers, and we cranked though about 50 shirts each Friday. I had one mom each Friday morning to get the Kindies shirts done. We didn't give them much choice - didn't want to overwhelm them. All of the shirts turned out completely AWESOME, and mine has a fish print on the front, an octopus print on the back, and tie dye around the edges.
All the moms were fried, so I offered up my home for the Happy Hour Playdate. had martinis and popcorn and got to catch up with friends. Friday was also my nephew's 13th birthday, and Sis had a dinner for him. I kicked my friends out and we headed over to Sis'. My folks were there, and the dinner was delicious, and my nephews are hysterically funny, and getting funnier every passing moment. We played wii and billiards and table tennis, and had fun. The Dude didn't stay - he had a soccer game to play. By the time we got home I was starting to feel a bit out of sorts and went directly to bed.
Saturday morning brought drizzling rain, and doubts about whether The Youngest's soccer game would be cancelled. It wasn't, and we got to sit in the alternating drizzle and bright sunshine until about 10:30 in the morning. Following the game, both Boys went to a friend's birthday party and played mini golf, lazer tag and video games. I took a small drive to the local airport to just have some alone time. I ended up wishing I'd brought my walking shoes and my camera, but I still enjoyed my time. Of course The boys did not want to leave when I picked them up, but they actually did fairly well. Once home, I cut and squeezed a bunch of lemons and we made lemonade. While running the peels through the disposal, it broke loose from the under sink pipes (which are cartoon ridiculous in their construction), and The Dude and I got in a heated argument over the fact that I insist on continuing to try to use the machines in our house for their intended purpose. I like my garbage disposal to dispose of garbage, my dish washer to wash dishes, and my clothes dryer to dry clothes. I think it isn't too much to ask of these items to do what they are designed specifically to do. The Dude disagrees and thinks I should take any item that I can pick up, and throw it in the trash (even though food scraps go in the green bin). He also thinks it acceptable that the front panel is off the dishwasher, and the dryer actaull works as intended, so no issues there (knock on wood). The rest of the evening passed quietly.
Sunday I was feeling like I needed to DO something. While The Dude played soccer and between loads of laundry, I started back in on The Boys' rooms. I got all of the boxes out of the office/playroom and finished taking down the bookshelves. Swept and mopped and while The Dud was holding an open house, my Mother-in-law came over to help. We got all of the furniture moved around, and The Oldest's room is pretty much done. I still need a night light for him and a hamper for The Youngest, but you can see the progression below:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
And of course, no Music Monday would be complete without a song that popped up in my shuffle while working on The Boys' rooms, and stuck with me the rest of the day and evening.
Friday I spent the entire school day finishing up the field trip shirts for this year. We gave the kids choices this year of the following:
Fish print
Octopus print
Spray on fabric paint with keys or pennies rubber banded into the shirt
Sun reactive dyes
Tie dye.
We have 4 art teachers, and we cranked though about 50 shirts each Friday. I had one mom each Friday morning to get the Kindies shirts done. We didn't give them much choice - didn't want to overwhelm them. All of the shirts turned out completely AWESOME, and mine has a fish print on the front, an octopus print on the back, and tie dye around the edges.
All the moms were fried, so I offered up my home for the Happy Hour Playdate. had martinis and popcorn and got to catch up with friends. Friday was also my nephew's 13th birthday, and Sis had a dinner for him. I kicked my friends out and we headed over to Sis'. My folks were there, and the dinner was delicious, and my nephews are hysterically funny, and getting funnier every passing moment. We played wii and billiards and table tennis, and had fun. The Dude didn't stay - he had a soccer game to play. By the time we got home I was starting to feel a bit out of sorts and went directly to bed.
Saturday morning brought drizzling rain, and doubts about whether The Youngest's soccer game would be cancelled. It wasn't, and we got to sit in the alternating drizzle and bright sunshine until about 10:30 in the morning. Following the game, both Boys went to a friend's birthday party and played mini golf, lazer tag and video games. I took a small drive to the local airport to just have some alone time. I ended up wishing I'd brought my walking shoes and my camera, but I still enjoyed my time. Of course The boys did not want to leave when I picked them up, but they actually did fairly well. Once home, I cut and squeezed a bunch of lemons and we made lemonade. While running the peels through the disposal, it broke loose from the under sink pipes (which are cartoon ridiculous in their construction), and The Dude and I got in a heated argument over the fact that I insist on continuing to try to use the machines in our house for their intended purpose. I like my garbage disposal to dispose of garbage, my dish washer to wash dishes, and my clothes dryer to dry clothes. I think it isn't too much to ask of these items to do what they are designed specifically to do. The Dude disagrees and thinks I should take any item that I can pick up, and throw it in the trash (even though food scraps go in the green bin). He also thinks it acceptable that the front panel is off the dishwasher, and the dryer actaull works as intended, so no issues there (knock on wood). The rest of the evening passed quietly.
Sunday I was feeling like I needed to DO something. While The Dude played soccer and between loads of laundry, I started back in on The Boys' rooms. I got all of the boxes out of the office/playroom and finished taking down the bookshelves. Swept and mopped and while The Dud was holding an open house, my Mother-in-law came over to help. We got all of the furniture moved around, and The Oldest's room is pretty much done. I still need a night light for him and a hamper for The Youngest, but you can see the progression below:
Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.
And of course, no Music Monday would be complete without a song that popped up in my shuffle while working on The Boys' rooms, and stuck with me the rest of the day and evening.
Thursday, September 16, 2010
OMG, this is F*cking FANTASTIC
I seriously laughed so hard at this post (found via Blogs of Note), that I was crying and in need of incontinence products.
GO. HERE. NOW!
Hyperbole and a Half
Come back later, when you've recovered.
GO. HERE. NOW!
Hyperbole and a Half
Come back later, when you've recovered.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Been gone too long
Have been without consistent internet connection since the first of September. Still spotty, but thought I should at least drop a note to let everyone know I hadn't fallen off the earth ;-)
Monday, September 6, 2010
Music Monday - NSFW
OK, this was on my Monday a while ago, and I still am singing this song in my head - I think it's the hook, and the Gospel singers - Love them! The official video dropped last week, and it's really great - see for yourself:
Of Couse that led me to a similarly titled song that I was singing to myself when it came out:
And yes, I know this is not the official video - but damn, I like this version Soooooo much more!
Happy Monday All!
Of Couse that led me to a similarly titled song that I was singing to myself when it came out:
And yes, I know this is not the official video - but damn, I like this version Soooooo much more!
Happy Monday All!
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Thoughtful Thursday
People on my list this week:
Audrey (US) - Has to figure out a new treatment option - which chemo? Eeney, Meanie, Miney, Moe...
Audrey (CN) - Hasn't posted on her blog in a couple of days, so hoping she's ok.
Hanan - Still managing her cancer.
For the people in my life harboring so much anger that it will start to kill them - I hope that they are able to process and recognize it for what it is, and then let it go so that it doesn't damage all of our lives.
Everyone who is stressed out - My hope is for all of us, maybe just for a moment, to take a deep breath and relax.
May good health always be yours.
J9
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