Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Regrets

So I posted one of those silly facebook status things today:
If I have EVER made you smile, click like. Then put this in your status and see how many you get :)
Got a few likes, but I also got this:
I remember you made me sad when I was like 10.. That time you called me a "brat" at my parents house in Fremont.#grude
My response:
I have very few regrets, but that is actually one of them. I have felt horrible ever since that night about how poorly I treated you.

Truth is, he was only 6, he was acting like a spoiled brat, and I said it in their hot tub. I upset him, his parents and embarrassed myself and my parents. I was maybe 12 at the time, and no slouch in the bratty department. And yes, I still feel bad about it over 30 years later...

But this got me thinking about the regrets I do have, and if they actually taught me anything about myself, or those around me.

I regret some of the things I've done, mostly due to my inability to keep my mouth shut.
I regret having verbally assaulted my sister for the majority of our childhood.
I regret having been disrespectful of my parents.
I regret having thought that I was growing up in a family of idiots.
I regret not having given that man a free meal at McDonald's during my first week of work. He needed the food, and I was too chicken to do it. By the time I got up the courage, and just paid for it out of my own pocket, it was too late. He still ate, but I still feel bad for not being as kind initially.

Mostly I regret the things I haven't done.
I regret not having sex with that guy in college. It would have been good, but I probably would regret it to this day, so kind of a lose/lose.
I regret not having the conversations I should have, with the people I loved and lost.
I regret denying who I am for the comfort of others.
I regret not having sex with that gal in college. It would have been good, and would have been better able to navigate my adult life.
I regret not learning everything I could when I was in college. My goal was getting out, not learning. I did learn what I was supposed to, and I got out, but there were many missed opportunities there.
I regret not being my own advocate.

What do you regret?

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