Friday, August 8, 2014

Tough times and memories

So, I have been thinking quite a bit lately about mortality (I know, cheery subject). My reflections are around what I want to do with my life. Obviously, I want  to see The Boys grown into men who are happy and self supporting, kind and healthy. I also want to travel more (which will happen). Mostly though, I want the people around me to know that they are loved. So, if I haven't told you lately (or ever), I am telling you now. I love you. You are important and you matter to me.

This week upcoming is a cousin's birthday, followed shortly by the anniversary of her mother's death. Soon Corky will be in the same situation. Both do not like the time around their birthday's because of the pain of loss they both feel. I cannot know what it is like, as both of my folks are still here, still alive, and still able to hear and feel my message of love. I suppose in some way so are their mothers, but not in a way that would necessarily show. I am thinking of how I want to help Corky, and I just made reservations to take her a couple of hours out of town, to a place neither of us have been, to relax and explore together. I was considering a particular place, that The Boys would also enjoy, but decided I would save that for us all to go, maybe during the holidays.

Also, starting to feel a little anxious about an upcoming family reunion. The last time I saw or spoke to any of these people was likely 3 or 4 years ago. I was still with the ex, and now I am showing up with my girlfriend. I have no clue what (if any) the reaction will be. I have been running scenarios in my head and trying to figure out various levels of response.

Today was a great day though. The Boys finished jazz band camp with a concert, and The Youngest says he's doing it again next year. He got considerably better over the course of just five days though, with a little help from The Oldest.

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