Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Work should not make you cry - really

There are things worth crying over, A loved one dies (this includes pets), your heart is broken, you are run over by a truck, etc. Work is not one of the myriad of things that should cause you to cry. At least MY work shouldn't. I suppose if your work is something you are completely passionate about and is a matter of life and death, then when your day falls to shit at work, you have every right to cry. My job is not like that at all. I am a cubicle dweller in a large corporation. My work does not affect people's lives, and my job sucks. I am good at about half of what I am supposed to be doing and I suck at the other half. Of course the halves actually add up to about 80 hours a week, if I were to do them the way they should be done. I don't get paid for 80 hours a week, nor can I carve out that kind of time, unless I cut out sleeping all together.
Yesterday was a horrible day. As I stated on Monday, there is this space survey thing going on and driving everyone insane and paranoia keeps ramping up. Yesterday I was unable to go to the office because The Oldest puked in the hallway at school, just as the day was beginning and I was on my way to the office. He came home with me and laid on the couch ALL DAY. He wasn't his usual talkative self, just a sluggish and sick kid. He didn't throw up the rest of the day, drank fluids, and had toast for dinner, which he kept down. He fell asleep at 6:30 and didn't wake up for 12 hours. I was planning on having him stay home with The Dude today as a precaution, but The Dude proclaimed him fit for school. Guess what? The nurse called for someone to pick him up as he was running a slight fever (99.7), and his only complaint had been that The Dude packed him orange juice instead of apple juice to drink with lunch...
So, I was stressed because I missed an entire day of the dude walking around and checking my cube, which may mean I get a smaller cube, or a cube mate, or something... Then I was getting nasty grams from EVERYONE related to the part of my job I suck at because I didn't have something listed appropriately, didn't do the status reports for the residents of at least 3 Bolgie in the Ninth Circle of Hell on time, and wasn't able to remember something said in a phone conversation 3 months ago... Then my e-mail froze while in the middle of looking for a solution for another person's problem, causing me to freak out, and the person to threaten escalation to my boss for not responding immediately to an INTANT MESSAGE request that was marked urgent because her boss needed the information... And the answer was in my e-mail. And I had to reboot several times, wiping out several of my calendar entries in the recovery process, for which I will undoubtedly be lambasted. At one point in the midst of all of this, I just started crying from the stress. I was bawling and IMing a coworker who was able to talk me down, and told me to take a break and remember that my priority is my sick kid, not the wasteland known as my job. So I did just that, and you know what? I felt better. I was able to reprioritize my work, and some of it didn't get done yesterday. I got more nasty grams today about those same things, but I'm trying deep breathing exercises, and writing about it helps too. Because The Oldest came home at lunch, the afternoon play date was rescheduled, which made The Youngest completely melt down on the way home, even after I stayed an HOUR at school to let him play... And that was considered my lunch hour, BTW.
The ONE good work related thing that happened today is I got a key to a bike locker, which will be nice! I will no longer have to strip my bike of all valuables (computer, paniers, bungees, seat) before entering the building which will save at least 10 minutes each morning and afternoon. The ladies in Real Estate (in the basement) were really very nice too!

8 comments:

Cynthia L. H. said...

I'm sorry. Hopefully the writing was a good kind of purge. Hope your little man gets better quickly.
Hang in there. Keep taking those little mini breaks...even if it's just a few deep, deep breaths.

iasa said...

Sorry you have been so stressed lately. A good cry can be cathartic but i know it seems a shame to waste it on work.

Hope the oldest feels better and the youngest stays healthy. We've had the flu round here for two weeks.

~JarieLyn~ said...

I know what it's like being stressed at work. It sucks to break down in the workplace but it's good that you had someone who understood what you were going through.

I hope your kid gets better, and I hope you do too.

You ride your bike to work? Hmm. I couldn't do it.

Chef E said...

If I was there, I would give you a hug! I just cried and cried last weekend, hubby out of town, menopause/hormones, and feeling like I was totally worthless with my job issues lately...

Now I regret feeling like that, because I have more deadlines this past week than I thought I ever could...

*virtual hug* :)

Kathryn said...

Oh, you poor thing! It sounds like you'd reached the end of your rope...all that stress had to go somewhere.

When it's coming at you from all directions, what's a gal to do? We don't fight wars or hit people...we cry. And then we feel better.

You've got a lot on your plate! Seriously! And you still found the silver lining to share with us!

CalSurf59 said...

J9 -- We both dwell in the same cubicle hell and I can tell you there are days I've done the same thing! My advice? Pull the top three things from the butt-load of work you need to get done (and by which no mortal human can ever accomplish) and focus on those. Do the same thing the next day. Eventually, you see daylight, or at least a sliver of it! :)

BTW, tell me who the IM Monster Person is and I'll go bitch-slap them for ya! *LOL*

Barry said...

One benefit to having a life threatening illness is that I haven;t worked since last May.

After reading your post I now recall why this is a benefit.

Keep up those deep breathing exercises.

shabby girl said...

I'm so sorry! I remember feeling guilty about not going to work when my kids were home sick. Isn't that just ridiculous?
I read somewhere that a good cry will balance your brain chemicals. So you should be great by tomorrow!