Oh for fuck's sake

The first time I discussed porn with The Boys (both) and on line searches happened three years ago. The next time was last year with The Oldest and the sexting debacle, and today was conversation number three. This one with The Youngest about a search I found on my PC after he was supposed to be writing his state report for fifth grade... I was in and out of the house working on a cool project I will share later. When I turned up my monitor, there was a google image search of sitting women, naked and legs spread. The image up was more clinical than typical porn, and represented an uncommon vulva (for porn). The hood was larger than I usually see, and the outer labia a bit puffier than the current porn norm. So today's discussion was about it being okay to be curious, but to be careful what you search for as you could net a whole bunch of stuff that is completely inappropriate, as well as not even real life. You will then go through life with misconceptions about what people actually do in bed, and your expectations will be completely unrealistic. I think I will be having The Boys watch this video:

Oh, and I made him the same offer I'd made The Oldest - that I would be happy to get some magazines in here, but The Oldest cannot stand the smell of newsprint nor magazines - it makes him gag, so The Youngest would have these all to himself. I will take him to Barnes & Noble and let him browse. I'm not talking porn mags, but maybe Victoria's Secret.

And so puberty has hit The Youngest in full force...

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

For a weekend without The Boys, this was a very busy weekend.

Friday
My second day in a row, with Corky at my house. I miss her when she isn't here, and I felt spoiled by the breakfasts she made and getting to sleep with her. It was also the occasion of our being together for 9 months. I worked and she did a bunch of stuff, including picking up a weed eater for my new digs. It rained the day before, so we have to wait to use it. For dinner we tried a new local vegan restaurant. The food was pretty decent. I wasn't fond of the green beans, because they were not as done as I like, and too spicy for me. The brown rice was fine. The Chow Mein was really good, and not greasy. The won tons were nice and crispy, and the filling was fine. This place uses mostly meat replacers, and it was a ground meat texture and small enough amount in the won tons that I wasn't weirded out. Not so for the sweet & sour. It was tempeh sort of chunks, battered and fried and in a sweet & sour sauce. The sauce was fine, the batter also fine, but the chunks were too meat like. it totally grossed me out. It is a bit unfortunate that a vegan place has marginal vegetable only dishes, and the "good" ones are meat subs. Corky really liked the sweet & sour, and I suppose I'll try a different all veg choice next time. I always order dry fried string beans if they are on the menu because I have a dream that I will find the perfect ones I used to eat at a hole in the wall in Livermore. The family that owned it, sold it and now it isn't Szechuan anymore. Bums me out. I went at least once a week for lunch and they knew my order when I walked in and just brought it to me. I was addicted to those, and no others have come close. Sadly, I continue to search. In the ensuing almost 20 years, I have eaten at damned near every Szechuan place in a 50 mile radius, and still no comparison.

Saturday
Corky worked and I hosted The Oldest for his homework that has been missing all week. The ex went to Great America with his GF, and The Youngest, and couldn't change his plans / didn't want to be inconvenienced, so I had The Oldest. He organized all of his work, and completed the assignments all within about 4 hours. I spent the time ensuring he'd completed what he said he was doing, and finishing up unpacking The Youngest's room. Picked up a couple of sweatpants after the ex picked up the Oldest. We are starting beach volleyball back up and I don't have anything even remotely work-out ish. Corky made dinner at her house, and I came home to sleep.

Sunday
Corky worked and I was supposed to do a photo shoot. Got a text around 7am that one of the subjects was flaking out, making two of the others not want to do it either (this was supposed to be a family portrait of a friend, all her kids & grand kids who were only in town for the weekend). Bummer, but I started in immediately with organizing and unpacking The Oldest's room. I finally completed that herculean task around noon, took a shower and chilled until Corky got off work. We grocery shopped, came home and I started making dinner while she weed whacked in the yard. She got about a third of the weeds, but they were still a bit wet to be very effective. Dinner was large salads and MoJoPo's asparagus and tomato tart. Find it at the link. The Boys made it home in time for Corky to see them before showers, chilling and bed. I feel like I actually accomplished quite a bit this weekend, and feel pretty good about myself right now. Looking forward to sleep.

I hope you all have an adventurous week!

Easster and other stuff

We celebrated Easter this weekend with an Easter basket (read candy) hunt, involving 5 clues per kid. My folks hosted an Easter brunch which included direct efforts to communicate their religious views and thoughts on Jesus, how we trust in him and that helps us survive the bad things that happen. I suppose they find comfort in their faith. Good for them. I do not follow their faith, and often feel left out of the conversations. It's OK because I prefer flying under the radar. I have faith and spirituality, but it is not centered around a religious tome. My Aunt attended brunch, which means another coming out story. I called her Saturday night to tell her, you know, give her a heads up before Sunday. At first she didn't understand, as I'd stated I was bringing my girlfriend. Once I realized I'd used a term that has different connotations in her mind, I added that this is someone I've been dating for the last 9 months. She asked if I was okay, and I said the truth, that I am happier than I've been in a really long time. She cried at the memory of me as a child (we were closer then). She lammented about my time married, and I reminded her of the time she took me to a medical lab to show me blood under a microscope, and I fainted. We laughed about how I would never have been a Dr. and wondered about how I no longer feel faint in an emergency involving blood. She cried some more about how stong she sees me (and I am strong - emotionally and physically). She said how awesome and wonderful I am (and I am). Easter itself, she was fine. Visited with us all and didn't say or do anything weird. Let me add that I didn't think she would, but she is a neo con and known to spout ditto head talking points. Now that she knows, she can alter her discussions at least she did that day. I guess this will be the case with the rest of my fundamentalist family. However I say that none of that really matters (I suppose it shouldn't), knowing my family loves me completely and unconditionally is a revelation, and makes me cry.

Oh, also had an egg hunt for money, got in an argument on fb about boycotting jelly belly, and cried from missing Corky at my house. I know eventually she will live here too, and I am lonely when she isn't. She spent Saturday night and was here to witness the kids following the clues to their baskets. I loved having her here for the holiday. It felt more right.

Disneyland pics (finally)

I've been busy (as you already know), but I did upload photos from Disneyland. And yes, I did tie dye the shirts :-)

Created with flickr slideshow.

Moving and vacation

So The Boys, The Dogs, The Cat and I have moved to a house. Now each pubescent boy has his own room, and not a day too soon! The Dogs have a backyard, and The Cat can go outside again. This move in particular took a great deal of effort and work. Where we moved to required days of work installing things that were missing and cleaning. The move itself was painful. Lots of people who were really exhausted by the end of it, and I managed to piss off Corky.

The timing was not great. We were at Disneyland for the days preceding the move. The vacation was awesome, the weather was perfect, and the earthquakes were only mildly discomforting. The Oldest sounded great, the entire band looked and sounded great, and I had my first argument with Corky because I'd gotten up early, was crabby and thought the early hour was pointless (it wasn't). We weathered the argument (which amounted mostly to me being bitchy), the earthquake and aftershocks and 12 hours in the car plus 3 days in the parks. We still love each other, and it was really difficult coming home to the grind.

the very next day, I received the keys to the new place and began hauling boxes to the garage. This continued for a few days until I needed to start moving things into the house, and had to spend 8 hours cleaning with two other people. I also had to install 2 closet rods and shelves, a mailbox, and repair the fence so I could bring the dogs. I had some friends really flake on me and drop out of helping me move, and a couple others who really stepped up. My kitchen was rearranged three times, none of those were my desires. I spent hours being brow beaten about furniture placement, and ultimately had to redo the living room to be functional for me. Since moving in, it took a ton of effort to get phone service, Internet and TV, and the heater working. Still waiting on the second line jack install and reissue of voicemail...

Move in day (the furniture and everything else) was 5 days after getting the keys and lasted about 20 hours (for me) and 12 hours for my Sister & her Boyfriend and fewer hours for the rest, though we were all working hard. My folks were there to help, including the repair work to the fence (which was completed by Sister's Boyfriend). Since moving in, I've been unpacking, still cannot find the notebook I desperately need, installed a thermostat and new air filter, heard The Boys whine about The Cat keeping them up, started letting the cat outside at night (everyone is much happier and well rested), started walking to and from school with The Youngest, and lived without a microwave. I am ultimately happier with the house, but it seems like it's been a rather taxing move. Oh, and I have a sty on my eye that had my eye swollen shut yesterday morning, and hurts like hell. 

Wishing you a happy birthday

Today would have been Diane's 47th birthday. It would have been a day to celebrate and laugh and love.

Today I am thinking about her, about her laugh and I am missing our hours long talks. I still know her phone number by heart. I am thinking about her kids, and her sister and parents. I am going to call to say hi a bit later today. I am getting a memorial tattoo, maybe today, maybe not. I haven't yet figured out where on my body it will be. I think she would find irony in my placement, if it were risque in any way, but I want to be able to see it, so maybe my foot? The ankle that does not already have a tattoo?

Diane permeates my life, and always will. I can still hear her voice, see her face. I am so grateful to have had her as a friend. there have been so many changes in my life over the months she's been gone, and I would love to have had her take on it all. Luckily, I think I know what she would say in most instances, and can apply the kick in the pants to myself when needed. She impacted my life in such a positive way, and I can only hope that I am able to have people remember me as wonderfully when I am gone (a good long while away).

I love and miss you my dearest friend.

Please Stand By

I am moving house - after a 5 day trip to LA, which included a couple of band performances and a bunch of Earthquakes. I'll give you the run down, but not until I get some things completed - like the move...