Gaaaahhhhhhh

I was really very pissed off today. The Boys had a play date today at a friend's. It is on the complete other side of town (30 minutes away), and I was a bit hesitant about them being there without the parents, though the grandma was there. And I've had issues with this family previously on boundary setting, and letting the kids run amok with no supervision, all over their development. So I was VERY clear with all the kids and the grandma that I DID NOT approve the boys to go swimming. My boys are good swimmers, but given the family history of little supervision, I was not comfortable with it. Not. At. All. Of course when I came back for the kids, no one answered the door, so I walked to the pool where I found the boys, no grandma in sight. Then I got meltdowns and out right ignoring when I told them to get out of the pool. I'd been there for about 5 minutes before the grandma reappeared, shrugging and looking only mildly sheepish. Because she speaks limited English, I could only convey my anger through my eyes. I FINALLY got the boys out of the pool and changed into their uniforms for TKD. That is the last time they will be playing at that house. Ever. I talked to the boys on the way to TKD about what went so wrong with their decision to ignore completely my direction. If they were going to swim (which I was assured was NOT GOING TO HAPPEN), I would have stayed to watch them. I was told they would be staying in the house, playing board games. This is following last evening's experience with the neighbor kids at the house until I had to send them home at The Boys' bed time. The parents never once came to ask about their kids, or even called them for dinner. And The Youngest fought with the boy. It ended in crying and screaming, and that was the end of their time here. Even tonight, as soon as I pulled into the driveway, they came running over, but I'd had it up to my eyeballs and told them to go home. They have been complaining that I got rid of the junky snack foods. Oh, I'm sorry! When the hell was I put in charge of feeding the neighborhood? My snack costs TRIPLED! So now it is only fruits and vegetables, which my kids will eat, but at which the neighbor kids turn up their noses. The other side of it that I do feel bad that they are likely ignored at their own home, but still...
Then I vent to The Dude, and he just says that I made a poor decision to leave the boys at that house. Well, that was helpful and made me feel Soooooooo much better. Thanks. I suppose HE would have gone over and sat with The Boys and their friend, and the grandma? NOOOOOOooooooo, he was not anywhere near volunteering for that!