Friday, December 23, 2011

I'm Really Trying

To get into the holiday spirit of giving and feeling blessed, and gratuity, and loving my fellow people and all. But honestly? I'm so not feeling it this year with all of the tension in the air and the yelling and fighting and bickering. I really, REALLY want to feel good about everything, I WANT to find the happy place this season. I WANT to capture the magic of humanity, but the crass consumerism and days on end in the same general area with a person I am growing to resent more and more is making it difficult for me. I need to focus on what I have in my life, not on what I lack. I need to move forward, and feel stuck. It seems like I get to that place of happy - listening to Christmas music, and reading good wishes. And then, as if to remind me of how exactly shitty my life is, something happens. I need a new battery for my car, I need new tires for my car, The Dude says he wants to take The Boys to Arizona for a long weekend and Spring Training that neither kid actually wants to go to, or I get a check for a deposit refund, and it's made out to The Dude. I will never see that money again, even though I made the original deposit.

Still trying

This video generally makes me very happy, but not today...

1 comment:

Not-My-Journal said...

Loved it! Loved it! Loved it!