Stress and Health and Eating too much

How can I possibly live under the amount of stress placed on me by myself and by others?

I. Don't. Know.

I am a stress eater. I have steadily gained weight for a while now (I'm thinking about 4 years at this point). My boys don't remember having a fit and trim mom. That makes me cry. I can feel that my body is blocking up and retaining all the bad things, and I feel powerless to stop eating this way. I need to cleanse my system and start over, kind of a dietary reboot. I'm getting sick on a too regular basis.

My job is very stressful. I have accepted additional responsibilities that I feel ill equipped to handle. I am in WAY over my head, and I don't want to lose my job. That is making me cry. I have to be able to divide my brain into 5 distinct areas of expertise on a daily if not hourly basis.

We are in financial ruin. The Dude has taken over the bills to ease some of my stress, but all the calls, and the things he is not paying has me going nuts.

I love my family, but I feel distanced from The Dude. We don't talk, we don't do things together. It's like we are roommates, and that makes me lonely. Can't really blame him though - I am no fun to be around right now, a sobbing fat mess.

One thing that cheered me up this week:

Found on Twitter - no I don't have an account, I do not tweet...
This Swine Flu (H1N1) is getting absolutely ridiculous! Hamthrax, Sownanella, Aporkalypse, Oinkmageddon, Hamademic?!?!?

I'm going for a long walk in the sun to clear my mind and hopefully feel better about myself and the world around me. I don't want to have a heart attack and die. I love life too much, but I cannot continue under this amount of stress.

Tableau Tuesday 5/12/09

These shots are from the past two weeks. I didn't do one last week because I was busy, but today I've got plenty! These were shot in San Francisco, Capitola, Santa Cruz, Danville and my backyard. I played a little with the flowers on artistic filters, but didn't adjust the colors at all. This is a magnificent rose garden and everything is so beautiful right now!


Created with Admarket's flickrSLiDR.

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

This weekend was Mother's Day, but I'll get to that later. On Friday there was no Happy Hour play date, which kind of bummed me out. But The Youngest had belt testing, which I suspect he did not pass. Both boys have not been practicing as much as they should, and I've been rather lax in making them practice. He also had a baseball game on Saturday, and following that, I updated my garden, hanging the tomato buckets, and planting a couple of artichokes that I will need to move again because they will crowd everything else. So we spent a good part of the day outdoors. Sunday we had brunch with my folks, sis and nephews and my aunt and uncle. The food was pretty good, and other than The Dude being kind of a dick, and my dad being a curmudgeon (and me sitting between the two) it was a good meal. In the afternoon mom, sis and I took the boys to the park, and they ran around like maniacs and played really well together. After an entire weekend outdoors, I'm beat and watching the replay of the White House Correspondents Dinner.

My Town Shoot Out - Gardens

This week's theme comes courtesy of Gigi and the theme is gardens. Because I have been VERY busy with our out of town guest. We had a complete blast, btw...

I recommend going to look at everyone's home towns. You can find us all in the comments of Patty or Reggie Girl's Blogs, or in the sidebar from Gordon or GingerV.

I have been remiss in my posting. However, I did get some AWESOME shots of the Japanese Tea Gardens in Golden Gate Park! OK, so it isn't specifically my home town, but it is the major metropolis I am near. And because there are no rules, I decided that it would be OK to post these!

And I decided to post from my own garden window:

And my own backyard garden too:

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend - and technically, it still is Friday where I live!

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up

I am actually a bit thankful that it rained this weekend. Of course we need the rain, but as an added bonus everyone was indoors the whole time, and had to help me clean the house. I initially thought that would be crap in a can because as anyone who has kids might have an inkling, for every one item a mom puts away, 10 more are pulled out. On Friday afternoon, before the boys were out of school, and after all my meetings I cleaned the bathrooms. This is possibly my least favorite cleaning chore ever. Having 3 males in the house who all stand up to pee makes it even less appealing than say, squeezing boils on the groin of an ogre. And because we have a house guest starting on Sunday, I actually scrubbed the floors with bleach. I had to keep taking breaks because the fumes were getting to me, but after, we actually had white tile floors, and my back was killing me.


On Saturday The Dude let me sleep in and my back was much better when I did roll out of bed. When I started cleaning, I nearly tore my hair out, and then I made The Boys responsible for picking up every single toy that was not in it's proper place. I had them start in their room, move to the office/playroom, then the living room and kitchen. They whined, they moaned, they begged me not to have to do it, they even fought with each other in an attempt to distract me. I perservereed and then set a time limit of 30 minutes, after which any toy I found would go to the trash. They did an admirable job, and only lost a couple of army men to the trash. I also swept, vacummed and mopped the rest of the house, claened the kitchen table, dusted, washed the glass tables, folded and put away laundry, swithched The Youngest up to sizes 7/8, and bagged all the 4/5/6 stuff for friends. I also had a long conversation with mom, talked to our guest to get flight info, and wrote a grocery list. I didn't get a shower until 4 in the afternoon, and styed in jammies all day, as did The Youngest. The Boys alternated between cartoons, iCarly, DS playing, setting up orchestras, and watching Lego Star Wars on You Tube. After I put away all of the clothes, and around dinner time, The Dude took a nap. Later that night, our front window was egged. Again. The Dude washed it off, but it's a pain in the ass all the same.


On Sunday, I let The Dude sleep in. And when he did awake, his first words to me were, "Did you have a gallon of milk and a half a wheel of chees before you came to bed?" I guess I was snoring like a fiend, but that statement, before "good morning" or anything had me laughing! I noticed that the cat and dog were acting strange - not sure if it's the weather, the clean house (which is unusual), or if it's a harbinger for an earthquake! Spent the day getting ready for Marianne - our houseguest for the week! The Boys spent the day repeatedly asking when Aunt Marianne was going to be here. I finally begged The Dude to take The Boys out of the house so that I could finish what I needed to do. The house looks great and sparkly, and Marianne arrived without a hitch. I did find it mildly amusing that there were several people walking around SFO with masks over their nose and mouth. I'll assume this was to prevent Swine Flu, but maybe they just botched their colagen injection and ended up with fish lips. The Dude let The Boys stay up late to see Aunt Marianne, and they were really funny this morning, getting dressed before emerging from their room, and continually asking if she was going to get up before they went to school.

Sunday Stills - Flowers & Plants

This week's Sunday Stills Challenge theme is Flowers & Plants. Check the link and comments for everyone's postings.

This week has been rainy, so I went to the archives for my shots:

Happy Sunday all!

My Town Shoot Out - Architecture

This week's theme comes from Jen:

I chose: Architecture - old and crumbling, new and shiny, in between. The beauty of structures - or the eyesore they can become. Abandoned, or bursting with life and activity, buildings tell a story.
Also, based on some great advice, I edited my original idea: architecture, but perhaps getting up close and personal with the building, maybe there is intricate design work on a window that reveals more of the building's beauty or story than the whole building does. Of course, the goal is to show the beauty of the structure, so however you do it will be wonderful!

I recommend going to look at everyone's home towns. You can find us all in the comments of Patty or Reggie Girl's Blogs, or in the sidebar from Gordon or GingerV.

And There are no rules, AND this has been a CRAZY week, so I'm putting up what I've got from the archives, as it is raining now, and I don't particularly want to go out today at all (see yesterday's post for why I'd rather stay in today). All images are from Pleasanton, the town where I grew up, and I feel like it is much more fascinating architecturally than the town I live in now.

This first image is of the siding on a house near downtown. I loved the scalloped look of this, and think it is offset nicely by the green accent paint.This is an alleyway on Main Street, and I love it for the repeating pattens on the trellis above, the window, the wall on the right, and the walkway below. All those squares remind me of Alice in Wonderland (and no, I don't know why).This is a newer office building near downtown, done in Italian Villa as interpreted by Spanish colonialism and California Mission style. At least, that's how it feels to me...The detail of one of the iron gates, which look like they do not actually function.The side of an old building on Main Street. I like the unevenness of the brickwork. It looks intentional, or like the bricklayers were a keg of beer into the day.This is a newer apartment/condo unit downtown, and I like the repeating windows, but I have to wonder how that translates indoors - is this along a hallway? two windows in each of two rooms?

I hope you enjoyed yet another mini tour of the things I like to look at in my home town!