Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Stress and Health and Eating too much

How can I possibly live under the amount of stress placed on me by myself and by others?
I. Don't. Know.

I am a stress eater. I have steadily gained weight for a while now (I'm thinking about 4 years at this point). My boys don't remember having a fit and trim mom. That makes me cry. I can feel that my body is blocking up and retaining all the bad things, and I feel powerless to stop eating this way. I need to cleanse my system and start over, kind of a dietary reboot. I'm getting sick on a too regular basis.

My job is very stressful. I have accepted additional responsibilities that I feel ill equipped to handle. I am in WAY over my head, and I don't want to lose my job. That is making me cry. I have to be able to divide my brain into 5 distinct areas of expertise on a daily if not hourly basis.

We are in financial ruin. The Dude has taken over the bills to ease some of my stress, but all the calls, and the things he is not paying has me going nuts.

I love my family, but I feel distanced from The Dude. We don't talk, we don't do things together. It's like we are roommates, and that makes me lonely. Can't really blame him though - I am no fun to be around right now, a sobbing fat mess.

One thing that cheered me up this week:

Found on Twitter - no I don't have an account, I do not tweet...
This Swine Flu (H1N1) is getting absolutely ridiculous! Hamthrax, Sownanella, Aporkalypse, Oinkmageddon, Hamademic?!?!?

I'm going for a long walk in the sun to clear my mind and hopefully feel better about myself and the world around me. I don't want to have a heart attack and die. I love life too much, but I cannot continue under this amount of stress.


iasa said...

i am so sorry you are going through these tribulations right now. I wish i had some magical words for you.

if you ever want to vent to a complete stranger you can always email me,

A walk in the sun is an excellent idea, hope you enjoy it.

Noe Noe Girl...A Queen of all Trades. said...

Sorry about all the stress chickie. I have big shoulders if you need to talk. I am also a believer in controlled substances for anything that ails you. Call your doctor if you have too. Walking helps ease stress. I try to power walk on both my breaks at work everyday. Here for you.

bearer of three said...

I was definitel in a very similar situation so my best advice for you is that you really need time to yourself. I know it doesnt seem like much but you need time to just think and reevaluate your life, what you like, what you dont like and how your going to change it. I know what its like to be the perfect wife, Perfect worker and perfect mom...its impossible. Also talking to someone may help. It seems like your depressed and you need to handle it now before it gets worst...Stress is not only unhealthy but can bring on a lot more problems then you need right now...If you want more advice or want to talk on a personal note my email in I hope you feel better

Gordon said...

J9, you are the best, girl! I know you have determination. I have seen it, for sure! Start today and look forward! Control the things you can control, and turn the rest over to God. If you live each day determined to make today better than yesterday, you willl not fail.
Hey! I know! I'll loan you my skateboard (Rip Stick)
I don't know about anybody else, but I certain that you will turn things around, starting today. Walk With Faith, one day at a time.
Go Girl!

Chef E said...

The 'stress' button is cute, where do people find these things? I do not tweet, or like face book, who needs to see what everyone is doing every few minutes in the day...

I took a long walk by the canal today and it was relaxing, so hope yours is too!

Anonymous said...

J9 -- You are free to scream at me anytime you like. Call, Instant Message, Set Up Lunch!

ROSIDAH said...

Sending my prayers to be with you and your family :)! Take good care about yourself, my dear.