Monday, January 13, 2014

Monday Morning Weekend Wrap Up - update at end

Things have been particularly stressful and trying in my personal life lately, so this weekend was spent trying to relax.

School district meeting and teaching art. Was exhausted when it was all said and done. The Boys both had a ton of homework coming into the weekend. Spent the afternoon getting them to working on that. Corky was over for dinner and all of us played dominoes until bed time.

Laundry, cleaning, grocery shopping. That was following sleeping for 11 hours because I clearly needed the rest. Spent time contemplating the greater questions of life, and white privilege. Also spent time getting The Boys to do more homework, corrected the math work and there were some corrections to be made. The Oldest organized his folders and binders and practiced trombone. The Youngest finished his math homework and wrote a book report. He also read half of another book in preparation for another book report. There are 25 of these due in May, and he has had the entire school year to do them, but has not done so.

More laundry and packing The Youngest for 5th grade camp this upcoming week. The Youngest finished the second book, and book report. Felt really meh all morning because I have so much to do and little time to do any of it. Edited more of the recent wedding photos and tried to get the proofs off to the couple, and upload the October wedding photos to the book software. While the newest newlyweds decide on the proofs, I will be completing the wedding book for the October wedding. I need to pick up more jeans for The Oldest, as the majority of the 8 pairs I have already purchased have now been left at the ex's... I love stocking two separate places with double the clothes for The Boys... Corky came over for dinner, but even that was tinged with a pall. She wasn't in a good mood, and I wasn't either. The boys were their usual selves, and she wished they'd spent time outdoors today, while I was happy they finished their work and allowed me to do the photo work I needed. I almost wanted to just hole myself up and finish the photos, but then I feel bad about not putting time toward our relationship, or toward The Boys. Which leaves me now at 10pm working photos, and possibly past midnight, which then places me in a bad mood from lack of sleep... Vicious cycle.

Well, Monday starts an entirely new week, full of potential for fun and engaging relationships. I do worry that Corky is not prepared for joining a life with two adolescent boys, and their neurotic mother. I am their only mother. I make the decisions. I do not want to have to be the intermediary between My Sons, and my girlfriend. The Boys will always come first, and I am too old and tired to play any games around that. I am not going to over analyze this, but it does make me think about how that would all work. I don't expect her to totally roll over and let them run her down, but I also am the last word on anything related to them.

Malaise and ennui. Meh.

Woke up this morning realizing I need to actually talk to Corky about some important things (if we are going to move forward in our relationship). Things like my home being the one place where I want The Boys to feel safe in expressing themselves, good, bad and everything in between. That is my job; to help them navigate their understanding of the world around them, and let them know what is acceptable in public. Our home is not public, and there is a certain level of casualness that goes along with being at home. The Boys are more comfortable with having Corky around, so now the nice and courteous behavior is gone, replaced by what I experience all the time - the crass and smelly behavior of boys. They are still my loving and caring children, but they are also forging their way in the world of "man up" being a thing, and playing up for a laugh.

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