Thursday, March 19, 2009

Love Dare Day 17

Today's Dare:

Determine to guard your mate’s secrets (unless they are dangerous to them or to you) and to pray for them. Talk with your spouse, and resolve to demonstrate love in spite of these issues. Really listen to them when they share personal thoughts and struggles with you. Make them feel safe.

Really? In SPITE of the secrets your spouse may have? DEMONSTRATE LOVE IN SPITE OF... I am having a difficult time believing that resolving to love someone despite their secrets is a good way to hold onto a relationship. I think you love someone because of their secrets, and their imperfections, because they are a part of the person you love unconditionally. You don't go into a relationship planning to love someone only until you see their darker side. Also, when would you make your chosen life partner not feel safe in sharing ANYTHING at all with you?

Is it just The Dude and me? We don't have secrets from one another. We share everything. The good, bad and ugly of our thoughts and desires. Sometimes we just want the other to listen, and sometimes we need to talk something out, or look for alternatives. We always feel free to share anything, and at least from my standpoint, do not ever use that information later for anything at all. I also know that The Dude does not keep secrets well, and I did have issues with our lives, struggles, etc. being fodder for public discussions with our friends. I don't have those issues anymore, because I found that the more you share your life with a person or people, the more you realize that we all help each other. We all share in the struggles and the joy, and that's what truly makes a community of people.

I'm still going to go through all 40 days, but it is seeming more and more that this is geared toward people struggling in their relationships.

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